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Trying to explain D and people tune out..?

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by BCmom, Sep 12, 2010.

  1. BCmom

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    I don't talk about D unless someone asks, but if Em is invited to stay at someones home I need to tell the parent what to do.

    Last night Em was supposed to spend the night at a friends that she had not stayed at before. But she has had two lows the last week (first ones since she started levemere at the beginning of summer) at night. So the mom (who I do not know well) wanted to know all about what to do etc because she knew nothing about TYpe 1 and has no medical background etc. So I started the most basic of explanations, I was barely into it and I could see I already had lost her attention, and another mother entered and started to talk to her about their yoga!. That was the end of the conversation with me. She then quickly turned back to me and said "It's OK I know what to do now." And continued talking about yoga. I had barely explained a thing to her.

    I didn't know what to do.

    I could have cut back Ems insulin and asked Em to eat more and have her run high all night and feel lousy or ask her not to stay. I told Em in private and she opted to come home because she hates being high.

    But I am getting so discouraged having to explain D to others. What do you do? I feel like just handing them a piece of paper and asking them to read it.
     
  2. fredntan2

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    I think it just maybe too much info for them

    Sara's BFF mom is also a nurse and she practically lives there.
    she has gone to other friends houses that weren't nurses.

    Even if she's at her BFF's house I don't expect her to do anything with pump or to check her.
    I think when she went to the other friends house I just made sure the mom knew she had D and had my numbers. I have Sara txt me bs's boluses that night.

    sara always feels her lows and is able to self treat, even at night
     
  3. timsma

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    It was about the same age that your daughter is now, that I just had Tim text me or call me with numbers. He was okay at carb counting for the most part. We did run him a bit higher to reduce the chances of a low. If I had any doubt at his bedtime number, I'd have him eat a bit or just call him during the night to do a check. I kept the parents out of it for the most part, cuz I knew they wouldn't 'get it' anyway and didn't want them to start excluding Tim from the sleepovers. Luckily (sort of?!?!) for the past couple years, the kids have all preferred sleep overs at our house, so it hasn't been an issue.
     
  4. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I say, "she has to call me before dinner and if I don't get my before bed text I'll be calling your house an an ungodly hour, so please, remind her to text me, thanks!" ;)

    In other words I don't ask the sleepover parents to check her bg, look at her pump, get trained on glucagon. By 12, I think most kids just manage on their own or rely on the phone for guidance from home.
     
  5. hawkeyegirl

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    I think it's almost impossible to train someone to do much of anything in a few minutes. I agree that you're probably better off maintaining phone communication with your daughter, and deciding what to do based on the bedtime number.
     
  6. PatriciaMidwest

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    I don't ask parents to do anything D related. My daughter and I handle things via texting. Sleepovers often seem to include pizza too so that can be a challenge. I also send juice and snacks with my DD.

    If things seem way out of whack, I would rather pick her up than expect another parent to remember what to do. Half sleep overs work great when you are worried about lows.
     
  7. bgallini

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    Alex was too old for sleepovers by the time he was dx but I did say things like 'he knows how to take care of everything but if he says he's low or is acting really weird, he needs some type of sugar or carbs' to people like his soccer coach.

    That might be something short and simple you can say to a sleepover parent. The real concern (for me) would be her going low and not being able to treat herself. For other things she can call you and ask advice.
     
  8. BCmom

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    I guess I didn't explain myself well. Em can do everything for herself. She uses injections (not the pump). But Sometimes she has a low at night and she wakes up so low that she can't treat herself. When that happens she needs help. That is what I tried to explain and was tuned out. I get the, "she looks perfectly fine to me" look. I am then told I worry too much. Do I?
     
  9. bgallini

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    No, I don't think you worry too much. It's hard to comment on the actual conversation w/o knowing exactly what was said. I was just trying to give an example of something you could say in one sentence. And I think the others were trying to give similar advice based on how they handle sleepover type situations.
     
  10. Omo2three

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    I usually ask Amb to test and text me. Then to slightly reduce her insulin overnight.
    She can feel her lows and I think she can manage very well on her own. Besides they rarely sleep at slumber parties.
    I do tell the sleep-over Mom she is type 1 diabetic and that I have my phone on and if she is ever concerned to call me any time day or night. If she has any questions...and one asked if she needed special foods...and I said not really, she just takes insulin to cover the carbs eaten.

    I usually pack a small cooler w juice and gogurt enough to share...so she can easily get her sugar fix for hypoglycemic reactions.
     
  11. PatriciaMidwest

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    I run my daughter higher for sleepovers. Sometimes that doesn't work like we want it to. If we are having weird lows, or if I am worried about hypo unawareness then I pick her up at midnight or so (half sleepover). Sometimes I'll have the child sleep at our house instead.

    That's just how we handle it...I don't feel comfortable asking people or relying on people to treat my child's lows in the night.
     
  12. Jensmami

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    That's exactly how we are doing it!
     
  13. BCmom

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    Thanks everyone.

    I think I worry too much. I will just get her to eat more and run a bit high next time so it isn't an issue. I just work so hard to keep her BS on target that allowing some slack with the numbers seems weird now. I need to chill....
     
  14. GaPeach

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    I heard a similar comment at our JDRF meeting last night. She was talking about field trips, scout event and such (not a sleepover). The mom said that when the other party "tunes out", she looks at them and says - "If my child dies while with you, I am holding you personally responsible." That usually gets their undivided attention.

    Of course, in most settings that would not work. We sure do not want to allienate our child by scaring others away from overseeing them.
     
  15. Jensmami

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    IMHO, if you want to make your kid an outcast that is the perfect strategy to go. Honestly if you would tell me that (before my DD was diagnosed), I would not take your child for a longer period of time. I think saying she could pass out or have a seizure would be a good enough warning, and just inform them that you will run the kid higher, so this won't be an issue.

    I am really trying to manage my dd diabetes as good as I can, and she is doing pretty well. But in certain situation I think you just have to compromise in order for the kid to be able to have a "normal" childhood.
     
  16. PatriciaMidwest

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    You're not worrying too much. Sleepovers weren't a big issue until my DD was 12 and her numbers started doing weird things with puberty -- so I really relate to where you are at.

    I do tell new parents that my child is a Type 1 (most know from their child) and reassure them that I'm helping her manage things via texting. I also tell them if something seems "off" with her blood sugar I will swing by and pick her up. This way they know about her situation, but they also know I am taking responsible for it, and not expecting them to get involved. I think it takes the pressure off.

    Most don't ask anything more...we just start talking about the weather after that :)
     
  17. BCmom

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    Thanks everyone!
    She has had D for a 1.5 years now and is asking to attend more sleep overs etc, now that she is used to it all. So I am having to deal with it more now. Today she was invited to a BD party away at the childs cabin on island. She will not be accessible. But I will assign her more carbs at bed. Hopefully, this will be balanced by the etc activity but if not being highis better than low. All the kids are cranky on the morning after a sleep over anyways...
     
  18. madde

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    And remember kids stay up til around 1 or 2 in the morning, which will give your daughter the opportunity to do a night time bs check. :cwds:
     

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