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Sleepovers at grandparents

Discussion in 'Grandparents' started by Jeff, Jan 16, 2006.

  1. koot

    koot Approved members

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    We did it

    We just found out a ten days ago that our grandson who is 22 months old has type 1. He is such a sweet thing that we already have had him for an overnight stay. I think the more grandparents learn the easier it is for them to care for the child. God bless and much luck.
    Grandpa
     
  2. Marc&JR.

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    I applaude your outlook and willingness. As the father of a newly diagnosed T1 child this is very heartning. My mother is also very interested in learning as much as she can about this disease. I'm hoping that at some point in the future she will be able to feel as confidnet as you and be willing to take him for an overnight. Thank you and I know they appreciate you. Heck I don't know you and I appreciate you. :)
     
  3. frizzyrazzy

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    my own family have all learned how to take care of my son and they did right away (grandma,grandad, 2 uncles and one aunt) all are totally capable of what ian needs. They had no hesitation. On the other hand my il's have been slow to do anything. none of my husband's siblings have done anything and my mil is JUST going to take a class...And that's what I wanted to get to - our local diabetes camp does a weekend "caregivers" weekend where the kids and granparent go ALONE to camp. The kids have fun and the grandparents learn all weekend. I feel good about this because I know Ian willl be cared for properly but at the same time I know that my mil will be learning. My kids used to go with my mil on every school vacation and for weeks during the summer.. they all miss that.
     
  4. janeirene

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    Overnite visits

    I have Ashley quite often. I guess since I took her to the doctor when she was 4 years old, and diagnosed at that time, I just fell into caring for her. She now cares for herself, gives her own shots, checks her levels, the only thing I do is check if the dosage is correct. It is a sad state of affairs....when we accept what will be. But that is the reality, her life is one of needles and constant vigilance of her body. I am thankful for the strides which have been made in diabetes care. At least, these children are on a life support until a cure can be found. As to the overnites, Ashley usually sleeps with me, I like to have her in the same room. Even when we sleep upstairs, in the twin beds, I stay in the room with her. It just makes me feel ever so much better! I have my own supplies here at home, so it makes it easier to just keep her most of the time. She is the joy of my life!
     
  5. Miss Champers

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    My son has had type 1 for 10 yrs and my parents haven't really been much help at all. They still don't know the first thing about diabetes and have had no interest in learning anything about it. They won't have my son staying over because they're scared but they have babysat a few times but only after we've administered his insulin and made sure he's eaten. When I'd had a few drinks one night I made a comment to them about their lack of help and ended up falling out with them for a while but now things are ok. My son isn't close at all to his grandparents and I think it's such a shame he's lost out because of their ignorance.
     
  6. BettyB

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    Hi Miss Champers, What a disappointing situation for all of you. So much lost time and hurt feelings. I'm working on a book now to help parents and grandparents unite in the care of their CWD. If you can think of anything in particular you tried (to encourage the grandparents' invovement) that didn't work, I would very much appreciate hearing about it. Likewise, anything that you think might be helpful but perhaps haven't tried yet.

    You've seen on here that you're not alone in this problem - thank you for adding your voice. Best of luck to your family.
    BettyB
     
  7. frizzyrazzy

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    since this thread has been bumped, I'd like to say that in the previous year from when I made that post (ha, 1 year ago today) and my mil went to camp with ian she has done NOTHING. sigh.

    she's going to camp with him again next month and I have come to the conclusion that if one weekend per year at camp is all she's capable of doing then we'll just have to be happy with that.

    Maybe it will stick this year.
     
  8. BlessedIAm

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    I cannot say enough how much of a blessing and utter relief it has been that my parents took the initiative to learn how to take care of DS's diabetes. They are THE BEST parent/grandparents in the whole world! They were just as overwhelmed with his diagnosis and how to manage it as I was but they really did want to learn, and they didn't want to let the learning process drag on and on either.

    On the other hand, all other family members, including my in-laws have not been as eager to learn. I've recieved a few "I need to learn" comments from people but we are already more than a year out from diagnosis and those people still have not bothered to learn how to take care of him. My DH is diabetic and his family is NO HELP at all. DH was 14 when he was diagnosed so he was taught how to do all of his diabetes management...so they never counted carbs or gave shots, etc. and boy does it show. :rolleyes:

    I cannot stress enough how much it means to DH and I AND to DS that "nana and papa" learned how to take care of and have taken such an interest in learning about all things diabetes. It definitely goes a long way in cementing a bond that thankfully already existed and has only gotten stronger.
     
  9. jcanolson

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    Both sets of grandparents are terrified of watching her, but always shrug off any suggestions I make of checking into classes, etc. It is VERY frustrating to hear all about how much fun they have having the other grandkids for days at a time so their parents can "get a break". ARGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. EmmasPapa

    EmmasPapa Guest

    I just cannot understand how a grandparent can be "terrified" of keeping their grandchild.:mad: Our grandchildren are the lights of our lives. Their pain is our pain and their parent's problems are our problems. Our biggest concern is being too intrusive.

    I would hate to die knowing that I let my flesh and blood down; that I didn't do everything I could to make their lives better and that I didn't have a close, loving relationship with my grandkids.

    I know for a fact that most grandparents feel as we do. You should see the emails from grandparents on the CWD Grandparent mailing list - those missives will warm your heart. To those grandparents (and other family members) that do not participate in the care of a T1 child - you should be ashamed.

    I will probably get some heat here on the forum for the "ashamed" comment for being too judgmental:p, but that is just me, and I can live with it. I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy.

    To you parents who are not getting the support you need and deserve; know that you are doing the best you can for your children. That is the important thing.
     
  11. jules12

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    My MIL is the same - only she thinks she knows because her husband is Type 2. My dh side of the family just doesn't get it. Thankfully, my Mom and my Sister will take my son anytime. My niece (senior in High school) has even come over and taken time to learn so she can take him to the movies every once in a while. I've decided with my MIL, she just doesn't have the time to put into it - I shouldn't be surprised because even before D she only had the kids once or twice a year.
     
  12. Lance

    Lance Approved members

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    As I have read through the posts in this thread, I have wanted to cry for those whose families aren't supportive. My wife and I are doing all we can to be a part of our grandson's life. From the first days in ICU, we have tried to be there, to learn right alongside our daughter and SIL. We want to be comfortable with Zane's needs and requirements, and we want his parents to be comfortable in leaving him with us. I can't make this go away, but I can ease the burden on those around me. I want to be as much of an inspiration to my grandson as he is to me.

    As for those who don't want to be involved, I won't give you any grief whatsoever for your choice of words :rolleyes:

    I just learned last week that my SIL, DX'd 45 years ago at age 12, had virtually no support from any of her family. I just don't understand it.
     
  13. jcanolson

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    Neither set of grandparents has been able to do sleep-overs. My parents are older, and quite honestly, the girls aren't really interested in staying there. With my in-laws it is harder because all the grandkids get to stayover at a very early age - except Nat. We were visiting and staying in the guest suite of their apartment building, but Nat couldn't stay in their apartment even though my dh was going to go up at 3 am and check on her and we were only 3 floors away. They know how to use a meter, but they just can't deal with the overnight. How am I supposed to explain this to my child?
    These are the same grandparents that buy candy for all the other grandkids and try to sneak it to them behind Nat's back. Do they think D has made her deaf and stupid?:eek: We had to have a few words over that very quickly.
     
  14. Omo2three

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    What if the grandparents want to have the kids over, but just don't get diabetes- care.

    I know my in-laws love our kids. She tries so hard to understand it. But she just doesn't seem to get it. For example, Bg testing, I got her a meter with strips. I showed her on my DD how to test, I showed her on myself, and I showed her on her own fingers. She took it home to practice, started to put the blood on the end and stick the wrong end inside the meter...ruining the meter....sigh. She hasn't asked for any more help. She tried giving candy all the time to Ambrea (when I wasn't looking) honey sticks, and Ambrea was great... she took it said thanks and said she would save it for later...not to hurt Grandma's feelings. (Ambrea has a big heart). Grandma will not do the needles, we are okay with that. Ambrea is old enough to do everything herself, except if she is low. So for now its short trips together:)

    The sleep overs are stressful for parents to let go ...as well as the new person taking the responsibility of caring for a D or D Emergency can be intimidating.
     

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