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Stupid People

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by AmandaF, Aug 15, 2013.

  1. AmandaF

    AmandaF Approved members

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    Went to the grocery store tonight to get last minute supplies for my DS school supplies... (diabetes supplies) I got 10 tubes of icing gel. The cashier said "wow that's a lot of icing" I said I know... my son needs it. He says for a project? I said no he has T1D and it helps with really low blood sugar. He says WELL IF HE HAS DIABETES I DON'T THINK PURE SUGAR IS GONNA HELP!!!!

    I knew I should have just said I was making a big cake.... I knew it.... but I didn't..... and of course I got some stupid comment.

    I know that people don't understand. I don't expect everyone to understand. I can deal with questions like "well is he going to grow out if this" or "Why can't he just take a pill'? But come on people.... really?

    My family is so new at this and I have already heard so many stupid comments

    My favorites so far are as follows:
    1. Well do you think he got this because you let him have soda?
    2. What's the big deal if he misses a shot?
    3. Don't you think checking his blood sugar 6-8 times a day is a little overkill?
    4. How can he have diabetes if he isn't fat?

    The next is my favorite.... It was said IN FRONT of my 8 y\o 3 days after his dx... you ready for this? It's great!!!

    5. I sure hope he don't need to get his feet amputated like my grandma did from eating too much sugar.... :eek:

    I know that all of you with years of experience must have heard some great one's..... Share if you would like..... I know that I can't be the ONLY one surrounded by idiot's.... LOL
     
  2. caspi

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    I was born and raised in NY. Cashiers rarely spoke to you when you went through a grocery line. Then I moved to Virginia, where all the cashiers want to do is talk to you. :eek: I learned early on that the best thing to do is ignore them. I smile and nod and that's as far in the "conversation" we get. For those that may think I'm being rude, I personally think it's rude of them to be asking me questions about what I'm buying.

    So in the future - ignore, ignore, ignore. The chance of hearing stupid comments becomes less likely. ;)

    ETA: However I DID go off one day on a woman in Costco, of all places. She was commenting on every.single,thing. I was buying. Things like, "Oh, I don't eat this" and "Oh, that's not very healthy". I kid you not. When the granola bars and case of juice boxes came through she said "Oh, I'm happy we didn't have these when my kids were young as they are nothing but sugar". When we were done and she handed me my receipt, I told her that those granola bars and juice boxes have saved my son's life on more than one occasion (yes, I realize I was being theatrical at that point, but I was pissed, lol!) She was speechless for once, lol! And yes, I did say something to a manager about how offended I was at her commentary on what I was buying. ;)
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013
  3. swellman

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    I don't consider people who have no idea of T1D to be either stupid or idiots - ignorant, yes.

    Your expectations of cashiers are way too high.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013
  4. T-bird

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    I agree that people who have no idea about what T1D is aren't (necessarily) idiots but I think you are being way too hard on the OP. Her son was diagnosed a month ago. It takes a little time to get used to ignorant comments and learn how to let them roll of your shoulders.

    I try to remember that if I hadn't been dx'd the only things I would know about T1D would be from the notorious Hannah Montana episode! :eek:
     
  5. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

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    There may be very bright cashiers out there too; many are working more than one job to support families. I work 2 jobs and consider taking a third and it wouldn't be beyond me to be a cashier.

    We may be very sensitive, feeling our burden is heavy raising children with type 1. However, many of us, including myself, knew nothing about type 1 diabetes prior to the diagnosis. The media in general does a poor job of explaining all types of diabetes.

    For me the ignorance is not the enemy. It's an opportunity to educate those who are willing to learn. When confronted by those unwilling to learn, it's a good idea to take a deep breath and walk away.

    The one exception is ignorant, obnoxious, health care professionals, who believe they are well-intentioned. I did have a podiatrist once tell my young son that the podiatrist's grandfather lost both legs to diabetes. I was flabbergasted and livid....but couldn't think fast enough to make the appropriate response.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013
  6. DavidN

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    This was very well put and should end this thread in my opinion. Don't see it going anywhere productive.
     
  7. AmandaF

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    Well this is NOT how I intended this post to go!!!! Please forgive me for trying to find some humor in this situation...... I am 5 weeks into this and have realized that for now, I have 2 choices, Laugh or Cry.... today I tried to pick laughing.

    It seems some may like to start trouble here, IMO.... I will refrain from comment because frankly I have enough in life to worry about now.

    If I offended someone I am very sorry, again just trying to find a little humor.

    If this post needs to be deleted then please do so.... again, I was really just trying to find some humor in life!!!!! :mad:
     
  8. Jeff

    Jeff Founder, CWD

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    AmandaF, your post is perfectly fine -- no need to remove it.

    You're experiencing what all of us have -- a lack of understanding of type 1 diabetes by the majority of people. Most of us, as Ellen noted, didn't know anything about diabetes prior to diagnosis. That's normal. When we find ignorance, we have an opportunity to educate.

    Regarding cake icing, we used it all the time when our daughter was young. I'd offer just one suggestion -- avoid red. She was low once, with a bit of an upset stomach, and, let me just say, red doesn't come out of carpets. After that episode, we stuck with white!
     
  9. nanhsot

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    YES! I think that the key is to look through their lens, in many cases it is the lens of the press, and how diabetes is presented to the public. It is certainly not malicious and I don't believe it is ignorance so much as misinformation.

    I approach the public with confidence and a willingness to educate. In this situation I would have simply told her she was confusing the types of diabetes and left it at that. If further questions came up, deal with them in simple terms and avoid being defensive or angry. I often say that he has the little kid kind of diabetes, not the adult kind, that sometimes sheds light on it and makes people understand. It's not an accurate answer, and I realize that, but I'm always hopeful that my answer makes them ponder that they shouldn't make assumptions.

    For whatever reason this type thing rarely happens to me, or maybe I don't notice it. I do know that it's not uncommon for me to say "he's got lots of insulin in his pocket so he can eat whatever he wants."

    To the OP, it's hard not to get defensive, after all this is your CHILD you are defending! Just remember it's not directed at you or your family. Also realize that in those early days it's easy to get your feelings hurt, the emotions are so close to the surface that just about anything can bring them to a simmer. It'll get easier, you'll learn to either ignore or educate.
     
  10. nanhsot

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    Your post wasn't at all offensive, it's impossible to predict how posts will run their course. It is important to find the humor in life, especially when we are stressed and running on empty.

    We've all gotten the silly and uninformed responses and reactions. They ARE funny sometimes, and seeing the humor means you are moving on and living your life. This is a great thing.
     
  11. AmandaF

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    LOL Last night I was standing there looking at the colors..... My first thought was, oh I will grab the blue because it is his favorite color!!! Then I said holy cow, if/when we need this he may look like a smurf for a day or two.... Opted for WHITE... LOL

    Again, really I didn't mean to upset anyone, I am very aware so many don't understand. Once I feel that I am educated enough I will have no problem being an educator... LOL
     
  12. LoveMyHounds

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    I don't expect people to know, but I'm sorry - an adult talking about feet amputation in front of a child in my book is a mindless stupid idiot. And ignorant. :mad:
     
  13. danismom79

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    Right? I would have stopped at "The cashier said "wow that's a lot of icing" I said I know..." I think the key to me not getting any of these kinds of comments is that I don't tell people anything they don't need to know. Just a tip.
     
  14. tandjjt

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    Things like that still bother me too but you learn over time to get used to it to a certain degree and each of us have our own way to deal. Some educate, some ignore, etc...

    I have come to a statement like this over time: "Thank you but we get our advise from an outstanding pediatric endocrinology team and I believe we will stick to what they tell us"

    You'll find your way soon - it will get easier :)

    I think the stupid part is people running off at the mouth when they don't have a clue. They may be ignorant about T1D, but their lack of ability to keep their mouth shut when they should is quite idiotic to me ;)

    I think finding the humor is key - don't lose that. We would go crazy around here if we lost our humor!

    Best wishes!
     
  15. jmg707

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    I think truly most people do not know what to say! I think this falls in line with the same theory that you really do not know what someone is going through until you experience it yourself. I try not to be offended by too many things as it would be overwhelming :)

    Although, I did have a run in with a nurse at the hospital when Marissa was first diagnosed. Of course, she was terrified of all the needles and I explained that to the nurse. She told ,me it was "too bad and she better get used to it because she was a diabetic now"!!!!!! Yep.....good thing there was a bed in the way because I might have strangled her.:eek:
     
  16. Caldercup

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    When someone says something alarming or insensitive in front of my D child, I always tell my son "that won't happen to you because you're taking care of yourself."

    Then I turn to the adult who said it and say "that was probably not the best thing to say in front of someone with this disease."

    No more than that.

    Just a reminder to both my son and the insensitive person that it's our choices that define us.
     
  17. shannong

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    Amanda, first of all, I'm sorry to hear about your child's diagnosis. The first few months is so tough. And part of what makes it so tough is that no one really understands the disease (other than those living with it). I remember a similar post awhile ago where people discussed how to handle people that say really ignorant things about diabetes. I was really amazed to read how many people simply did not bring up Type 1 to others and/or did not care what others thought. At the time, I really couldn't believe it. I wanted the whole world to understand what it is like to parent a CWD. And I was so bothered by the ignorant comments (including from relatives and friends). Over time, ignorant comments will begin to roll off your back. I think I have begun to accept that diabetes is an invisible disease, and unless you are touched by it, most people will not understand.
     
  18. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I think this is a mistake a lot of us make. After a while you get that people aren't all that interested and that's ok.;) When the cashier says, "that's a lot of icing" It's ok to just say, as Danismom pointed out, " Yes, it is."

    No one is entitled to an explanation of your grocery cart, just as you are not entitled to their support and understanding. It gets easier because eventually you won't care what the other person thinks.
     
  19. Debdebdebby13

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    OP, I totally get where you are coming from. There is no reason for any cashier to need to make commentary on your reasons for buying anything. Even type 2 diabetics get low blood sugar from time to time! People just need to keep it to themselves!

    I usually launch into an explanation that is way more than any person would want to know about t1 on a casual basis, that usually shuts them up :)
     
  20. MomofSweetOne

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    I met another T1 parent this weekend, and as we were talking about D, someone else was listening in and then told us about his grandmother who went totally blind, his uncle who had both legs amputated because of gangrene, and several others. I was honestly amused that he was so clueless as to think we wanted to hear his tales of horror. Finally I broke in and said, "Most Type 2s already have damage by the time they're diagnosed. Type 1 is different, and my daughter has had tight control since the beginning and her odds are low because of it." It ended the conversation.:D
     

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