My 11 year old was diagnosed 3 weeks ago. I'm a nurse, so I immediately knew what the diagnosis meant, I ran out of the dr.s office & bawled. He was admitted to the hospital & I guess I was still in denial, because I kept wanting to ask when they would do testing to confirm the pediatrician's diagnosis. I kept thinking there has to be something else this could be. In the hospital I was envious of the family in the next room, their toddler was undergoing surgery the next day for an obstructed bowel. I kept thinking, it's just not fair, they get to have surgery & be done with this. My sons life is changed forever. The next day as I picked up his glucometer from the hospital pharmacy tears streamed down my face. I kept wanting to shout at everyone, "I shouldn't be here! I shouldn't be picking this up! This has to be a mistake." My well-intentioned friends kept telling me it could be so much worse, I just smiled & thanked them thinking to myself that it was worse. It was worse than my son deserved, it was worse than before he was diagnosed, it just was worse. It has been 3 weeks now & just when I think I'm doing ok, I'll begin crying over something inconsequential. When I see his dot-ridden stomach from the shots, when I see the bruises on his fingers, when I have to tell him no to a glass of apple juice (his favorite drink). So my question is, when will I be better?