Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by FloridaMom, Jun 21, 2012.
Threads like these are just not in the spirit of CWD. Sorry.
The best thing this site could do is get rid of the smilie. It always adds a condescending tone to replies.
I think everyone needs to remember that it can often be difficult to discern exactly "which" tone is being used when reading written words. There are no inflections of the speaker's voice, nor facial expressions to rely on (even emoticons are sometimes misused). All of our normal social cues have been removed, and we are left to try to determine things like sarcasm on our own without our usual cues to help us. Yes, the writer holds some responsibility to communicate their idea, but no one can do this 100%. It's one of the beauties of written words...part of it is what the writer is giving, but part of it is also what the reader brings to it.
So, I personally, like to give people the benefit of the doubt. You know, maybe they ARE being snarky, but it's really hard for me to tell for sure by just written words. So I just assume they meant well. Maybe they give great advice but are not that great with words or writing? I have definitely seen some people on here that I thought were quite arrogant at times, but then they turn around and give great advice that I never would have thought of...or they are kind and supportive to a new-comer. I think this board is just refelctive of life in community with other people. If there is more than 1 person, then there will be conflict...just look at a marriage (or friendship, or siblings) where there are 2 people who love each other deeply...but there is still conflict. That's just part of dealing with people. We just have to not take it personally! :cwds:
This is really how I live my life. I would rather go through life and assume good intentions then feel like everything was a personal attack.
People don't come here to snark. They come here to offer support. And to some of us, that means hugs and to others that means cold hard truth or reality. But in the end, the intent - the motivation - is good.
I know what you mean. In one of my first threads here, I was flat out accused of being a troll. Even looking back at it now, I still get kinda ticked reading it. The thread eventually got locked, but the damage was done.
I still don't know why I stuck around after that post. Maybe the arrogant side of me wanted to prove I was "for real" lol.
But here I am now. I've learned from online forums that if I don't like the direction a thread is going, I can always just leave it and post elsewhere.
and its funny, In real life I am quite the "huggy" person. On online forums... not so much
I can think of a dozen uses for and most are perfectly self-depricting or situational, not personal. But, I know that some folks are hyper-sensitive about it and assume that you're being rude if you use one. What can I say, I'm from NY.
But why stop there? I think maybe the overuse of the exclamation point is offensive and too, the failure to use the stinking apostrophe in a contraction makes me see red and feel all insulted. And don't even get me started on "alot"... it's two words people, "a lot".
So, who gets to decide where to draw the line? We all have our own threshold for annoyance - if we can't grow-up enough to manage that, then the removal of a lousy emoticon isn't going to do much good.
CWD is a nice. Threads like this are not.
Well, not always. There is the Alot of Hyperbole and a Half fame. (I love a chance to pimp that blog!) And "allot" which has an entirely different meaning from a lot or Alot. My second-grader loves to catch grown-ups making these sorts of errors.
That same blog entry explains why some folks don't use apostrophes. It's because they're really eagles typing with their talons. Don't be such a h8r.
"I like this alot more", is my personal fav
The other Alot just looks so SAD.
I'm not hyper-sensitive and I don't assume. I infer what people are like based on what they write, be it emoticons, exclamations or veiled insults. I put people in categories based on what they write, and there are "a lot" of great people on this board.
My comment was directed at your idea, not at you. I don't know, nor was I commenting on your sensitivity or the degree to which you assume things.
I think it's time for Beyonce, the Huge Metal Chicken. (The original link is broken. You'll have to scroll down to the blog post entitled, "And that's why you should learn to pick your battles."
Not for those easily offended by the F word, the MF word, or huge metal chickens.
Set the trap, and they walk right into it.
Whos walking into traps? What traps?
Wait? Aren't you the one who said a bunch of us long time posters who offer support and help - every.damn.day - didn't you say we were all part of one particular poster's harem on Facebook?
Yeah, yeah. That was you.
Sigh. Funny how people can be high and mighty on CWD and then bash it on Facebook. That's what I call classy.
OK, I'll try not to make any more assumptions about what you're comments might actually mean
Pretty sure I know what a newbie stumbling on this right now would think. I'll take baited traps and loaded emoticons for $1000, Alex.
I just wasted five minutes of my life reading this thread. I can't have those minutes back. Nothing personal against anyone who posted, I'm just saying...
Separate names with a comma.