When he was young and I was the main caregiver, his A1C was 6.6. We made a great team and communicated well. We never fought about his diabetes. I let go quite some time ago because he wanted to do things his way around the time he turned 17. I gave him his space. I stopped asking about his numbers. I stopped reminding him to bolus ahead of his meals. I handed the majority of night-time checks over to him. I thought I was doing all the right things by giving him his independence with his diabetes. Unfortunately, tragedy struck and both my parents died unexpectedly due to awful circumstances within months of each other last year. My son was very close to them. He and I have been going to counseling since, separately, to help us get through it. I thought he has been doing very well. We've both been in a better place about the loss of my parents. In the last month and a half, his attitude has been awful and he's been short-tempered and easily frustrated. At night, he stopped checking himself, so I started getting up to wake him because he was not waking up on his own. He ignores me and falls back to sleep. When I stay by his side to try to fully wake him, he snaps at me and gets angry. Three nights ago, at 2AM, he refused to get up and check his number. So I went ahead and did it while he got mad and griped at me. He was 46 with 2.0 units active. I hate to think what could have happened to him had I not checked. But still, overall, I have backed off and tried to let him work through his own things. I created opportunities to talk, to listen, and to show him our support and love. When none of this seemed to help him out of the trench he's been in, I suspected maybe his numbers may be roller coasting and thought he might not be feeling good, which might explain some of his foul moods. Tonight, I went through his meter and recorded the readings. I went back 15 days. He has only been testing 1-2 times a day, and those numbers were in the 200-400 range. Next, I went into his insulin pump and recorded his bolus history. I could only go backwards 5 days, but in those 5 days, he repeatedly plugged in false BG numbers (he went with 100 and 120) and bolused off of those. (That explains all the highs I found on his meter). Yesterday, he went from 8AM to 11:30PM without testing his BG once. Same thing today. This means he has been getting incorrect insulin doses. It means he has had highs that he never received corrections for. It means he has not been checking for ketones. It means he's been driving without testing his BG first. He has been told repeatedly by his Endo to start bolusing before meals, yet, he still continues to bolus after. He refuses to wear a CGM. He refuses to write his numbers down. He's not rotating his pump sites as directed by his Endo. His A1C is in the high 8's and won't come down. I took away his car keys until further notice. I dug up the clipboard and the BG log sheets which are now on the kitchen counter, next to his meter. EVERYTHING is going to be written down, even if I have to do it. I cleaned out his diabetes draw, his bag, and the cupboard and got everything organized. He had everything in shambles with expired strips and expired insulin all mixed in with the good stuff. I reminded him of the danger he is putting himself in by not testing and by bolusing off of false BG's. My husband has offered many pep talks and encouragement. What else do I do? He will not pick up the ball, but he lashes out at us if we try to help him. He obviously is not up for doing it on his own, yet, he gets angry when we step in to help or remind him. I am at my wits end.