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sleepover

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by kail, Oct 25, 2016.

  1. kail

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    My daughter has been invited to her first sleepover for a friend's 7th birthday. My DD is 6. I have never left DD with anyone except for my mother and sister and only for about an hour other than school of course.
    I want to do it because it seems as good of a situation as I could hope for: they live just around the corner and one parent is nurse and the other a physician. DD is on dexcom share as well. On the other hand, I am struggling to imagine how we are going to manage this minefield of food (DD is celiac also) and medications. I will happily let her run high which is bound to happen anyway so I don't have to worry about what to do if she went low in the middle of the night. I know it would be good to have the parents of one of her friends know how to watch her. But it is just so hard. I suppose I should just send her with food that is similar to what the other girls are eating but gluten free and then I can determine the carb count. I was thinking I might back the lantus up from her usual time at 8-9pm gradually so that we can give it at 5pm before she goes to the party. One less thing to worry about. Parties are hard enough without figuring out how to manage one that I am not at. We have never done that before.

    Any other advice welcome.
     
  2. Lakeman

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    Hi, sleepovers are hard. The dex is fantastic but you do have to be prepared for the possibility that it won't be working for at least part of this particular night. It can help to get her access to their wifi. For us we struggled through a lot of the sleepover hassles but what was non-negotiable was that at least one adult would be able to take care of lows and high highs even if that adult was one of us driving over. When a parent volunteered to get up in the middle of the night for the first time it made my year just so my daughter could have her first sleepover since diagnoses.

    By all means pack and pre-measure as much as you want - one less problem. Assuming she has a cell phone - use it often. A rule for us is that she has to return text or calls within a reasonable amount of time. She can even send you photos of food she is planning to eat so you can more easily figure carbs.

    Just because they are doctor and nurse does not mean they will do a good job - one could hope of course.

    If you have the time why not back lantus up. But if she can be trusted to give lantus then let her. This way yo won't have to adjust for peaks that happen at unexpected times.

    If her treatment of choice is a drink then pack bendy straws which are easier for others to use.

    Good luck and enjoy the night out.
     
  3. wilf

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    Why wouldn't you just walk around the corner and give the Lantus at the usual time? You could make it part of a brief visit, chat with the parents a bit.
     
  4. susanlindstrom16

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    Just throwing it out there that if you aren't comfortable with her spending the night, you can always let her stay for all the fun stuff and then come and pick her up when you think they might be probably winding down for the night. My daughter is 8 and that's what we have done for sleepovers. We just aren't there yet with having her stay the night in a situation where the adults are minimally trained.
     
  5. samson

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    Six is young for a sleepover anyways, so I don't think you'd be out of line in just saying "when you're older." susanlindstrom16 also has a good suggestion. The fun usually occurs before midnight. After midnight is when people draw mustaches on your face while you sleep in an uncomfortable bag on the floor. She wont be missing much if you just pick her up late in the evening.
     
  6. MEVsmom

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    My daughter just turned 11 and unless it is someone that I know well and I know that I can call them in the middle of the night and they will answer, she can't stay. I'm comfortable with her being high, but we have had a couple of instances where she was critically low and not hearing her Dex. For big sleepover birthday parties, sometimes we do just let her stay late and then go and get her. I also think stopping in and giving the Lantus is a good suggestion. That way you can check in on things.
     
  7. Lakeman

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    Yes, we have done that too.
     
  8. Lakeman

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    We have said basically the same thing. We never made it about age but about the availability of an adult to help and her own ability to do cares. As she has gotten older we have relied on other adults less and expected my daughter (age 11) to take over what she can. When she was not quite wanting to do lantus by herself what helped her get over the obstacles was that she wanted to go on sleepovers and we expected her to do her own lantus. It was not at age six but I don't really remember when she could do lantus independently. Now at age 11 we expect he to answer he phone whenever she is awake. We are working on waking up to alarm clocks/dex alarms/phone calls.
     
  9. Snowflake

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    Unless I had 100% confidence in the parents, I would have a hard time saying yes to this, at least as much because of celiac as diabetes.

    I've discovered at birthday parties, etc, that my incredibly responsible 6 yr old -- who knows full well how sick she gets from gluten -- has a hard time saying no when she is offered food that all her friends are eating. And just because we send packed food doesn't mean that she won't be offered or tempted to accept other food. I've found that there are very few adults, no matter how well-educated, that I can trust to monitor her food for gluten. I've intercepted another parent offering her pretzels at a party because "pretzels are always gluten free, right?"

    But still, I can think of one family who I would trust to jump through all the necessary celiac and diabetes hoops for us -- if the invite was from them, we might say yes. Since we don't have family in town, I run through these mental contingencies often, so that we know exactly who to call to watch her in an emergency (neurotic much?)
     
  10. forHisglory

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    Nighttime is for sleeping. Diabetes or not, I don't see much benefit in my child being asleep at any one else's home except grandparents. I like to know they are safe and sound in their own beds. That wouldn't prevent me from picking him/her up late and even bringing back over for breakfast! Why does a child need to sleep elsewhere, it's not like they are talking/playing! And, if they are pulling all nighters- well that makes life a wreck for at least a week afterwards with endless attitude adjustments. We like the hybrid "almost sleepovers" I guess........at least until they are older! :)
     
  11. kail

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    thanks everyone. I agree that 6 is young for this. My 9 year old has slept over at a friends house maybe once or twice but never a big sleepover party even. The other girls are 7 mostly and I think it will be pretty tame. I trust them pretty well but a party situation is tough even if I were there the entire time. I have never had trouble with DD eating things she shouldn't (due to celiac) and she doesn't self serve herself any food at home ever so its not a habit for her to just snack on available food. Still, she is 6 and she might be tempted to snack on something that she believed was gluten free. she is not really responsible for any of her care at this time although she is fairly knowledgeable. She has a phone but it is tucked into her bag that carries dexcom and she is not accustomed to using it. We don't even leave the sound on since it is used at school for the share and not much else. I would not expect her to check in with me but I would be checking in with parents and probably going by. We will see. I may pull her out to sleep at home. I'm guessing she will end up running plenty high due to pizza and cake (gluten free of course) that I won't be too worried about lows but we will have a plan for them holding her monitor and me banging on the door if she is low.
     
  12. Snowflake

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    Good luck! I'd love to hear how it goes!
     
  13. Lakeman

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    If you do end up pulling her out don't feel too bad. I have done it before when needed.
     
  14. Ali

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    I suspect if you told the parents about the gluten issue that would be easy, so many people and kids eat gluten free these days. But if your are just not comfortable having her away from you or sense she is not ready then just say "she would love to come to the party but is more comfy at home after 10:00 and go and pick her up:):) Six is young no matter what for a sleepover:):) If the issue is the medical I think it is pretty easy to control if you talk to the parents and especially with a CGMS:):)
     
  15. SarahKelly

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    We have not done any sleep overs for Isaac, however he isn't interested, I think it's bit different with boys. As for the gluten free, we found that even at parties we need to bring his own celiac safe gluten free...people typically do not completely understand celiac safe. They will say, "Yep, it's gluten free." Not know that cutting a pizza with the same pizza cutter just contaminated the pizza. OR they'll kindly bake a batch of brownies in the same dish and use the same knife (with wooden handle) to cut them and then voila contaminated. Or use their hands to serve everybody their food not realizing that if they don't wash between they are getting gluten on the gluten free food.
    So...now three years into celiac disease I find it's easiest to ask what they're serving and then bring Isaac his own celiac safe version. This also means I can carb count it as it's something we are used to and he doesn't have as many highs or lows.
    I hope you figure out the details and she has a fabulous time with her friends.
     
  16. Snowflake

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    Yes! We've learned this hard way. The most dangerous hosts are the ones that are blasse about it, "oh, of course, we'll do something gluten free, it shouldn't be too hard" -- and then they do all the things you said, or they make assumptions like "rice krispie treats probably don't have gluten."

    Like you, Sarah, my family is also at the point that we bring a picnic bag with us to all social gatherings, where we try to replicate GF versions of whatever is being served. But that hasn't stopped well-meaning adults from offering my daughter food! And from telling her things are GF without running it past me first. I hope this doesn't sound harsh or ungrateful, because I know that people genuinely want to include my daughter (which I really appreciate!), but it's so much easier when hosts just assume that we're on our own to feed her.
     
  17. kail

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    funny thing.....my daughter plays every day with the birthday girl and another girl and she just told me that the other girl (who I've not met yet) has celiac too! We have never been around another child with celiac so that's really helpful. They also share a birthday so that's kind of strange. Anyway, I wish I knew the mom ( of the girl with celiac) or knew this earlier as it might have helped. And yes, I was happiest sending her food rather than relying on anything supposedly gluten free that I am not supervising. I told the host we were sending her with food and she said she had gluten free nuggets and a gluten free desert. So I guess we will see. I will still send her with a gluten free pizza I think since the other girls are eating pizza. It helps that another child there has similar issues. I may just have to stroll over at dinner. Frustrating that it is so hard. And if it weren't for all the reasons that it is hard then I probably wouldn't feel so determined to make this work (at least until 10p-then we will see). I hate to see her left out when she already has to accept so much.
     
  18. MEVsmom

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    Just my two cents on thinking pizza and junk will run them high. We have completely the opposite with sleepovers (the few we let her attend with trusted close friends). We call it the "sleepover effect." All the excitement makes my daughter run dangerously low. We normally have to turn back her basal to avoid a 50 during the night.
     
  19. kail

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    Just wanted to share that we all survived the night and DD had a fabulous time. My DH took her over to the party and helped to figure out what she would eat and what the dose should be. But he way overestimated the desert and was more aggressive than I would have been on her dose. So naturally she went low which was handled fine. Then we were concerned she hadn't had enough food still and the host wanted to know if she could have some candy since the other girls were having it. Fine. But that ended up to be an entire kid size bag of M&Ms (29grams!) and of course that didn't have much effect right away so she was still running borderline low and got some more juice. So a couple hours later she was shooting up once the pizza, brownies and candy kicked in. I had planned not to correct her to purposely run a bit high all night but she was 330 and going straight up so we gave a unit. Then the host had to get up and give her a little juice at 4am which she handled perfectly and she was great the rest of the time. So we made it through. I wish my DH had not given her so much insulin as it was a bit rocky and more time consuming for the host than I had hoped. But my daughter was comfortable with her and the host was comfortable handling the meds/testing etc. She did later tell me though that she was a bit panicked as she is used to any number below 70 being rather an emergency in her area of the hospital where she works as a nurse. We treated her before she got to 70 but dexcom dipped down still into the 50's before it caught up. I'm glad we did it though. Right now she is my daughter's closest friend and they live nearby so having another person who could watch my child is huge. Thanks for all the advice and encouragement.
     

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