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Talk me down from the edge!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by lynn, Feb 19, 2009.

  1. lynn

    lynn Approved members

    Sep 2, 2006
    I'm not winning any mothering awards today.

    Last night I was so tired. (I get sick of saying that. I'm never just tired, I'm always "so" tired!) Anyway, I decided to stay up until midnight (instead of eleven) to check Nathan and then decide if I could let things go until morning. He was 189. I am not supposed to correct until over 200 overnight (even though I would like that dropped) so I decided to chance it that he was good.

    He woke me up this morning just as it was getting light by telling me that his stomach hurt and he thought he would throw up. I grabbed the meters: 450 with 2.4 ketones. That'll teach me to have the audacity to sleep!!!!

    We just passed our three year mark with diabetes and I have only spent three nights NOT checking him at least once. There is a cde at our office who always gives me a bit of a hard time about checking him each night. She has the opinion that if his basals are set right then he's good to go. This kid just can't have basals set right! He is different almost every night.

    Now he looks at me with his high-blood-sugar-with-ketones-eyes and I feel so guilty. I completely hate diabetes today.
  2. MichelleDeGoede

    MichelleDeGoede Approved members

    Feb 9, 2009
    It's not your fault, I wouldn't have corrected either. It's so hard to figure out from night to night what to do. Your doing a great job.
  3. Barbzzz

    Barbzzz Approved members

    Jul 5, 2008

    Lynn, I would "so" hate that look (as opposed to just plain hate ;)). I know it's impossible not to feel guilty -- I would, too -- but its a YDMV thing, isn't it? Audacity to sleep? Never. D-parents have earned that right! ((HUGS))
  4. Christopher

    Christopher Approved members

    Nov 20, 2007

    Hi and sorry you are going through this. I know it is easier said than done but try not to feel guilty. We have all done what you did. Depending on what his previous few numbers were, I would not have corrected the 189 either. Sure you could have stayed up and done more checks, but sometimes you take a chance and it doesn't always work out. I did the same thing you did a few nights ago. You need to take care of yourself too, and sleep is important (I know, for those who know me and are reading this I realize I am the pot calling the kettel black, shhhh :rolleyes:). To go from 189 to 450 is a big jump. I would guess something else is going on, like illness or maybe a problem with his pump?? As for the CDE, I hope they become a little more understanding and a little less judgemental. You need to do what feels right for you, and your child. Of course if his basals are set right things should be fine. And if you exactly match the insulin to the carbs then there should be no postprandial spike. But this is the real world. There are so many variables. And they should know that diabetes is an ever-changing illness and what works one night may not work the next. Anyway, I hope he feels better....:cwds:

    Oh, and step....away.......from....the....edge.......:D
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2009
  5. betty6333

    betty6333 Approved members

    Aug 20, 2008
    I am sorry about the ketones and high bg.... I would check the pump , for sure , too.
    It will be ok. ;)

    I think it is ok to sleep once a month or so, and I hope next time you get sleep, that the BG /pump are ok.
  6. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    I'm sorry:( I don't have any wise words for you, except letting you know we understand you and please don't be hard on yourself.
    I hope those ketones clear up soon, and if you need suggestions for the basal issues, you can always post your questions here.;)
    Hang in there.
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2009
  7. samheis

    samheis Approved members

    May 20, 2008
    I thought guilt was the d parents motto? Look, the d demons sneak up on all of us. I hate those days too. You have every right to be angry at d today. But not at yourself. This may sound crass, and I apologize, but on days like yours (and like that last 3 weeks in my home) when I hate d, and I hate myself for overcorrecting or underestimating, I try to focus on one very important fact. My son is here.
    God bless, and hope you obliterate those ketones.
  8. lynn

    lynn Approved members

    Sep 2, 2006
    Thanks guys, for the understanding and forgiving spirit you all have.

    Ketones are down to .3!!! Yes!
  9. hawkeyegirl

    hawkeyegirl Approved members

    Nov 15, 2007
    I'm sorry Lynn. All I can say is that a couple of nights ago I did the opposite - corrected a 180something at bedtime that I should have left alone, and was up half the night trying to bring him back up.

    Sometimes you can't win. We just aren't very good pancreases.

    Hope you get those ketones cleared soon and BG back down.
  10. dqmomof3

    dqmomof3 Approved members

    Dec 29, 2007
    Yep...I corrected a 519 at bedtime that turned into a 39 less than 90 minutes later. This disease is just lousy. You do the best you can.
  11. buggle

    buggle Approved members

    Mar 24, 2008
    I feel like this disease just pokes us in the eyes all the time. No matter what you decide and how well you think it through, how hard you try, it bites us in the a$$ sometimes.

    I wouldn't expect a 189 to do that. Maybe we can start making punching bags with the words, "type 1 diabetes" on them and beat the crap out of them. :eek:

    I'm glad Nathan's ketones are down. I hope you have a good diabetes day.
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2009
  12. bisous

    bisous Approved members

    May 21, 2007
    How can you blame yourself? I would never have expected a 420 after a 189!

    I hope that your DS is feeling better. I totally have been there with unexpected and unpredictable nights.

    I've finally tamed the roller coaster but it took like 1.5 YEARS to get it right and I know that with the next growth spurt we'll be starting from square one!

    Don't beat yourself up. You need sleep, you really do. Blood sugar will go back down or back up but the long haul is what you need to concentrate on!

    You're doing a great job! Keep up the great work. Vent here or ask any question.

    Have a better day!
  13. Judy&Alli

    Judy&Alli Approved members

    Jan 26, 2008
    Diabetes is the sneakiest disease. I am so sorry. I hate it too!!! Hang in there it isn't anything that you did or didn't do!!! It is the nature of the d beast to trick us all the time! Hugs!!!!
  14. sisterbeth43

    sisterbeth43 Approved members

    Oct 14, 2007
    I wouldn't have corrected a 189 for my child either--even tho she was 13 at dxs. We sometimes make judgements that don't work out--that is human nature. And if Diabetes would act the same way all the time we wouldn't have these problems. You should not feel guilty. You are a good mom and like so many others have said--You need to take care of YOU too.
  15. MySweethearts

    MySweethearts Approved members

    Jun 21, 2006
    It makes me so mad that sometimes people at the doctors office what to give us a hard time. Gee, like we don't have enough to worry about. You are doing a great job! But, I understand the guilty feeling.
  16. mmgirls

    mmgirls Approved members

    Nov 28, 2008
    I feel your pain

    I can not go more than 4 hors without checking my dd at night. We have gotten basal good and for awhile I was still checking just to be sure and now we are correcting one or twice again. I tossed the only correct if over 200 our the window i don't know how long ago.
  17. mikesmom58

    mikesmom58 Approved members

    Feb 19, 2008
    Don't beat yourself up, it's not easy getting it right all the time. Even when we do everything we're supposed to it's still doesn't always go right. I know diabetes sucks but your doing the very best you can and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Hope tomorrow goes better for you.****HUGS***
  18. linda

    linda Approved members

    Jul 18, 2007
    Dont beat yourself up!! Could he be getting sick?? Or maybe site went bad? (if pumping?)
  19. Shirley and Jamie V.

    Shirley and Jamie V. Approved members

    Mar 21, 2007
    I'm with the "don't beat yourself up" group. As for the sleep, it's a biological need. The other day I was in the shower and I didn't know if I was on wash, rinse, repeat, or condition. I though to myself, "If I can't wash my hair, how can I be expected to drive let alone administer insulin?" We have to be realistic. We can manage this disease, but we can't ever totally control it.

    Today is a new day. Take a nap and keep on keeping on!
  20. Carrie

    Carrie Approved members

    May 1, 2006
    I wouldn't have corrected either.

    I should have called or e-mailed...I wasn't sleeping either. Just doing a site change at 2:30 a.m. :rolleyes: We were on day three of our daughter's site and her numbers were unusually good all day. I decided to chance it and do the site change today. Didn't happen that way. Before her bedtime snack she was a 97. I gave her her snack and didn't give her all of the insulin she was suppose to get (so she wouldn't go low). Three hours later (usually check after two hours but I had dozed off in my chair) she was a 421. Corrected and waited a half hour. She was down to a 420. By the time I did the site change she was like a 298. I should have gotten back up two hours later and re-checked her (after the site change), but I too was SO tired. She woke this morning over 300 with no ketones. Talk about feeling guilty. It has taken her all day to get down into the 100's. I feel like the lack of sleep takes such a toll on my body and causes additional wrinkles on my face. :(

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