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Question I was not prepared to answer . . .

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by aidensmom, Sep 6, 2010.

  1. aidensmom

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    So, yesterday we were at a cookout and after I dosed Aiden he turned to me (very nonchalantly) and said "Mom, why did God give me diabetes?" :( Of course, it broke my heart and I had to keep myself composed although I wanted to break down. I just replied quickly that it was because God knew that he was a really brave boy. He accepted that answer and went back to playing with the other kids. I just wondered if anyone had a better answer if this comes up again. He's only 4 and I just was caught off guard. Some days this disease really stinks! :mad:
     
  2. swellman

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    Well ... in my opinion, the only real answer is that god did not give him diabetes. I'm not prepared to expand on that publicly but if you wish to continue a discussion on the topic I would be more than willing via PM.
     
  3. sooz

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    I have not gotten this particular question, but Hailey also wears hearing aids and we discuss her D and her hearing aids by saying, well, grandma wears glasses to help her see, you wear hearing aids to help you hear, everyone needs help in some way. Some people need insulin. It is just a matter of fact answer.

    I think when a child asks a question such as your son did, it is good to turn the question back to him and ask him "why do you think you got D?" It might be surprising what his thoughts are on the subject. Obviously he has been thinking about it.
     
  4. Christopher

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    Personally, I would not go down the road that "God gave him" diabetes. I know he is only 4 and it sounds like the answer you gave satisfied him, which is good. But to me, the idea of God choosing to give people horrible, life threatening diseases like cancer or diabetes just seems wrong. Unless you actually believe that God personally picked your son and not the little boy next door to give this to. Then by all means go down that road.

    This is just me, but I think I would approach it from a biological perspective. "Honey, some people's pancreas works fine and others, like yours, don't. We don't know why this happens to some people and not to others, but we are lucky that we have things like insulin and bg meters that can help you be healthy and strong."

    I don't know.....that is tough one...
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2010
  5. LizinTX

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    I am also in the camp of "God didn't give them this disease". I also like the idea of asking the question back to him, and seeing where his thought processes really are. Kind of like the joke where the little girl says she knows how babies are made---after the mom takes a deep breath and braces herself for "the" talk, the little girl says...change the "y" to "i" and "es".

    Anyways, sounds like you satisfied him this time.
     
  6. swellman

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    Ah fooey.

    To be perfectly honest, I find it heartbreaking that a child would think there's a omnipotent being looking down on, protecting and guarding the world that chose to deliver a chronic disease to him/her - it actually makes me want to cry just thinking of what that poor child must feel.
     
  7. StillMamamia

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    Got a surprise for you. I agree with you.:eek::eek: (did I just see a donkey fly??:D).

    Yeah, but this is not about our religious beliefs or not. It's about the difficulty in answering an innocent question. I honestly do not know what I'd answer. Seems like he was satisfied with your answer, so...:cwds:
     
  8. swellman

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    A broken clock is right twice a day. ;)
     
  9. aidensmom

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    Thanks so much for all of your help. I really appreciate all the different perspectives. I was thinking the same thing after wards . . . as far as, I don't want him thinking that God gave him this horrible disease, but I was just kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond. I'm not sure what made him come up with this question. He's said many times that he wished he didn't have diabetes and why does he have it and we don't. I've used the glasses, allergies, everyone has something thing then, so I guess it would be good to use here too. I've been really bothered by this and just wish I would have been more prepared with a better response.

    Thanks for the help! :cwds:
     
  10. ecs1516

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    My sons have asked the same question at a older age. I did not know how to answer.
     
  11. StillMamamia

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    Have no idea what this means.
     
  12. Lisa P.

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    This is very insightful.

    I love it that kids are not afraid to ask the fundamental questions of life. And they don't find it sad, they just want to know. Why God allows suffering is a huge question that broods in all of us but is only asked out loud by theologians and four year olds (both of which usually find some good answers if they are allowed to think about it a bit). Since we want to deny the question, it sounds like a sad question to us, but it isn't for a boy. He just wants an answer 'cause he's been wondering and all and then he wants to go play. Good for your son for being curious and open, and good for you to be able to think on your feet!
     
  13. swellman

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  14. Jake'sMama

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    I agree that disease is not from God. I don't get into it in detail (my theology on this) with Jake, but tell him what God did give him was insulin, supplies and a brave spirit to deal with it all.

    Dh is a hemophiliac so sometimes I defer these "life isn't fair" questions to him. They can bond in a way I cannot.

    Breaks my heart though - these kids keep going to back to what did I do to deserve this? Of course, nothing.

    hugs
     

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