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What would you do?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by motherof2, Nov 8, 2010.

  1. motherof2

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    I have been reading this forum everyday and have finally decided to post and I am hoping that someone will be able to help us. My 12 year old was diagnosed just over a year ago and it has been like others - very up and down. We are currently on shots of lantus and novo rapid. My problem is that he is eating anything he likes and then only giving some insulin or none at all at school. Consequently he has been running high and his last HBIC was 9.2. I don't know how to get through to him that at school he must test and give insulin for everything he eats. I have spoken to his teacher and she has assured me that she will check but it seems as though he tells her a number and it is being made up. I am so frustrated and angry. Last night I checked him every 3 hours and then today he did not test from 6.30 am until he got home at 5.30 pm. It is not safe but how do I get it through to him. He has been to the psychologist but will not even talk to her. He is really sporty and knows how to manage his levels but just doesn't seem to do it. I hate Diabetes :( What would you do if you were me? I have taken his ipod, no television or computer for the week. Will it work? Sorry for the vent but I just thought that someone may have some idea:confused:
     
  2. lauraqofu

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    Is there any way that the school nurse can test him before snack and lunch and PE? Failing that, can you go to the school yourself? Has he had a discussion with his endo about the complications of ignoring d care?
     
  3. motherof2

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    We are in New Zealand and we don't have school nurses. I could go to school but he would hate that - maybe that is a good plan. Everytime I mention something like that he promises to do it better and does for a week or so and then we are back to this rubbish. I might even just need to go once. The endo is great but does not come down hard on him even when I ask her to. I think that she thinks that I am overreacting.
     
  4. MamaC

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    I think even at age 12 he might respond to a system that rewards positive D habits, rather than one that punishes shabby habits.

    (Plus I always found that restrictions hurt me more than they made an impression on my kids.)
     
  5. Lize

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    Do you consider changing to the pump? Sounds like he will do better on it that the injections.
     
  6. Heather(CA)

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    If he were my son I would MAKE him go to the nurse/health clerk to test at lunch and give insulin. I would have the teacher send him to the nurse any time she sees him with food. He is showing you that he is not capable of taking care of himself at this time so I would have the school do it for him.

    He might hate it, so after some time I would give him the opportunity to earn back his freedom, but if he blows it...back to the nurse.;):cwds:

    I would say something like..."I love you way to much to allow you to not take care of yourself, so you WILL be testing and giving insulin in the nurse's office until you show me you are ready to handle it yourself" The school is ultimately responsible for your son when he is there, if he doesn't show up then they need to find him and take care of it. I think this will work:cwds:

    I JUST read your post about not having a nurse, do you have a health clerk? Who give out meds? Just about anyone can be trained to know what to do, they can even call you for instructions if necessary..
     
  7. kiwiliz

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    I am sure it will work! Just be consistent -don't give in. If you have to "up" the stakes. If he is normal he will try whingeing, shouting, being sullen, hating you (though not really).. just be prepared. Don't respond emotionally (even though you feel like it) LOL. Compliance, in the case of treating diabetes, is non negotiable, for their sakes. They don't really care about diabetes till later, it is only us parents who do. I always try and make it not worth their while to ignore the important stuff - phones, nights out, sleepovers etc.

    You are doing fine. Just keep doing it.:)
     
  8. sbsmith1804

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    Sadly enough my son was dxd. probably around the same time or few months sooner. Granted he's only 10, but I too was going through the same as you about 4 months ago. He wasn't checking and shooting his insulin after school or after supper....which happens to be a big snacking time for him! After telling his endo. twice that he just won't do it. I've disciplined him as well. This last endo. appt. he finally told my son, I think we have no choice but to put you on the pump to try to help you get control those hrs. of the day. Plus they finally did some blood work for the first time after his dxd. I think it brought to light that there are consequences eventually, but that could be sooner rather than later. He has since done better (not perfect) but better since all of this and WE START PUMPING on World Diabetes Day!
    Put your chin up, march into that school at the time he might have to check and shoot and watch him do it, call him out in front of the dr. next time! Know you aren't alone and your frustration is felt here too!!! Hugs!
     
  9. Jessica L

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    In my family weather is D autism or epilepsy they still have to live by the rules. They have responsibilities and if they are not keeping up there end then they get into trouble. If Riley started doing that my but would be at the school sitting next to her through each class and lunch. Then give her one chance to prove to me I dont need to do it daily.
     
  10. JeremysDad

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    I second that. My 14 year old also hated MDI and there was many occasions where he checked his blood 2 times a day instead of when he should have; before each meal and before going to bed. While he has only been pumping for 1 week, it has made a difference, at least up to this point. It's ease-of-use has made his D-life a lot easier so perhaps that would be the way to go in your situation.
     
  11. AlisonKS

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    this was happening to a local mom and she had the school call him into the office during class to test and take care of his diabetes. Remember when your teacher would get a note that so and so has to go to the office and everyone would say "ooohhhhhhh!"? he got real sick of that and took care of himself.
     
  12. denise3099

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    Believe me, I am generally a jerk and hard-a$$ when it comes to my kids. :eek: If you see someone with kids screaming at the mall and mom ignoring these screams as she drags them store to store to try on winter coats, that would be me.

    But, and this one was hard for me, D is different! Sorry, I know lots of folks say that consistent punishment works, but I have not found that to be the case. You need to find out WHY he is not testing and dosing, and address THAT. Does he forget? Is he embarrassed? Is there no clean place to do so? Does he need more privacy? Is he sick of shots? Are his friends teasing him? Does he not have a cool way of transporting his D supplies without firends calling it his purse?

    There are a million reasons why ppl stop intense D management, from burnout to insurance lapses to lost supplies to boredom. You need to find out why this is happening in order to address it and make him excited to take care of himself. I personally find accessories keep out interest going. New skins and gadgets help give us something to look forward to. Find out what the problem is. He may need a pump, or new bag, or new thinner needles, or pens, or a new tester, or easier lancet, etc.

    I also recommend this book: 487 Really Cool Tips for Kids with Diabetes - Paperback (Aug. 1, 2004) by Bo Loy and Spike Loy
    Buy new: $14.95 $10.17

    It's written by two young brothers and is super positive and upbeat. And finally, please don't harp on com;ications--it won't help.
     
  13. StillMamamia

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    This!

    Positive reinforcement instead of punishment. I honestly don't think you can go far with punishing a kid who is dealing with a chronic disease. They have their whole life to step up and be responsible. If we can guide them in a positive way while we can (and they still are able to accept it), then I think that's the way to go.
     
  14. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    At 12, just a year in, and on shots, I'd suggest providing more structure and minimizing self-management over punishment.
     
  15. Heather(CA)

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    I am not knocking pumps, we are on one now to and are happy most of the time. It may help because it's not an extra poke and his not giving an extra shot is the problem But, Seth forgets to bolus on the pump, he never almost never forgot on shots. It's his age I'm sure, not that either shots or the pump are better. He's not doing it on purpose, he's just forgets. The pump is not a cure all is what I'm trying to say:cwds:
     
  16. rebesser

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    I know you are feeling frustrated but I would strongly discourage you from taking your sons ipod, banning television etc. He didn't ask to have diabetes, and you are punishing him for it. He may even resent you for it. The key will be to try to find out why he doesn't test - he may be denying his diabetes, or not wanting his friends at school to know, being forgetful, he may have diabetes burnout, or afraid of seeing a high blood sugar result. There will be a reason, and finding it out may be part of the solution.

    Has your son ever met anyone else with diabetes? Often children can only open up to someone else who has Type 1. Finding a positive role model who has type 1 - in another child, or an adult can help. Are you in the USA? - maybe someone on the site can suggest some local young peoples groups or camps.

    I am a paediatrician with Type 1. I often find that encouraging children with what they enjoy and are good at really helps - if he is into sport, if you can encourage that, he may start to feel motivated to want to check his blood sugars, when he learns that you can perform better on the football pitch if your sugars are better controlled. Often that is a good motivation. Having diabetes, knowing that it is forever, is often not enough motivation to look after your diabetes. Forever is a long time.

    there are some well-known sportspeople with diabetes your son may want to google, such as Gary Mabbott, Steve Redgrave.

    Parents have the hardest job of all.

    Hang on there!

    I hope this helps.

    Best wishes,

    Rachel
     
  17. sugarmonkey

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    I've been dealing with this with my son for a while. He's got a bit better. He at least remembers to give insulin for his food now. The testing is still mostly forgotten.
    I now text him at morning tea and lunch and remind him to test. If he doesn't reply in five minutes I ring him. I got permission from the school for him to have his phone. I have threatened to go to school if he forgets insulin again. And he knows I will. I reward him with computer time for every test he remembers. It's a bit hit and miss but we're getting there.

    Just a note to those who suggested pumps: the OP is in NZ. Pumps aren't easily available here. Most of the time you have to pay for the pump and all supplies out of pocket, so it's very expensive. It may not be an option for this poster.
     
  18. wilf

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    What about covering school time carbs with NPH, while sticking with the Lantus as his basal and the Novorapid for breakfast and supper (which you can hopefully supervise)?

    That way all he really has to do is remember to eat.. :cwds:
     
  19. kiwiliz

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    Very elegant idea! A 12yo is not going to forget food.:D
     
  20. motherof2

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    Hi, thank you so much for all your suggestions. You guys are truly amazing with your advice and knowledge. He did test twice today so that is an improvement. We have had a big chat and basically he doesn't seem to care if he is range or not :( So I have told him that he has tomorrow to sort it out or we will be at the school office asking to see him to check. I know it is not his fault but I am so frustrated ... Wilf or anyone else who can help quick question ( sorry my ignorance) but what is NPH because that sounds like it could be a winner.
     

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