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tears keep coming

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Pooh's Mom, Apr 4, 2012.

  1. Pooh's Mom

    Pooh's Mom Approved members

    Apr 4, 2012
    So it hasn't been even two weeks since my two year old was diagnosed with T I D. She is doing well even with a lot of lows. Honeymoon stage is stressful. To top it all off I am six month pregnant with our fourth child. It took about 12 days for the tears to start and I haven't stopped yet. Everyone asking if I am okay makes me cry. Looking at her sad eyes when it is time for insulin makes me cry and just thinking about everything makes me cry. I know it will stop but it sucks to cry so much. My husband tries but he is just not the mom.
    I am honestly tired of everyone thinking that she is broken and needs to be treated with "kid gloves". I also have a few friends that are nursing students and think that they have all the answers. One even says things that make me feel like I am not doing the right things. I am ready to tell her go jump in a lake.:p I only hope that I will have the courage to tell everyone thanks but you're not helping. How do you handle those that think they know how it is with a child with the D.
  2. Lize

    Lize Approved members

    Jul 14, 2010
    You have every right to cry! BUT - it really does get better. Hang in there:cwds:
  3. Connor's Mom

    Connor's Mom Approved members

    Nov 10, 2011
    Cry all you need to! Holding back doesn't help especially when you are expecting. Dealing with well meaning friend's can be difficult. You don't want to hurt their feeling because they think they are helping but, unless they have a T1 kiddo they have no idea what it is like. Even when they do have a type1 kiddo everyone is so different that sometimes friends or relatives can make you feel like what you are doing can't possibly be right. Try being patient with them. If they continue to push their good intentions on you let them know that while they are "in the medical field" what they learn in a book or on clinical rotations is only a small scratch in the surface of what you see everyday. Type 1 kids are special and while they can eat and do everything like other kids there is no cookie cutter way to treat their diagnosis. What works for one may not be right for your daughter. You are doing what your team suggests and that is where you will continue to take your advice from.

    If you like, you can let them know if they have any written information they would like to share with you that you will read it in your "spare time" :p.

    Hang in there. It's been 3 years for us and I just let tears fall yesterday because I was ill and couldn't do the middle of the night checks I usually do and my son ended up wetting through his good night (he's 10). In my gut I know he went high but, I can't beat myself up over it.
  4. zoomom456

    zoomom456 Approved members

    Jan 19, 2011
    You're not even 2 weeks out from diagnosis, of course you are crying! It is part of the grieving process and perfectly healthy. My son was diagnosed at 13 months and while he was such a trooper about insulin shots etc, I remember feeling horrible that I was always poking my baby boy. It does get better. If you are up to talking to people, tell them my daughter can do anything a child her age would normally do. Or direct them to this site, we are more than happy to discuss our sweet kids accomplishments:D You could also print off a list of successful Type 1's like Jay Cutler or Charlie Kimball.

    For some reason, the medical profession, including nursing students, thinks diabetes is something that is 100% controlled. Therefore I just say " our endocrinologist feels we have everything under control" and then change the subject. If it is a true friend, the kind you can say anything and everything to, then I will invite them to live a day as they advise. So far they have come back and not offered anymore well meaning hints. I am also to the point after 3 years that I sometimes just roll my eyes and chuckle.

    It really does get better, but with a baby on the way and a new diagnosis you must be tired and emotional, perfectly normal I would say;)
  5. Becky Stevens mom

    Becky Stevens mom Approved members

    Oct 14, 2008
    Oh you poor dear!:( You do have so much on your plate right now. Is there anyone besides your husband to pass on some of this burden? If people ask what they can do to help, tell them;) They can help with cleaning, laundry, food prep, etc, etc. For now youve come to the best place for support with the type 1 diagnosis. Many of us remember our young children being diagnosed with diabetes (mine was 3) and the struggle to learn about this disease having absolutely no experience with any of this. I had always hated getting shots or watching my kids get them before STeven was diagnosed. All of a sudden I had to give my little boy shots!:eek:

    For now, be gentle and patient with yourself. If someone makes you feel that youre not doing things right, dont just smile and let that go. Make sure those people know that you have a whole diabetes team supporting you right now. And dont hesitate to get help from that team. The endo doc, the nurse, the CDE (certified diabetes educator) They dont mind getting calls anytime day or night. And absolutely NO question is stupid, not for them and not for us.

    It does take time to adjust to this new way of life. Youre daughter will be fine, I promise:cwds: I know the shots are probably scary for her right now. Let us know if you need some ideas about making the injections easier on her or ideas for anything. For the most part, we've all gone through many of these issues in the past and may be able to help you and your husband with some of our experiences.

    And make sure you get as much rest as you can. I know that wont be easy but let people know that they can come watch your daughter in the afternoon so you can take a nice nap
  6. danielsmom

    danielsmom Approved members

    Jul 18, 2011
    The first week I literally did not want to get out of bed..I was so depressed.. I cried. The second week I was still crying and my husband asked "how long I was going to be this way?"..It hurt my feelings, I felt he was being insensitive, but it wasn't about me was it? I wasn't the one with the diagnosis... my son was..And Daniel wanted to play, swim, go places.. I had no choice but to get my ass moving.... and each new thing we survived.....8 months into this he is still honeymooning.... we have lows, we have highs....we have great days...and some dark days...I still cry, I pray...I hope...Today my son asked me, "mom do you enjoy giving me shots?" I answered, "no Daniel, I don't enjoy giving you pain, but I enjoy keeping you healthy and strong and for that I will do whatever it takes".. He replied, "thanks mom". Things will calm down, you will start to "get it"..your child will see the light too at the end of the tunnel. They really are so much more resilient and stronger than us. Not a day goes by I don't hurt for my son, but for now, I bake those brownies and get dressed to take them to his spring party where he will stuff his face with pizza, brownies, cookies and who the heck knows what else:p...I will count those carbs and pray we don't break the bank of BG later on....:rolleyes:

    As for others and their misunderstanding of this disease.. I never get tired of educating them... But thats me..
  7. 5kids4me

    5kids4me Approved members

    Sep 28, 2010
    It will be ok. Your son is stronger than you realize. So are you. You can do this. I promise.:cwds:

    Just take one day at a time.
  8. Pcanudosena

    Pcanudosena New Member

    Apr 2, 2012
    we understand perfectly what you are going through... it's time for cry, to grieve... but never forget, they are much more stronger than us and is for them that we alk this path- and we triumph! always! because there is no other option... and it could be worst!!!:)

  9. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    You know, even now, when someone willingly or unwillingly makes "I know it better" comments about D, I still cringe. It's SO annoying. In the beginning I tried to give a very detailed explanation about how things work, then I got tired, and also realized I probably annoyed many of them anyway (YAY!:p), then I stopped explaining. Now, I just smile and say I have to leave. It usually works in showing I have no interest in pursuing the convo on how the Amazonian parrot poop may have a beneficial effect on BGs.:rolleyes:

    This reminds me, I had someone tell me a couple of years ago how I should try homeopathy to restore insulin use. I finally got enough courage a couple of months ago to reply back.:eek:

    The crying is normal, totally normal. You will most likely go through stages. Allow yourself to go through them. If people ask, just say "Listen, I'm not ok right now. I just need some time, ok?" Your true friends and your family will normally understand that. The others, you may lose a few. It's how it is.

    And don't expect perfection. I know I keep repeating that on here, but truly, say that to yourself. Look at the BGs, find patterns, if any, discuss your thoughts with your endo team, and be proactive, and read, and ask.

    Hang in there. It's really tough all these emotions right now. They will resurface sometimes later on. It's normal. If it gets too much, ask for help, from your companion, friends, doctor.
  10. 2type1s

    2type1s Approved members

    Nov 23, 2008
    I feel ya! I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd when my middle was diagnosed. It was horrible and I cried a lot. But after a couple of weeks, well 4 weeks to the day, later, I gave birth to the most wonderful little bundle of joy. Now, when she was diagnosed 8 years later, that's when I really lost my marbles...for a couple of months. But now, even with 2 kids with D, it doesn't
    Rule our lives, and most days are great. both girls handle their care like little experts, and I'm so proud of them. Yes, we still have a few bad days, and yes diabetes still makes me mad, but most of the time it's just part of our life.
  11. Daddyto4

    Daddyto4 Approved members

    Apr 6, 2012
    Say "Thank you" then let it all flow out the other ear unrecognized- Like you probably did with your parents growing up (I know I did). Me, I do what my wife says, and she tells me what the doctor says. I recognize they mean well, but unless my wife agrees, I don?t care. (At this, the only piece I actually took back to her was advice from an instructor who advised some dietary changes to reduce highs and prevent lows.)
  12. TheFormerLantusFiend

    TheFormerLantusFiend Approved members

    Sep 10, 2006
    What I tell people who want to see my blood sugar or give me advice is that if they want to manage my blood sugar- by all means, they are welcome to take over my care. Otherwise, I get to call the shots.
  13. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    Great pun!:D
  14. steph

    steph Approved members

    May 1, 2012
    Hey Pooh's mom. People here know how you feel. My little girl will be 2 next month, and she was diagnosed just a few months ago. She cried with shots for the first few weeks, but now she wipes her own finger and pushes the button for finger sticks. I ask her where do you want your dose and she'll say belly or leg and lift her shirt with no tears. She amazes me and has made it so much easier for me to adapt to this new life of ours. Children are so resilient. Soon this will all get easier, but there is a grieving process involved and it is important that you give yourself permission to feel sad. While T1D isn't the end of the world it most definitely is life changing. Weeks go by when I don't think about it much other than calculating carbs and doses, and then there are weeks like this past one when her numbers are crazy and I cry to my husband that I don't want to be a pancreas anymore, I just want to be a mommy. My baby girl isn't stressed or sad, even though I sometimes am. She is still her usual happy self. The shots and pokes dont bug her anymore. I try to remember not to worry about what might be and just work with what is going on today. And today she is a smart, beautiful, healthy kid who just happens to also have diabetes.

    Also what helped me a lot was I made an info sheet about T1D and emailed it to family and friends. It really saved me having to answer the same annoying questions over and over like "will she grow out of it?" I can send it to you if you're interested. Many of them told me they really liked and appreciated it. I also included some fun facts about my daughter such as her obsession with shoes and great high five skills.
  15. Bigbluefrog

    Bigbluefrog Approved members

    Oct 1, 2010
    HUGS!!! Being pregnant and having young kids to care for is enough to make anyone's emotions rattled. Take one day at a time, and I am glad you found us. We have been there, I cried often the first few weeks, it is a grieving process.

    I sent a email out to my family and close friends explaining what it is and giving the basics.

    It helps with avoiding too many questions when your exhausted.
  16. kcolbertandco

    kcolbertandco New Member

    Aug 29, 2012
    It has been a while since your initial post, but I am new here. Your comment about people thinking they know everything struck a chord with me.
    My daughter (5) was only diagnosed a month ago. As you know, it is very hard to accept and the feelings you're dealing with are tremendous. My mother-in-law, who is a wonderful woman and means well, announced to me the other day as we were at the beach, watching my Gracie play in the water, "You know, Kim, you will see--she doesn't have Diabetes. They will find out pretty soon it is something else and she won't need that insulin. You will see." I wanted to shake her. My first thought was, "Well, I guess you won't be babysitting for her anytime soon!" It is enough to deal with our own denial at times, nevermind anyone else's!
    I know the tears are tough. Mine are still coming. I hope you are finding more peace and support as time goes on.

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