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Teens and night testing - responsibility?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by kiwimum, Aug 13, 2010.

  1. kiwimum

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    Recently we have had a few people pass comment on the fact that DH and I do the night time testing for Tyler. (Bear in mind, these people are ignorant of D although one is a medic).
    They told us that at 14, Tyler should be responsible for testing himself every two hours on those nights when D is not playing fair. He does wake and deal with his lows himself during the night, but we do the all night stuff.
    DH and I have discussed this and decided that as long as Tyler has to live with D for the rest of his life, if we can take some of the burden while he is living at home, then we are happy to do so.
    And the next 3 yrs of his schooling involves major exams that will enable him to go to university to pursue the career of his choice. So our thinking is that it is not fair to expect him to be up all through the night AND go to school and get the results we or he expects.

    Are we wrong? :confused:
     
  2. StillMamamia

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    No, you're not wrong. He has his whole life to deal with D himself. (like you said)

    Tell them to mind their beans.
     
  3. jdr

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    I also feel this way. Our son is 15 and I just have the feeling that I don't want him to have to battle this by himself right now. I feel I need to do what I can. I don't want him to feel like he is dealing with this all on his on.:(
     
  4. Lee

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    Coco's dad makes her set her alarm and test her self every now and then. I 100% disagree with this. She is a kid and therefore needs her sleep for growth and development and good grades. We are grown-ups, and life sucks, and we deal - therefore we are more then capable of dealing with this sucky side of things.

    Although, I do have to say, that the CGMS, when she wears it, makes a world of difference with night testing!
     
  5. HBMom

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    My DS is 14 and I take care of all the night time testing. I don't know how he would function in school, etc if he had to get up even once a night! As the others said, he will have to do it himself soon enough.
     
  6. kiwimum

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    Thanks guys! Exactly what we thought!

    And Paula, we do tell them to mind their own beans, and sometimes not so politely!:D
     
  7. MissEmi

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    Hi, my name is Emily. I'm 18 years old and just started doing my own night testing about a month ago.
     
  8. Deannas mom

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    My daughter is 14...and a half...if I dont put in the half she gets upset..lol..I always do the nighttime testing..there are times when she has woke up from a low and fixes it herself, but she still will come to me ...wake me up and say that she was low..this way she can go back to sleep and know that I will go in and re-test her..
    I also feel that as long as she is living with us, I have no problem doing the night stuff..she will have the rest of her life to have to do it all herself...she should be able to have my help for as long as she needs it
     
  9. Heather(CA)

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    NO you are NOT wrong! No offense if their your friends but I would like to tell them where to put their opinion. ;)

    This summer Seth did stay up and do some of his night testing, but that's because he was a teen wanting to stay up late. During school...Absolutely not. :cwds:
     
  10. Heather(CA)

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    So does Seth's dad, it makes me furious:mad:
     
  11. Connie(BC)Type 1

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    I never test at night, I try to get a full nights sleep, all 5 or 6 hours of it! :D
     
  12. Mike&Dans.Mom

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    No you're not wrong. Your friends need to MYOB! In fact if I had friends that said that I would ask them what planet they were from;) Where do they get off thinking they know what is the best thing for your son?:mad: You are a parent that is doing the best thing for your kid. If you had a child with asthma that was bothering them you wouldn't go to bed and tell them to deal with it, so why would you do that with a child with diabetes?

    Maybe I sound a tad bit angry, but it really irks me that people think they have a clue what this disease is all about. Next time they question you I would straight out ask them why they think that they know what is better for your family!
     
  13. kiwimum

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    No offense Heather - they are not friends, just people that know us to say hello and that's about it. Usually they ask why we look like a bag of sh*t and when we tell them about night testing, stress of living with D (you know the drill), the thing about making him more responsible is their response.
    It does anger us that people think it's ok to tell us what we should be doing when they have no idea of D and it's impact and I guess it goes back to ignorance of D.

    I just wanted to confirm that we weren't so wrong in our thinking.....:)
     
  14. kiwimum

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    Thank you! My feelings and thoughts exactly. Luckily they are not friends, who I would expect better behaviour from. These are people who just happen to work on the same military base as my husband and who know Tyler has D.
    Still doesn't make it right. DH has bitten a few of their heads off and then gone on to scare them with the reality of would could happen if we left it up to him....that soon shuts them up.
    I guess like most people who know no better, they think D is no big deal - and it is!
     
  15. momof2here

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    You are absolutely right to ease the burden and do the middle of the night testing on behalf of your child - absolutely. I wil help my son with this as long as he lives in my house and then I will do whatever I can, throughout his life, to ease his burdens. It is a heavy cross to carry in a lot of ways and anything that makes it more 'user friendly' is going to help him to see it in a more positive light.

    People who give their input like that are so unfamiliar with the real world of diabetes type 1 and how it impacts the lives of those living with it. I know they assume that it is a 'just watch what you eat' ailment and it would take far too much time to try to get them to see it any differently. Put your energy toward your son and all will be well :)
     
  16. kiwiliz

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    You are a great Mum! This is such a burden - I can't imagine leaving a child to deal with this on their own! Mind their own beans - bang on!:D
     
  17. StillMamamia

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    Bold is mine - yeah, have those type too living very close to me. One of their usual comments is that if we had Ian's D under better control we wouldn't need to test at night.:rolleyes: Mind you, I'm not a diligent nighttime tester simply because I do not hear the alarm at all:eek:, but I do stay up often very late waiting to test. To have someone undermine your choices/actions can be very belittling.:(
     
  18. VinceysMom

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    I absolutely HATE when people say, "he should be doing" this or that himself/herself... Wow! Each child is an individual, no two children are the same... D or no D. When they are ready to handle certain situations on their own, I'm sure we will know. You should handle this the way you and your DH want to handle it and ignore the other comments... My family has a tendency to say the same, "he should be doing this".... why???? he has the rest of his life to do this!!! So i try not to even talk about any D stuff in front of them... Good luck, and do what you and your family are comfortable doing and what works for all of you...
     
  19. LJM

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    Debs, we feel the same as you. I think you are doing the right thing for the right reasons.
     
  20. Lucky 868

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    I get up with my son when he has to test at night. He sets his alarm and I set mine and he tests himself. He doesn't want me to come in during the night and poke him unexpectedly. He figures the poking would wake him up anyway. I get up with him as his backup in case he hits "snooze" and doesn't get up and test.

    My husband also thinks he should do the night tests himself. Although his attitude is also that our son doesn't need me to do most of the things I do for him. He's right in that our son does not "need" me to do those things; however, my son appreciates what I do and finds it supportive. I feel it's really between our son and I. When our son wants to take on different tasks himself, I'll certainly let him. In the meantime, I'm here for whatever he needs and wants. Soon enough it will be 100% on him and I'm in the camp that says "help them while they're home".

    Cyndy
     

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