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Too much "concern" ???

Discussion in 'Siblings and Friends' started by Ronin1966, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. Ronin1966

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    Siblings, friends here will be far more sensitive, aware regarding the questions they ask the diabetic(s) in their lives... I would certainly think?

    But I have been diabetic my entire life, because of that truth there are many friends, family who have "shared experiences" with me shall we say, experiences which I would gladly eliminate from existance if I had the ability.

    My question for sibling, friends of diabetics....

    Is there a line you will not cross? Are there questions you will not ask your diabetic(s)? Or do you feel because you are a friend, our relative and had similar unpleasant experiences with them that it is "permitted", or perhaps necessary even to ask the "hard" questions of us....

    Perhaps it is the "are you low" mantra? Perhaps it is awareness we are getting our heads handed to us because you see it in our eyes, or perceive it in our actions...

    Whatever the reason do you believe it is possible for "concern", questions to be excessive, (and though perhaps even quite understandable) be a ~poison~ to the diabetic spirit?


    Thoughts anyone...:eek:
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2010
  2. Ronin1966

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    Bump.........................
     
  3. kimmcannally

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    My son is T1 and there are questions I won't ask him because he blows up if I do - "what did you eat?" when he is high is one of them. (if I've been out of the house and come back to find he has high BG). If he was not special needs I would ask anything I felt I needed to ask. But I have to tread lightly with him.

    My daughter's best friend is also T1 and I wish I *could* ask her what she is doing, allowing herself to have as many highs as she does. But it is none of my business and she has had T1 since she was 4. Her treatment is between her, her Dr. and her parents.

    Her Mom did express some concern the other day about her pumping vs. using lantus and I mentioned the untethered "protocol" about using Lantus and a pump. Don't know if they will look into it or not, but it might just help her. Her mom is a nurse, so I'm sure they are aware of what they are risking by her having lots of high BG's.
     
  4. Ronin1966

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    Hello kimm:

    Thank you for taking part! I have some familiarity with ODD, but am not well versed on the nuances/subtlities of it. How do you account for the
    "explosives" when you ask these types of diabetes questions?

    There merit to them or it entirely bad horemones/brain chemistry? Can there be a point regardless of someones assorted label(s), we have to act or ask regardless (ie explainations are irrelevent, action is mandatory) ?

    As the mother of a diabetic, you ARE allowed to ask us, and if your daughters girlfriend wants to answer you she will. But, as a diabetic a long time I have several perfectly plausible explainations why someone would stay and happily be "higher".

    <<the untethered "protocol" about using Lantus and a pump.

    Not familiar with that, why on earth would anybody use lantus in their pump? :eek: Do I misunderstand your terms?

    Your concern re: "highs" and their long term effects are... understandable, but rigid/zealous control is far more dangerous, in the immediate term. The DCCT spoke elliquently about that problem. Too tight in our control and we crash and burn...

    Look forward to leraning more about ODD, lantus, whatever you care to share.
     
  5. kimmcannally

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    Hi Stuart,
    Untethered means using Levemir (in our case) as basal, having the basal on the pump turned off and using the pump only to bolus and keep track of his boluses, BG, etc. It's working well for us.

    Explosions - due entirely to ODD. I don't ask "what did you eat?" in a confrontational way at all, merely questioning. In a very calm, soothing voice to boot.

    I definitely act in getting his highs corrected, I just don't ask if he has eaten anything while I'm out. After all, it doesn't matter why he is high, just that I get him into normal range.

    I would not consider us to be using "rigid control" - I try my best to keep him in range - that is what the range is for. If it was ok for him to be over 200 for days on end, they would not tell me to try to keep him between 90 and 130. DS has the type of personality that IF he ever moves out and supports himself (and I have my doubts he will be able to do that) he will do whatever he ding-dangity pleases about his D. As an adult, that will be his choice. While he is a child under my roof, I'll keep his D controlled as tightly as I can.

    He has no problems feeling lows so I don't believe we have any danger right now of seizures, etc from lows.
     
  6. Charmed7

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    Hi Stuart & Kim,

    Wanted to jump in on a few slightly off topic comments. First, my Diabetic son is 11 with Bipolar Disorder; and my non-diabetic daughter is going on 5. The other day at the breakfast table my son mumbles, "You're so lucky." My daughter asks me why he said that and I shrugged. She said, "It's because I don't have to take shots." I said, "Probably." Then my son's mood lifted a little. I think because we recognized that, yes, she is lucky that she doesn't have to test sugars and take shots that maybe he isn't so crazy for feeling a little resentment. I try to keep diabetes an open conversation, and let my son lead any discussions.

    On my other thought, I can't ask my son "What did you eat" when he's high either. I pretty much hold my tongue and correct the sugar. My husband is not so talented and he just says "He must have eaten something." It is what it is, but it isn't worth an explosion of sorts.

    And my final, unorganized thought, I think a few of the worse "crossing of the line" conversation I ever witnessed was an adult looking at my son at around age 6 and telling him he better take care of his blood sugars or he'll lose his eye sight or a limb...that went a little far. And my mom announcing at the dinner table that she just met a Vegan who is cured of diabetes while my son listened in. Oh! And the neighbor that started lecturing me about how all illnesses, including Type I diabetes, could be cured by eating an akaline diet and it's my fault my son is sick; while my son was standing there in shock. Yes, those conversations I could do without. I think any adult conversation either about a cure or about the horrible consequences of uncontrolled diabetes while my son is present is not acceptable. He just can't process that kind of information and make sense of it. It just leaves him confused and angry and scared.

    Ok- those are my lunch hour ramblings. Have a wonderful day

    C7
     
  7. kimmcannally

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    At last - someone who can really understand what it's like to be in my shoes :) Nice to meet you.
     
  8. Charmed7

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    I know! Right! Though I wish our children don't have to deal with any of this, it's definately rare to come across another mom, with these challenges.

    Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.

    Do you find your son has any anxieties about his diabetes? My son will "feel" low and will check his sugar. If it's in target, he starts to check every 5-10 minutes, convinced there is something wrong with the tester and that his sugar is going to drop out any minute.

    Have a good day!
    C7
     
  9. kimmcannally

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    When he was first dx, he was much more anxious about his BG level. He wanted to be tested a LOT and would insist on doing it NOW!! He was on buspar to help with anxiety and had to come off the risperdal he was on because it's been linked to type 2 diabetes and can cause high BG. The buspar can cause low BG!

    So we have slowly gotten him back on the buspar, and he was switched to Trileptal instead of Risperdal. It seems to help with the anxiety. He is still pretty aggressive from time to time :(

    He's actually gotten laid back enough about the BG that if he is low we treat and then as long as he feels ok, we don't re-check. He is very accurate about feeling lows. Sometimes he feels low and is actually high, but I don't think he's ever been low without knowing it.

    At first, he did want to test every 10 minutes or so if he was low but thank God he's never felt the tester was wrong! Whew! :eek:
    Feel free to pm me anytime :)
     

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