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Religion... or lack of, really

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by ashtensmom, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. bnmom

    bnmom Approved members

    Oct 26, 2010
    I'm struggling with religion, and have for years, but because I envy people with true faith. I want that.

    But regardless of anyone's religious belief, there is no way your beliefs caused D. God would never spite like that and this isn't your fault.
  2. Lakeman

    Lakeman Approved members

    Nov 10, 2010
    Perhaps people did not believe that in the ancient age either:)

    Prior to Augustine (about 300 AD) people believed that each person was born innocent (which is what the Talmud teaches). Since Augustine only some Christians believe that men are born in a state of original sin. By this do they mean that each person is born a sinner or that through Adam sin enters the world and each person through his own choices at some point sins? I think the latter. Nevertheless, Adam sinned and all of us experience a world that is corrupted.
  3. lamia

    lamia Approved members

    Aug 6, 2011
    In my religious, we believe bad things happen for many reasons. some times bad things can be good in other ways that we don't see, this reminds me of a story that i'll tell you the summary of it, it's about an old wise man lives in a village when bad things happen to him, he doesn't talk he just be patient one of these things was that his son fell from a horse and his leg was hurt so bad, all people in village told him how unfortunate he was, and then a war came over, all the village boys had to go except his injured son, and they all were killed in the war. the point of the story, you might think this is a bad thing but you never know what God is keeping for you.
    sometimes God reminds us of all the blessings we have and how we need to be thankful for him, sometimes he wants us to get back to him.
    sometimes bad and good things too are tests for us, he tests us when giving us something good, what are we going to do with it, will we be thankful, like if have a lot of money will we help the poor, bad things can be a test of patience and belief. For me, i know believing gives me a relief to my soul and a power that helps me handling bad things.
    Good luck to you all finding what gives you power and relief.

    Mom to Salma dx at 12/2009 age now 6.5y
    Omar dx at 6/2011 age now 9.5y
  4. obtainedmist

    obtainedmist Approved members

    Aug 3, 2010
    This says it all to me! Amen!
  5. Lisa P.

    Lisa P. Approved members

    May 19, 2008
    Very old question -- why does the God of the Old Testament seem to be so angry and scary?
    Lots of good answers in lots of churches. It's not something no one has ever addressed! :p I personally love this line and like to read it as "jealous" because it puts me in mind of a wife or husband who is upset at the idea of his or her spouse looking at another -- it's very intimate, personal, and anthropomorphized. It makes it real to me, it's not that he wants no idolatry because it's stupid or because it's a rule or because he's the BMOC -- he wants to jealously own my love for just himself.
    But, if you don't like the word, go to the library or book store or google and find a bunch of translations with commentary. You'll get a deeper meaning of the line. You may not like it still, but it doesn't mean what a light out of context reading would have you think. Just like a couple lines out of the Iliad or the Qur'an are unlikely to mean what you think they do from a breezy read.

    As for the OP, many of the folks I know who grew up outside of religion have a poor vision of what Christianity actually is -- naturally. So it's easy to mix up superstitious or magical thinking with religious faith (so easy that many religious people do it all the time, I'm Catholic and I have to remind myself all the time of the difference because my religion has so much ritual). Christianity serves many of the same purposes as the old pagan religions (references in PP), which probably came from that very human impulse to look at your house after it's struck by lightening and say, "What god can I do what for so that doesn't happen again?" :p

    Christian baptism doesn't save you from diabetes any more than falling in love and getting married can save you from cancer, any more than giving birth to your first beautiful baby can save you from getting in a car crash. The first things are acts of love, the second incidents of suffering. One can make the other more bearable, but one doesn't stop the other from happening. :cwds:

    Hope your interest brings you peace and the knowledge you are looking for. Sometimes when you enter into religious practices it can be hard, challenging. But if you find it brings you anxiety and fear, it's not Christ you're following. If anyone is making you anxious and fearful, they are bringing you the wrong message.

    Hope you get the answers you are looking for, here and elsewhere.
  6. manda81

    manda81 Approved members

    Feb 17, 2010
    This is solely just my opinion, based on my faith, so you can take it with a grain of salt, if it does not apply.

    I do not believe for one moment that the God I believe in, punishes us or our children by giving them diseases, or "allowing" them to have a disease. I believe as the bible says, that it is Satan who comes to kill, steal and destroy. Not God.

    My God is a jealous God, yes. He's told me that many times in scripture. He's also told me that my sins are washed clean by the blood of his son, and that he gave up his son so that I (you, he, she, all of them) can be forgiven. I don't believe for a moment that he would punish me out of jealousy for something he's already forgiven me for.

    There is nothing you did/didn't do to cause diabetes. Bad things happen to good people all the time. As a previous poster stated, I think God all the time for insulin, pumps, CGMs, etc, all the things we have now that allow my son to have a full, normal, healthy life.

    If you want to punish yourself, there are plenty of ways. Lack of faith, diet, things you did/didn't do while you were pregnant, things you did/didn't do before they were diagnosed... the list of "what if" is eternal.

    The absolute best thing we did after diagnosis was move on. We grieved the loss of what we thought the future would be like, we accepted our "new" normal, and we made diabetes fit our lives. We did not force our lives to fit this disease, we don't cave to it, and we don't dwell on it. We thank God for insulin, our doctors, and researchers. We pray for protection, for peace. But we live the lives we feel like we are so blessed to have. Yes, our son has diabetes, and both of our sons have Celiac Disease. But they are still with us, and we're so blessed to have them in our lives, that those little things just cease to hold any importance over enjoying our lives.

    I pray for your kids, even if you don't. ;) I pray for every child who's at the doctors today and got this diagnosis, I pray for the doctors, the parents, and those who don't know yet, but that T1 is looming over. It doesn't stop it from happening, but I hope at least some people feel the comfort of knowing they're not alone.

  7. MySweethearts

    MySweethearts Approved members

    Jun 21, 2006
    God loves you and your DD. I think we will not know exactly why things like this happen, but He is my strength through these trials. I could never face everyday with out His Grace and Hope for us. To answer your question, no I do not think God punished your DD. He has great things in store for your DD and your family. ((((hugs))))
  8. pianoplayer4

    pianoplayer4 Approved members

    Feb 13, 2010
    It is not your fault that your dd had diabetes, I've gone to church my whole life and Started a personal relationship with God when I was four and I got d. I don't think that God punishes us for not knowing Him by handing out trials, I think that going through a trial without God is punishment enough. God has a plan for every one, for some reason your dd's has diabetes in the Plan.
    But God still loves her ( and you) even if you don't go to church.

    The only punishment for not having a personal relationship with the Lord is eternal separation from God.
  9. denise3099

    denise3099 Approved members

    Jul 31, 2009
    Thinking of baptism as an act of love is just such a beautiful sentiment. Thank you. :)
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2011
  10. denise3099

    denise3099 Approved members

    Jul 31, 2009
    Annabanana, post #18 was just lovely. Thank you so much for sharing your faith and belief with us.

    I'm not religious but I do enjoy religion so--I think it's so beautiful and it makes me feel good. To me the best aspecs of religion is like art, it's trancendent and lovely and makes me feel connected to the rest of the world. The catholic rituals I grew up with comfort me still and make me feel closer to my family and like part of the universe. I think it's so beautiful and important.

    Thank you for your beautiful words and point of view. :)
  11. aslan1994

    aslan1994 Approved members

    Apr 2, 2011
    Thank you Anna for putting into words exactly what I've been feeling. My husband & I are also believers and your post reminded me of the bigger picture - which we don't now see. No, we don't have to like it (diabetes); but knowing that the God who created us will give us the grace and strength to weather this storm is sometimes the only thing that gets me through this.
  12. MamaBear

    MamaBear Approved members

    Jul 20, 2010
    I'm in the same frame of mind as Becky. I am what I call a "reformed Catholic". ;)

    Now I don't believe for a minute that god gave your child D to punish you. As you see from other posts on this board, there are plenty of people who do go to church and are faithful to their god, and yet they are still dealing with Diabetes, cancer,autism,all sorts of things. My own parents were very active in their parish. They were Eucharistic ministers,and never missed a mass. They were good loving people, to everyone, and yet they died very young, one in a violent accident, one of pancreatic cancer shortly after. From what I saw growing up, they were definitely in god's good graces, so none of that could have been a punishment. I think sometimes bad things happen and sometimes we just don't have an explanation for it. But no I don't think your child's D is a punishment at all.

    This touches me personally in a way. For many years I have felt very resentful towards certain details of both my mother's life and her death. I resented very much growing up with a mother who was a nutritionist, and who spent just over 2 decades working for 3 of the top weight loss companies in the US. I grew up with food scales and measuring and weighing food, and since childhood have had the ability to eyeball food and tell you exactly how many oz. , fluid oz it was, or if a bowl of dry cereal is 1 cup or 3/4 cup. I hated the issues it left me with.
    I resented that when she was dying I was left to care for her by myself, and that I had to manage a special diet and 14 meds per day. I resented it even more when they added injections to the mix and I could not sleep because for the first two days she had to have injections every few hours. It was exhausting and upsetting and too much for a teenager to do alone.
    But 20 years after her death,and 1 year after my son's diagnoses, I have a VERY different point of view. Though I can never figure a reason I lost my parents so young, I do believe that I needed to grow up weighing and measuring food, and I needed to learn to give my mother injections on little to no sleep, so that I would be able to care for my son today.
  13. deafmack

    deafmack Approved members

    Sep 22, 2006
    All I know is that bad things happen to one no matter if they are religious or not. I know for me it has drawn me closer to God. It has also made me a more compassionate and patient person. I think having to watch my Sister every day deal with progressive brain damage as a result of treatment for primary brain cancer has had a large part to play in all of this. I have learned that I can repeat myself 1,000 times when she asks me the same question every day, day after day and I can answer and show her the same thing day after day and it doesn't bother me in the least. It is hard seeing her regress and I know it has to be so for her. It has taught me compassion and understanding and patience in ways I never thought I had or needed to have. I always have been a compassionate and caring person, but this has opened my eyes to how many more ways I can be that and more. For me whether it be Diabetes or some other illness or crisis, it has been a "blessing" that I can't explain.
  14. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Nov 17, 2005
    10 years ago this Sunday, something bad happened to 2, 796 people. Some were religious, some were not. Was it's God's fault this happened? Was it there fault because of their beliefs? No. Some crazy people punished those people along with their children and families by taking or injuring loved ones.

    My friends niece was starting a new job on Sep. 11 at the WTC. She had always dreamed of working there. She was so excited, she was afraid she was going to oversleep. So, she called her mother the night before and told her to give her a wake up call to be safe. That morning, work was being conducted outside her building resulting in the power and phone going out. She didn't get her wake up call nor did her alarm go off. She didn't get on the road until an hour later. As she was traveling to work, the building she would have worked in collapsed. Did God do this? No. It was just sheer coincidence that this happened. Much like people missing being on one of the planes, going down one stairwell as opposed to the other.

    I guess what I am saying is that your child did not get diabetes because of your beliefs. I am a church goer, feel I am more spiritual than religious, my daughter still got diabetes. Try to stop worrying about the "what if's" and be thankful for living in a time and place where they have a way to treat diabetes.
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2011
  15. saxmaniac

    saxmaniac Approved members

    Jun 1, 2007
    This board has a lot of religious types, plenty of non-religious types, atheists turned religious and formerly religious folks turned atheist.

    We still all wound up with a kid with diabetes.

    So that would be a No.
  16. buggle

    buggle Approved members

    Mar 24, 2008
    Would you even want to worship some god who gave an innocent child diabetes because the parents hadn't figured out what this particular god expected in a world filled with millions of beliefs?
  17. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    No, you did nothing wrong "religious-wise" to cause T1 D. Nothing you did caused it. NO-THING.

    But guilt is a hard beast to tame. I hope you find peace with this.:cwds:
  18. Mom of 3 BOYS

    Mom of 3 BOYS Approved members

    May 14, 2009
    Life is so ironic... some people wonder if their lack of faith could have caused diabetes and then you have me who have wondered if too much faith could have caused it...

    My son was diagnosed exactly 3 years ago today. At the peak of my faith and relationship with Jesus. God had done so many wonderful things in my life, and I was happy and following him with all my heart. As a matter of fact, that same weekend we were going on a retreat with our church... I had been praying for God to change my life in more ways that would glorify him and make him proud of the person I was becoming.... Then in an instant my life changed and my son was diagnosed with this horrible disease that I so passionately hate!

    After 3 years my heart still aches and i wonder why God chooses not to cure my son even though I have prayed and begged and pleaded with him.

    At the same time I have seen the amazing things that have happened since then, how diabetes has brought our family closer and how we are different in more good ways than bad. I am thankful that I got pregnant 1 month after diagnosis and had this beautiful little boy who brings joy and laughter through hard times. I am thankful that my boys look out for each other and worry about each other... I am thankful that my children have learned empathy, they have learned that we all have something "different" and its ok. I am thankful that I have learned to value life in a different way.. my perspective on life has changed and I know that a more expensive purse is not as important as spending that extra time together as a family... I have learned that life is short so we have to make the best of it...

    There are so many goods and on paper the list of bad are not as long but I still cry. I still worry. I still remember how things were... I still hope, I still wish and I still wish that it would go back to the way it once was... Life sucks sometimes, and when I stop to think about it I realize that things just happen it could have been worse or it could have been better... but this is what we got and we have to keep on fighting.

    My relationship with God has never been the same... not better or worse, but different but then again I have changed too so that's probably why...

    Sorry to have gone on and on.... it was just one of those nights :(
  19. momandwifeoftype1s

    momandwifeoftype1s Approved members

    Mar 4, 2008
    What brings comfort to me as a Christian is that God sent his only son to Earth to die in order to save us for our sins. I know how much I love my sons, and I could never have enough love in me for other people to bring a child into the world only to die for someone else. I'm too selfish. I'd want to do everything in my power to protect my child from harm. But God watched his son as he grew in his mother's womb. He watched as he became a toddler, a child, and an adult. He knew where the story would end, but yet he didn't step in to stop it from happening (which he could have done at any time because he's God). No. He chose to bare the pain, knowing that the end result would be for the good of all his children. I feel comfort knowing that God knows the worst kind of pain and shares it with me. I am quite certain that the pain I felt when Connor was diagnosed was equally felt (if not more so) by God. He feels Connor's pain. He understands, and He is always there for me to know that I am not alone. Ever. And through Him and his suffering, I will have eternal life. God is love. Love beyond reason; beyond comprehension.
  20. twodoor2

    twodoor2 Approved members

    Oct 30, 2007
    I've been an atheist since the age of 8 (after my first science class in school), and much to the chagrin of my parents. From an Atheist perspective, if there was a God, why would he/she/it cause so much sufferring in the world? Not trying to convert people of faith to my ways, as I do respect why people believe in God or gods, and/or belong to an organized religion.

    Therefore, if a God or gods (not all people worship just one god) can allow so much suffering to happen to good and pious people, it would be illogical for the god(s) to give your child D. Hope that helps, even if it is from a "heathen." LOL!

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