This does sound like he has severe depression. People get in a downward spiral and get tunnel vision, they only see themselves. I do not excuse it -- whatever your medical condition, you have an obligation to your family not to lay the burden of it on them when it can be helped. But I do think you should definitely do some counseling yourself and I would suggest you talk to his doctor. I'm not a fan of antidepressants as the first rung in treatment, but if he is so far gone that he will not do counseling or even discuss his options, maybe it's time the doctor just wrote a prescription.