I just need to vent for a minute. I’m so broken hearted for DD this morning. She had tryouts yesterday for middle school cheerleading and she didn’t make the team. She was devastated. Last month she tried out again for the praise team she was on last year at church that leads the singing at VBS and wasn’t picked for that either. Of course she was devastated then too. She’s just 7 ½ months post diagnosis and still learning to cope with this. It’s been a big struggle emotionally for her and I thought she was doing better but of course now she’s upset again. She feels like all that happens to her lately is bad stuff. Just yesterday I was in the car by myself and thinking about what a beautiful day it was and how the kids would be out of school soon and heading to the pool every day and then I started thinking about how we would have to tape the dexcom sensor on really good, and then how that sucked that she had to worry about that at all instead of just getting to be a kid. But I was hopeful because I really thought she would make cheerleading and that it would really cheer her up and give her something she enjoys to be involved in. I’m so down right now. I just feel like she has had such a rough year, from the very beginning of this school year when she ended up in a class with none of her friends. Two were in one class together and two others in the other class and she is in a different one. She wanted to take tumbling, but all the classes were full so she didn’t get to do that. Then she ended up in the hospital sick and diagnosed with Type 1. Then none of her friends or even girls in her grade did the enrichment program this year and so she was miserable in that and didn’t sign up second semester. Then her hair started falling out and she was really upset about that. Thankfully it has stopped but is still not as thick as it used to be and it really bothers her. My sister and I had hoped to do a girls trip to Disney over spring break for DD’s birthday, but I didn’t have the money since we had spent so much on prescriptions and hospital bills. (Of course I didn’t tell her that was why) Then she tried out for the VBS praise team and didn’t get picked. Then she tried out for cheerleading and didn’t get picked. She wanted to go to diabetes camp but I just didn’t really have the extra $300 right now unless we canceled our family vacation. She wanted to go to drama camp but that was also $400. She is doing regular overnight camp in July but I’m terrified about how to deal with her blood sugar that week and I know she's worried about how her diabetes is going to hold her back from having fun with her friends. She's not looking forward to summer because I have to work so she'll have to go to my mom's everyday and she doesn't want to. I told her she could try staying home some, but that makes her stuck in the house all day while I'm at work. I just really wanted her to make this cheerleading team. She wanted it so badly and it would have cheered her up so much to be involved in that. I just feel like she’s had one disappointment after another. She was signed up for the pump class in April, but it was on the same day as her last class field trip and she had to decide which to do. She chose the field trip, but now they don’t offer another one until fall. I know life is full of disappointments and it’s a good learning experience for her and all that. And I know that things could always be worse, and I'm thankful to have her here with us given how sick she was when she was diagnosed. But I just wish she could catch a break. I miss how happy and confident and carefree she seemed this time last year. After she went to bed last night I cried myself to sleep because my heart is just breaking for her right now.