Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by sooz, Aug 25, 2011.
Well, whatever happened, happened.
Damn Dahrma Initiative.
Please do not think that is what I meant or what I posted. I was simply posting a pretty little internet forward that I had received that brightened my day a bit. As I explained later, I have had a really bad year and I was deeply offended by a nurse who said that my 37 year old son in law's unexpected death had happened "for a reason"...so please, dont put words in my mouth or think that that is why I posted the original post.
In case you missed it, this was my reply when you first called me to task:
QUOTE: What I said was, I hoped it was true..not that it gives me comfort. I understand EXACTLY how you feel and feel the same way actually. When they had just pronounced my 37 year old son in law dead and his body was still lying in front of us and a nurse came in and tried to comfort us by saying everything happens for a reason, I wanted to scream. Oh really? My daughter is now a widow and my two grandchildren will grow up without their daddy? And when my husband had his stroke one month later..well..how is that right or just?
Sorry, I probably should not have posted the sermon or this reply . I believe faith is a choice, by it's very definition it does not have to make sense, you know?? Sometimes pretty little quotes like flowers in the spring and sunrises do lift the heart a bit. I guess to the answer of why our children, I ask, why not our children? I hate the suffering in the world, we are often so blind to it. Im jus trying really really hard not to be bitter.
Perhaps you should get some professional counseling to reconcile your feelings. In the end, this bitterness is not going to resolve all the suffering in the world, nor is it going to take away your grandchild's diabetes. Seriously, there is so much to be grateful for, and when I'm down in the dumps, I think about what I do have, and not what is lacking. I know people that are extremely positive, despite the fact they have duress, children with serious health issues, or any other extreme difficulty in their lives.
As a Holocaust survivor once said, "Every day above ground is a good day." Take that for what it's worth. Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you soon.
I did not put words in your mouth. I simply commented on what you posted.
I did not call you to task, I simply commented on what you posted.
This is what you posted that I commented on:
OMG..the first post I made was just intended to be a pretty little piece of fluffy internet encouragement..I did not write it, I only copied and pasted it because I thought it was uplifting..I do not need counseling and I am not bitter, I said I was trying hard NOT to be bitter, except when people try to make something more of my posts than I intended. Get a grip people. I never EVER would assume ANYTHING I ever did or said would resolve all the suffering in the world..or take away my grandchild's D...Why would you even think that was what I was trying to do? I think you have a lot of nerve quoting a Holocaust survivor about whether they are happy about what happened to 6 million Jews. Of course you can have a good day and be positive, it does not mean that everything is SUNSHINE and RAINBOWS all the time, as has been said on this forum many times. You sound very young and I hope you are always as Pollyanna about your life's and the world's difficulties. However, sometimes it is right and just to take a sober look at things and understand that while, of course, things could be worse, things are pretty tough sometimes, and sometimes you hang on by a thread, and are proud of that. And some times the world's suffering cannot be just casually solved by happy thoughts. I am reconciled to the fact that my granddaughter has D and am not bitter about it. I am grateful that she lives in a time where there are wonderful protocols and hope. If you think the death of a beloved 37 year old husband, father, and son is something that you can wipe away by thinking of what you do have and not what is lacking, then I pity you. You have no real understanding of what life can bring you. Good luck to you and I hope that time will bring you a better understanding of what actual strength of character is.
Ok Christopher..I give up. If I knew how seriously people would pick it apart and take it literally I never would have posted it. I should have known better. It isnt even something that I believe, only something that I hope for. Faith is an individual choice and an always evolving process. I personally know that I do not know enough to even pretend to understand the mind of God or why people suffer or any other theological question. I apologize for putting up a piece of writing that seemed to make it look like I did.
There is no reason to apologize, in my opinion. If you posted something that helps you or that you think might help others, there is nothing wrong with that. However, this is an open forum and you will get responses, some you may agree with and others you may not. I was simply responding to what you posted. I never made any judgements on you or what you may or may not believe.
I guess one lesson learned is that when you post something on religion, don't be surprised if it generates some intense discussion. There are several topics here (low carb diets, alert dogs, night time testing, guest assistant passes, etc) that usually generate that type of discussion.
Clearly you do not know Marsha. (Love ya, Marsha! )
Ouch...are you saying Marsha is old?? How mean....
I think Marsha is my age, and I'm no spring chicken.
I always LOVE when you say this. I've used this line many times about my own kid with diabetes.
Back to your regularly scheduled topic.
I think I'm a bit older actually!
BTW, I give up with this thread. I think I took the OP's thoughts out of context and she took mine out of context, which is often what happens when people write and you cannot hear the "emotion" from the words. I should stick to what I'm best at, technical writing.
ETA: Sooz, I apologize if I offended you.
I'm so sorry that you are feeling picked on in this thread. I get what you were doing, but then again at the age of 38 I have been through far far more so far than most people who are even older than I am. Sometimes we need these little poems or such to get us through. It's perfectly ok to have an off day, or 10. And it's ok sometimes to feel like "why me". As for things happening for a reason, some things I think do, some I think I can explain, and others I just cannot begin to, so why bother? As for being positive in spite of adversity,sometimes that can take years to get to that point. No one has walked in your shoes, so no one can tell you how to wear them.
If you disagree with someone about something, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you are done, you're a mile away and you've got their shoes!
But what if they have fungus?
Marsha, I apologize to you as well. You were just trying to offer help when in your mind I needed it, and offer advice that I should have thanked you for and moved on. I think it upset me because I do think I am usually being as positive as possible, but here I just thought I could let down a bit where I dont in my 'real' life. As for being young, believe me, it is all relative lol...the thirties is probably my IQ about now...again, sorry and thank you for trying to offer help.
And God knows I AM crazy...
Separate names with a comma.