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Where does your D child sleep?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by lil'Man'sMom, Oct 27, 2010.

  1. lil'Man'sMom

    lil'Man'sMom Approved members

    Jan 8, 2008
    I have always tried REALLY hard not to let diabetes take over our lives. I have worked REALLY hard at Mann sleep in his own room.

    I am a freak about sleeping babies. It started when my middle son was a baby. A friend of ours, unfortunately, lost their son to SIDS. He and my middle son were the same age, 3 months. This is when I started bringing him in with us. He was in and out until, :eek:gulp:eek:, he turned ten.

    We did co-sleeping with Mann until he was one.

    When Mann turned one I put him in his own room, no troubles. Then when he was four we moved, smaller house and no extra bedrooms, until addition was built (took 4 years:rolleyes:). So he was, again, with us. When D came into our lives he was already with us, no big deal.

    This past summer he expressed the desire to get into him own room, we now have the extra rooms. So we started the process. A few bumps in the night but we were just getting to where it wasn't a question as to where he would sleep, his room.

    Then the terrible news came about one our children, Eilish.

    I can't let go again, he is back with us. He doesn't know why, I would never tell him.

    The thought of him sleeping in his own room, which is upstairs and we are down, makes me physically ill. I know he needs this separation but I just can't...

    BTW - We do night checks, 12am and 3 am, regardless of where he sleeps.
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2010
  2. kimmcannally

    kimmcannally Approved members

    Feb 28, 2010
    Jackson sleeps in the living room - he won't sleep in his room. He stays up until midnight or so, and wakes me if he feels low. I always check him three hours after I go to bed if he has had insulin before I go to bed (he eats up until I do go to bed! :rolleyes: ) so he is checked every night. If his numbers are off, I'll check again three hours later.
  3. kiwikid

    kiwikid Approved members

    Dec 29, 2005
    We have a 4 bedroom home and only 1 child left at home... Rachel has never been good at going to bed and often comes into our bed in the early hours. After my Mum passed away in April she became very upset at bedtime and it was easier to get her to sleep in our living room, which is much closer to our room than the 3 kids rooms... When the big kids are home she will share a room with 1 of them but she feels safer and more secure being closer to us. I don't mind where she sleeps.. :cwds:
  4. lauraqofu

    lauraqofu Approved members

    Apr 19, 2010
    Cass goes back and forth between her room and mine, just depending on the night. I don't sleep well when she sleeps with me...I'm a light sleeper, but if she's anxious about her blood sugar she asks me to let her sleep in my room and it's hard to not let her.
  5. valerie k

    valerie k Approved members

    Feb 19, 2008
    matt sleeps in the room next to ours. His true room is downstairs in the basement with the other two children. However, he sleeps in the guest room.

    I would highly reccomend getting a baby monitor or one of those monitors from radio shack. You need to let him have the space he has asked for, and not let your fears overcome this.

    You check him often, thats the best you can do.
  6. JoelsMommy

    JoelsMommy Approved members

    Oct 23, 2010
    My son's room is just across the hall from ours. We leave our door open so I can listen for him. We check him at 2 am. We never had the kids sleep with us, so it hasn't been an issue for us.

    I'm sorry you're feeling anxiety over this.
  7. Karenwith4

    Karenwith4 Approved members

    Dec 2, 2007
    Em sleeps in the room beside us but if we are having a rough patch, she's had a crazy day or is ill she sleeps with us (and she's 9). But that's true of all my kids - well not the 12 year old any more but it used to be.

    Don't beat yourself up about it. If it gives you some peace of mind during this time, it helps him feel cared for and it isn't a point of contention for him it's all good.
  8. nikichickee

    nikichickee Approved members

    May 8, 2010
    She's been in our room since birth. She was only 11 months at dx so still nursing and I had a crib set up next to our bed with one rail removed to function as a co-sleeper. She has since moved into a toddler bed but that is the same place the crib was. I understand your dilemma as we have a new baby arriving in Feb and had hopes of moving CJ into Aiden's room across the hall but have since backed off the idea for a little while. We are planning on a baby monitor and hope that combined with the CGM that can offer us a little piece of mind but I still have yet to take the plunge
  9. riccog

    riccog Approved members

    Jul 31, 2006
    Alex has been in our bed since dx at 9mo. In the past year he has moved to a toddler bed next to ours. His bedroom is a good distance from ours and we wouldn't trust a monitor to alert us. Only 25% of the time he alerts us to a low.
  10. slpmom2

    slpmom2 Approved members

    May 16, 2008
    Our dd sleeps in her own room, across the hallway from us, with both doors (hers and ours) closed. BUT... we now have a baby monitor and a CGM, so we can be alerted if she alarms low. And dh checks her at least once during the night. I have a friend who has installed a doorbell by her son's bed that rings in their bedroom, so he can call for help if he's alert but feeling too cruddy to get to them. I would not be comfortable having my dd sleep on the other side of the house where we couldn't get to her (or have her get to us) easily. And when she was at summer camp this past summer, with me sleeping in another cabin across camp, I just didn't sleep much - lots of middle-of-the-night trips in the golf cart to go check her. It's hard, but I figure she has to have some semblance of normalcy in her life, and it's my job to figure out how to let her have that.
  11. SarahKelly

    SarahKelly Approved members

    Nov 14, 2009
    I think one thing to remember is that this family was checking their child. There wasn't anything that could have been done differently. I understand the anxiety, but just as with SIDS, these deaths don't have explanations that can keep our fears at bay.
    so, we each need to decide to do what is best for our children and families. I personally don't see anything wrong with sharing a room, however if your child is expressing their desire to have their own space it seems to be appropriate to find a way to help them do this. There is so much of their personal space being invaded due to diabetes so often that it seems important to allow them as many chances as possible to make positive decisions for themselves. Would he mind a monitor in his room for nighttime? Or, this may sound weird, but there are those angel monitors that some feel less anxiety about with SIDS where there is a part that goes under the sheet and detects if there is no movement for a certain period and alarms...would this help you?
    I understand your fears. I understand wanting to keep our children close and not allow anything more to happen to them....I get it.
    i hope you find a great answer that works for all of your family.
    BTW my son sleeps in our bed, not because of our fears, but rather because he's still nursing and I'm too lazy to get up when he needs me :)
  12. Jessica L

    Jessica L Approved members

    Oct 9, 2010
    We have 2 rooms up and 2 down. Ri was up with us but when my sons grand mals started I made the two rooms up into the family room and office. Now hubby and I are in the very open family room down stairs and the kids are in the two rooms.
  13. FloridaMom

    FloridaMom Approved members

    Sep 26, 2010
    Ryan sleeps in our room. We've always been a co-sleeping family, but especially now when he is honeymooning and it's much easier to roll over and check the CGM several times a night than it is to get up and go to a different room.
  14. BKKT10

    BKKT10 Approved members

    Jul 2, 2010
    My CWD sleeps in her big girl bed in her room. And my son sleeps in a crib in his room. I sleep by myself 2 nights out of the week (my husband works (2) 24 hour shifts) and sometimes I have a hard time sharing a bed with him when he's home, nevermind one of our kids.
  15. Nancy in VA

    Nancy in VA Approved members

    Jul 16, 2007
    My kids have always slept in their own room. Nothing changed after diagnosis, except for the fact that we made sure we had a light across the room that we could turn on to do our nighttime checks. We always set alarms to go in and check before we had the CGMS and now with the CGMS, we just use the CGMS alarms.

    I personally decided a while ago that I can't physically live my life in fear - its too exhausting. Eilish's parents did the overnight checks. They did everything right. Their child still died. I'm not sure that their child sleeping in their room would have made any difference. Since we were never co-sleepers before I saw no reason to change that now. We get plenty of our snuggles in the AM when Emma gets up, but she's in her own room until then.
  16. lhazc

    lhazc Approved members

    Aug 10, 2009
    We have struggled with this also, both of our boys have upstairs rooms and our stairs are hard wood with a stained concrete landing.. no way can I risk one of them getting low and trying to come downstairs and falling. We have a CGMS and baby monitor but It is not always able to wake us. So we have decided to sell our current living room furishings and replace with hid a bed sofas where both boys will sleep. They are happy with the plan and will still be able to sleep upstairs if friends are over ect..
  17. wilf

    wilf Approved members

    Aug 27, 2007
    DD's 14 and in her own room. She has been since well-before diagnosis. We come in at night and check as needed.
  18. sammysmom

    sammysmom Approved members

    Oct 30, 2005
    My boys share a room and they used to be 3 steps across the hall from us. When the baby came this summer we moved the boys to the basement. They have a HUGE room down there and they LOVE their "man cave"! I check Sam before I go to bed and then their dad checks him when he gets home from work...around 1 or 2am. Sam has a doorbell on his bed and I have a receiver in my room, if he needs me in the middle of the night he just rings! It works for us.
  19. ecs1516

    ecs1516 Approved members

    Dec 11, 2007
    They sleep in their own room. We use baby monitors now so I can hear the CGMs easily.
  20. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Nov 17, 2005
    I totally agree with Nancy on this. Same here, the only thing that changed for us was that we got out the monitor again. We all find we sleep better in our own beds (or nests as the girls call it). Hubby gets up around 4am to go to work or catch a flight, and while he tries to be quiet, he's not! If there is an issue, we check more frequently and will drag the monitor out if needed. Our rooms are all only steps away from each other.

    It took me a while to get over this fear of something terrible happening, but with the help of a counselor, I was able to do it. Yes, the tragedy that happened last week brought up those fears again, but I can't let it control me.

    This is just how our family works. I think, it's just best for everyone to do what they knows works for them.

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