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Sad and discouraged today

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by kt_mom, May 13, 2014.

  1. kt_mom

    kt_mom Approved members

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    I just need to vent for a minute. I’m so broken hearted for DD this morning. She had tryouts yesterday for middle school cheerleading and she didn’t make the team. She was devastated.

    Last month she tried out again for the praise team she was on last year at church that leads the singing at VBS and wasn’t picked for that either. Of course she was devastated then too.

    She’s just 7 ½ months post diagnosis and still learning to cope with this. It’s been a big struggle emotionally for her and I thought she was doing better but of course now she’s upset again. She feels like all that happens to her lately is bad stuff.

    Just yesterday I was in the car by myself and thinking about what a beautiful day it was and how the kids would be out of school soon and heading to the pool every day and then I started thinking about how we would have to tape the dexcom sensor on really good, and then how that sucked that she had to worry about that at all instead of just getting to be a kid. But I was hopeful because I really thought she would make cheerleading and that it would really cheer her up and give her something she enjoys to be involved in.

    I’m so down right now. I just feel like she has had such a rough year, from the very beginning of this school year when she ended up in a class with none of her friends. Two were in one class together and two others in the other class and she is in a different one. She wanted to take tumbling, but all the classes were full so she didn’t get to do that. Then she ended up in the hospital sick and diagnosed with Type 1. Then none of her friends or even girls in her grade did the enrichment program this year and so she was miserable in that and didn’t sign up second semester. Then her hair started falling out and she was really upset about that. Thankfully it has stopped but is still not as thick as it used to be and it really bothers her.

    My sister and I had hoped to do a girls trip to Disney over spring break for DD’s birthday, but I didn’t have the money since we had spent so much on prescriptions and hospital bills. (Of course I didn’t tell her that was why) Then she tried out for the VBS praise team and didn’t get picked. Then she tried out for cheerleading and didn’t get picked. She wanted to go to diabetes camp but I just didn’t really have the extra $300 right now unless we canceled our family vacation. She wanted to go to drama camp but that was also $400. She is doing regular overnight camp in July but I’m terrified about how to deal with her blood sugar that week and I know she's worried about how her diabetes is going to hold her back from having fun with her friends. She's not looking forward to summer because I have to work so she'll have to go to my mom's everyday and she doesn't want to. I told her she could try staying home some, but that makes her stuck in the house all day while I'm at work.

    I just really wanted her to make this cheerleading team. She wanted it so badly and it would have cheered her up so much to be involved in that. I just feel like she’s had one disappointment after another. She was signed up for the pump class in April, but it was on the same day as her last class field trip and she had to decide which to do. She chose the field trip, but now they don’t offer another one until fall.

    I know life is full of disappointments and it’s a good learning experience for her and all that. And I know that things could always be worse, and I'm thankful to have her here with us given how sick she was when she was diagnosed. But I just wish she could catch a break. I miss how happy and confident and carefree she seemed this time last year. After she went to bed last night I cried myself to sleep because my heart is just breaking for her right now.
     
  2. rgcainmd

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    I feel so badly for both you and your daughter! :(. Just one disappointment after another for your DD; so unfair! Have you looked into scholarships for diabetes camp? I've heard of someone getting one of these at the last minute after camp enrollment was closed. It can't hurt to ask (or beg or plead, whatever it takes; no child with or without T1D should have to deal with this many blows in such a brief timespan and if they heard your story, perhaps they would make an exception). My daughter tried out for advanced band last week and didn't make it; needless to say she was crushed. I think she should be given another chance at the end of the summer in light of the fact that her improvement in playing French horn ground to a halt just before her diagnosis (coincidence? I think not). But I know that expecting these sorts of accommodations is just not realistic. It just sucks though because our kids must feel like the universe is out to rain on their parades. Hang in there, you two, and I hope better times are ahead!

    Addendum: Just re-read my post and I just want to make sure that me mentioning my daughter's failed try-out does not invalidate the much worse situation your daughter is currently facing. My heart goes out to you both!
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I'm sorry you and your daughter are having such a rough patch. It helps to vent - and we all know those feelings.

    One suggestion - the D camps have scholarships, you might look into that before you give up on the idea.

    Hang in there, hopefully things will turn around soon.
     
  4. kt_mom

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    Thanks, it really does help to know that others understand.

    My mom called to check in on DD and was sympathetic but I don't think anyone understands how hard this past year has been for her. Because they see her manage her D so well, (testing, treating, giving her own shots) I think they think she's "over it". But she's not and this let down is going to be harder because of it I think.

    I would feel bad trying to get her a scholarship for camp because I know there are probably kids that only get to go to camp and maybe only because they can get a scholarship. DD will get to go on a family vacation this summer and later this fall. And I know she would rather do those trips then camp. But we are going to put it in the budget for next summer for sure. I appreciate the advice though!
     
  5. quiltinmom

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    I am so sorry. That's hard. I know this might not help you feel better now, but it might be of some comfort later....I find that often, after a series of hits, something wonderful happens later. Sometimes the bad things actually help the good thing be able to happen. Hopefully it will be that way for her. Waiting for it is hard. It's hard now, when you can't see the end from the beginning. I am so sorry.

    I second the idea of finding a way to get help sending her to d camp. Ours won't turn anyone away for financial reasons....maybe yours can help you out, too. Or maybe if you have a church or other organization they could help. $300 doesn't seem too hard to be able to raise, perhaps a bake sale or a car wash? There is a local car wash that will donate proceeds of the day toward some worthy cause. Be creative. She will see you working to send her to camp and she will feel so much support from you and others. D camp is the one place int he world she will feel normal. She will truly feel like she fits in. My Ds doesn't seem to let diabetes bother him much, and even he has expressed feeling like d camp is the only place where people aren't always staring at him when he tests his blood and stuff. D camp isn't the same for everyone, but it certainly is second only to Christmas for a lot of kids. :)


    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2014
  6. Lightly Salted

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    This first summer after diagnosis, though, and all those other disappointments, I would really, really, really urge you to contact them about scholarships. Our d camp always saves spots for newly diagnosed kids. They know you haven't had as much time to save for camp, like you can for next year.
     
  7. kt_mom

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    Thanks everyone, the support here is wonderful. I keep telling her that God is planning something wonderful for her, its just not her time yet. I think she is starting to think I'm full of it. I know in my heart that there really are wonderful things in store for her, this is just a tough season in her life. Its just so hard to see your child hurting.

    I'll have to call the camp and see, but I looked at the forms online and they seem to have pretty strict restrictions on the financial aid and we make too much and it looks like we missed the registration deadline. The camp we were looking at is Camp too Sweet in Roanoke, Va since its only about an hour away. Maybe there is another one I can look into.
     
  8. wilf

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    So sorry she's having a tough year. Disappointments often come in bunches. :(

    Did she not make either the cheerleading or praise team because of her Type 1 D?
     
  9. kt_mom

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    I don't think so. I did put it on both forms when I turned them in.

    I honestly think she didn't make the praise team becuase they asked if anyone was going to have to miss a practice and I noted Mother's day weekend because we had planned to go visit her best friend in CT that weekend, but it ended up my husband couldn't get the time off. So I guess that was just one more thing that's got DD down. She missed out on praise team and then didn't even get to make the trip and she desperately misses her bff that moved away.

    As far as the cheerleading, I know there is a highschool cheerleader that DD has met in the nurses office that's type 1, so I don't think it had anything to do with it. When she did the cheerleading this year on a squad they have for elementary kids I tried to talk to the head coach about the type 1 and she kind of blew me off like it was no big deal.

    But either way I don't think either cut had to do with Type 1, if I thought for a minute that it did I would pursue it.

    Each disappointment in itself is not the end of the world, its just that she keeps getting disappointed over and over and over. I just wish she could get a break somewhere. And to be honest I'm not sure that she doesn't blame D for missing out on this stuff. In her mind I think all roads lead back to the D. It makes her different from the kids around her and heading into middle school being different is the last thing in the world they want.
     
  10. Christopher

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    Coming to this a little late. I just wanted to say that Danielle went through something similar last year. She has been involved in dance for years and before she started her freshman year of high school she REALLY wanted to make the Poms squad. I mean she was Obsessed. She practiced very very hard and tried out and didn't make it. She was really devastated. So even though she never really liked tennis her and a friend tried out for the tennis team and made it instead. Turns out she loves it and is getting pretty good at it.

    So now it is the end of her freshman year and there are Poms tryouts again. As before, she REALLY wanted it badly. She practiced till she was bruised and sore. This time she made it.

    So maybe there is another activity your daughter can get involved in until the next tryouts and she can keep at it until she makes the squad?

    We all want our children to be happy and successful but sometimes it is good for them to be disappointed and learn the skills of perseverance and how to handle those feelings and situations. It also may open up other things that they may not have tried that they end up liking. I know she may not be able to understand or appreciate that right now, but maybe it can help you feel a little less badly for her. And we both know that in time, her break will come. :smile:
     

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