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Type 3s? Uncooperative siblings of D's

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Stanca, Feb 1, 2010.

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  1. Stanca

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    Anyone out there having troubles with siblings of newly dx'd? Oddly enough, the one person having the hardest time with this is our middle daughter...won't participate in our family discussions (a jar filled filled with open ended questions given to us by the Social Worker at the Children's Diabetes center). Is constantly grumpy (but she was already, so maybe it's not correct to post this). Any help out there for that? I heard that siblings of D kids are called type 3s, meaning that they don't have the disease but must live with it. I've tried taking her on one-on-one outings, just for her, to the mall, to get coffee, have "sleep overs" with her in her room, etc...but nothing seems to help.
     
  2. Becky Stevens mom

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    Im not sure how old your daughter is or your child with diabetes. When Steven was diagnosed he was 3 his brother was 6. His brothers biggest problem was fear. Fear of getting diabetes and fear of the unknown, what was wrong with his brother? how did it happen? I think you are doing the right thing in letting her know how special she is still and always will be. Siblings feel that everything has changed in their lives too and often feel neglected because of the need to learn about diabetes and the time it takes in caring for the CWD. After awhile it will all become routine and she can be part of that. Let her know that diabetes is a family disease, the whole family shares in the child with diabetes disease as they all share in the joys of being a family
     
  3. Stanca

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    My d-daughter is 8, my non-d is 12. I also have a 19 yr old son. She does fear diabetes, of getting it herself. We tested her blood today, just to ease her fears. Thanks for your support. Twelve yr old girls are a tough crowd without diabetes.
     
  4. sisterbeth43

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    Part of the grumpiness and not wanting to take part in family discussions may be her age. I raised 6 girls thru that age and they pretty much took turns being like that. Good luck to you.
     
  5. Denise

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    Chiming in w/ the whole "12 yr old" thing. I have three daughters.. 14, 12 and almost 10. My 10 yr old is the D child. The attitude is typical of 12 yr old girls unfortunately. It's not easy when you add D to the mix. Keep talking to her and keep the lines open. Doing things one on one is also a good idea.
     
  6. lisanc

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    My daughter was 7 when diagnosed and has a twin brother, both are 8 now, and we also had some issues with her brother. When I sat with him, he opened up that he felt left out as she received so much attention with the diagnosis and spent more time with mom with the shots and all.

    I think you are doing a great job giving your non-d daughter one on one time as well ... that can be very difficult with a new diagnosis.

    My son eventually settled down ... but for quite a while we heard "oh, she gets everything because SHE is diabetic" ... one thing that helped was letting him learn about diabetes and how to help her - but maybe because he is a "twin" and they are very close. He even let her give him a shot, not of insulin of course, to let him know what it felt like.:p

    So we had the same issue too ... but it died down.
     
  7. frizzyrazzy

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    ah yes,
    My now 16 year old was 12 when her brother (then 5) was dx. It was a lovely time. LOL not. I think you're dealing with all the normal 12 year old crap (the world revolves around them, donchaknow) and then so when you add in a sibling with a new dx that really NEEDS your full attention, things can be tricky. One thing we decided, seeing how 2nd place she felt (and still sometimes feels) was that we were very careful about not pressing her into "caregiver' service. Yes, it would be nice to have that built in babysitter but we're very clear now on who's job this diabetes stuff is.

    And..this too shall pass.
     
  8. Stanca

    Stanca Approved members

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    Type 3

    Thanks to everyone for your posts. I will try to keep in mind that I am dealing with 12 yr old "crap." I guess I did kind of figure that is was all part and parcel of the hormonal thing...
    I'm so glad I found this website. It is a wealth of information and great for posting questions.
    Thanks to all!
     
  9. frizzyrazzy

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    oh by the way, I'm just reading your blog - it's bringing me to tears! Love the way you write.
    oh crap, I just got to santa in the hospital...tissues!!!
     
  10. Flutterby

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    My older daughter is almost 8, she has a very hard time with Kaylee, who is almost 7 and type 1.. she thinks that Kaylee gets everything special and that we love her more.. Its obviously not the case, but its how she feels.. we acknowledge that and try to explain.
     
  11. Julie mom of Jack 6 dxd 3

    Julie mom of Jack 6 dxd 3 Approved members

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    Our middle child struggles with feeling left out too. Not sure how to fix it but I worry she will have anger issues. We try to make special time for her but with life that can be hard:cwds:
     

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