Discussion in 'Parents of Teens' started by ppalmer, May 28, 2011.
Great prospective and very well said..
I have to agree with this, because the horror stories is something we experienced right off. I've had to discuss correct info with my son, in order to get his mind off of stories other people should have kept to themselves.
This is exactly how I feel about it Well said
When my son was diagnosed, one of the first things he said was great my life span is 15 years less. He learned this in health class.
To be honest, I'd be more inclined to speak to kids not about what complications could be waiting for them, but rather about how they can be healthy just like everyone else. It could be they've already heard negative comments in school, on the internet, or on tv. In my opinion as a parent my job was to be positive and talk about how with proper management he'll live a long, healthy life.
This is a fantastic post. Thank you for the information. I'm not one to dwell on the negative, but turns out even my generally positive spin on things can be boosted.
I just had an hour long late-night convo with Coco...just random things about life in general. What she wanted to do, who she wanted to marry, how many kids in life, how rich she was going to be - just great conversations of life - and not once, not one single time, in this open hearted, sometimes touchy subjected conversation, did she even say diabetes...it never entered her mind.
And that was beautiful. End of story.
Complications - she hears them. She knows them. But really, I have decided to not let them rule her life. And they do not.
Thank you Jeff!!!! This should be more than a sticky, this should automatically go to every poster!
Excuse me jumpimg in here even thow my dd will not be in this group for more than 6yrs from now, but I do have a bit of purspective since she has had "d" for more than 5 years.
ASk yourself, are you more afraid of what he will "hear", or more afraid of the actual complications?
For me it is what she might hear.
In the past 5 yars she has heard, "that terrible desease TOOK my father", and "diabetes killed my gran papa", and doestn't tat hurt and all the like.
And all I have said is that it is not the Diabetes that hurt that person, but that they did not know that they had "d" (T2 late DX) or that they were not making sure that their body was as heathy as it should be (T1 or T2 referrence), I then go on to explain that we ARE making sure her body is as healthy as it should be, by testing and CGMing and counting carbs and thinking about what is going on in her life.
Complications may still happen, and it may have nothing to do with D. But I am NOT going to instill a fear of complications in order to gain compliance in D care.
Take what I say with a grain of salt, as I have many years till the TEEN years.
I'm not entirely sure what I'll tell Jack when, so I have no real horse in this race. But I don't think people are trying to instill a fear of complications in their kids, exactly. I see it more as explaining why it's important that our kids take good care of themselves. Sometimes teen brains are not so good at connecting the dots. :cwds:
About four years back Tim was having his yearly eye exam. The look on his face when the doctor told him he needed glass said it all. When the doctor left the room, Tim says, "I don't want to go blind". I had never talked with him prior to that about complications. He obviously had done his own research. Of course the needing of glasses had nothing to do with D. Although, it was then we first talked about possible complications. It was also mentioned that not all people with D have complications. Discussion also included the importance of taking care of himself the best he could. Never once though, has it been said, if you don't take care of yourself this is what will or could happen.
I think it's important to remember, like you've mentioned Martha, that teenagers don't get all their information from parents. Whether or not there's a discussion in the home, teenagers are going to find accurate or inaccurate information from other sources. Chances are there's a great deal of fear already - expressed verbally or not.
I'm hoping it wasn't intended on your part, but this post could be interpreted as implying that some of us parents of teens would "instill a fear of complications in order to gain compliance in D care".
I think you may have mistaken the thinking behind our posts if that is where you think we're coming from.
From my perspective, the only reason I'll be telling my teen about complications is because I think it's better she hears it from me in a supportive and calm setting than from a random stranger at some random time.
As a PWD dx'd at 14---it's a lot better to hear these things from your mom than everyone else. Because people WILL say stuff. When you explain them, you can tell him that all of these things don't happen to every PWD. When others talk to him, they use the direct correlation approach: Grandpa went blind/died from diabetes, you will too. It's important for him to understand that this isn't always the case, but it is a possibility. Richard157 wrote a book about living with Type 1 for a very long time, which could be a positive way to look at it.
On a side note, I have had glasses WAYYY longer than Type 1, and my prescription hasn't changed since dx. For young children, having to have glasses can just be part of the growth process. If we got rid of contacts for a day, I think people would be amazed at JUST HOW MANY people actually need vision correction. And most of them do NOT have diabetes.
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