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Refusing to Check

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by NomadIvy, Apr 12, 2012.

  1. NomadIvy

    NomadIvy Approved members

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    My cwd, who's 2nd year diaversary is coming up next week, has been trying to get away from BG checks. We've always had the occasional "I don't want to check", but this time it's becoming a very big deal. I know she remembers the date of her diagnosis. I've been trying not to make a big deal of it, but she remembers and it's affecting her in some way. How do I deal with this?
    I feel like I have no more energy left -- between dh being away all the time, night time checks, school events, the upcoming move -- I just feel like giving in to her most times.
    I've also never let high BGs affect me too much. But this time, I find myself getting upset at them. Not good, not good at all. :(
     
  2. Amy C.

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    Are you making her do the tests? Perhaps it is time for you to take over for a bit. Your daughter is still young. I would walk over to her with the meter, strips and pricker and have her hold out a finger while you prick and the put the blood on the strip. Then walk away and let her continue with what she was doing.
     
  3. Mrs. Russman

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    I do what Amy C recommends with my teenager sometimes if he hasn't been testing or seems "too busy" to bother. I just go to him and test, give a shot if needed.
    When he says he doesn't want to, I say things like "I don't blame you" or "you don't have to want to" followed by a "You still have to". I got the idea from the wonderful Joe S video stickied at the top of the forums.
     
  4. Beach bum

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    We've been dealing with diabetes for nearly 7 years now. My daughter pretty much does all her checks at schools and extra curricular activities. So, when she's at home, she's had enough. If we ask to check she refuses. We say, but we have to so bring your meter over here so we can help you out and take care of business. Or if she's particularly prickly about it, we just go over to her and tell her give me a finger (not the finger:D), we test and correct if needed. This is the big plus of the ping, that remote. No need to dig the pump out:)

    I have to say, with just this small responsibility, she does get burnt out. So we take as much of the burden off her as possible so that we can reinforce to her that although we all hate it and we all hate checking, it's necessary and non-negotiable.

    Hang in there, I can only imagine how hard it is having to do it almost single handed and coordinating a move on top of it.
     
  5. DsMom

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    If you think her upcoming diaversary is affecting her, I'd ask her about it, even if you would rather it go by unnoticed. From year one, we made my son's diaversaries a happy, "mini-birthday" for which he gets a fun day as a recognition for how hard and annoying D is throughout the year. He picks what we have for dinner, we have an ice cream cake, and he gets a small gift. Perhaps, even if you don't think a diaversary should be a big fuss, a big fuss is what your daughter may need as a morale booster for all she endures. If you provide a lot of positive reinforcement for the things she does do to manage her D, it may inspire her to be a little more willing to have her BG checked.

    Also, I agree that, for young kids, the whole responsibility of BG checks should not be on their shoulders. My son is 7, and I do the vast majority of his BG checks...he is only now just starting to do some...maybe a few times per week. This is definitely a burden that needs to be eased onto their shoulders slowly...sadly, they have plenty of years ahead to assume the responsibility on their own.:cwds:

    Good luck!
     
  6. Helenmomofsporty13yearold

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    Your little princess is sensing how overwhelmed you are feeling and testing you. If you can use the same firm tone of voice that you would use to tell her she must check both ways before crossing the street, she will get the message that not testing is not an option. The OP's are right about taking over the testing at home to give her a break.
    (As a single mom who often feels overwhelmed, I find it helps a lot if I remember to ask HIM to hold my hand through the rough spots.)
     
  7. Becky Stevens mom

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    Ivy, im sorry youre going through this. Your plate runneth over honey:( I think the 2nd year diaversary is a tough one, it was for me. The first year was spent in shock, living on adrenaline and just trying to get everything figured out. The 2nd year, things have sunk in, you know what youre doing and you know its not going away:( maybe you can talk to her and ask if she needs you to take over some of the day time testing for now so she doesnt feel as burdened by her diabetes. i know when Steven is busy, he has a rough time testing or brushing his teeth or even having something to eat:rolleyes:

    And its normal to get upset with the high numbers and take it as a personal affront. It took me awhile to just test, look at the number and keep on truckin. When youre stressed with other things going on it makes it seem just that much more to deal with.

    youre an amazing lady Ivy. Dont ever sell yourself short and dont ever think youve got to do it all. Let somethings slide, overlook the messes and make sure the kids help out
     
  8. TheFormerLantusFiend

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    Can you say that if she fights more than some number of finger sticks per some time period, she has to wear a sensor?
     
  9. StillMamamia

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    For the refusing to test, take over that part. Kids just get tired and sometimes are too busy to stop and test. Take over and test her yourself and say something like "Hey, thanks. You're doing great." If she says she's tired of testing, acknowledge that that's totally normal, but that testing still needs to be done and you're proud of her when she cooperates.

    Burn-out.:( I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I know it's hard to remind ourselves of this, but again, don't expect perfection 24/7/365. Sh*t happens with D. You know you're proactive, you know what to look for, just keep doing that. She may be going through a big growth spurt as well. Don't hesitate to ask for suggestions here or from your endo. Are you in contact with Gary Scheiner? If so, ask him for help.

    Take it one day at a time when you can, and don't expect to be super-mom all the time. Capes need washing too, you know.;)
     
  10. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

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    Validate her feelings, let her share more about it.... Maybe set up some small reward system for getting the checks done per day (whether you do them, or she does them) (for every 50 checks....). She should feel proud of herself for getting them done, especially when she didn't want to too.
     
  11. Beach bum

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    IMO, this would be a form of punishment. You wouldn't want to position it this way so that if a sensor is needed to help figure out problems down the road it will be seen as a negative and not as a positive.
     
  12. virgo39

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    Ivy,
    So sorry to hear that you have so much on your own shoulders at this time--and especially sorry to hear that your DD is having a tough time.

    When DD doesn't want to test or wear a pump, or whatever, I do my best to respect and acknowledge her feelings, while at the same time letting her know that certain things -- like testing, taking insulin, etc. -- are unfortunately non-negotiable. If she doesn't want to do them, we will.

    We have, on occasion rewarded her too, though. If she tries a new site location or otherwise tolerates something.

    Can you talk to her about the upcoming anniversary? I wasn't sure if you were sensing the effect it was having on her or she was talking about it.

    I cannot believe how much you do on your own--you are truly amazing--my DH has been out of town for only 3 days, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

    Is there anyway that you can get a break? Can an older sister help a bit?

    Sending positive thoughts in your direction!
     
  13. Jeff

    Jeff Founder, CWD

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  14. NomadIvy

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    Thanks for your replies. Sorry, didn't make it clear - we do test for her, unless I'm doing something that I can't get out of (like driving!). She wants to go to FFL again this year, but we can't since it'll be right when we move, we couldn't. I think it'll do us both good to get together with some D families soon. She doesn't like to go to a camp -- unless it's the "Riding on Insulin" with Sean Busby.

    I know this is just a phase but it breaks my heart to see her intensely aware of her diaversary. I did order her an engraved necklace with 3 discs -- one says Type 1 Diabetes, then Insulin Pump, and Hope. She mentioned a few months ago after she saw my "mommy necklace" with their names engraved on 4 diff. discs that she'd like one for herself. I'm hoping it gets here before next Tuesday.
     
  15. Annapolis Mom

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    I've been trying something new with my kids--asking them for advice. My daughter is 7.5 and I usually lay out the situation as I see it and ask what she thinks I should do. You might be surprised by her answer.

    I've also started loading on the kindness when I see difficult behavior. As in, "honey, you've been having a tough time of it with your diabetes. Let's just spend the next hour watching TV together (or whatever)."

    Good luck, whatever approach you take.
     
  16. DsMom

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