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Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by shannong, Oct 21, 2013.

  1. shannong

    shannong Approved members

    Sep 15, 2012
    I'm encountering a whole new set of circumstances now that my son is 7 years old and playdates no longer include the parents. I posted a little while ago asking what to do about birthday parties (which I did end up just going to). Now I am wondering about playdates.

    My son recently has formed a friendship with a boy on his hockey team. He plays 4 times a week, so sees this boy quite a bit and they get along great. We had this boy over for a playdate on the weekend, but now the boy's family would like to have my son over to their house next. They do not live in our neighborhood. Their house is about a 20 to 30 minute drive away. Like we did with their son, they want to have him come over after a hockey practice. After hockey, my son's blood sugars can be all over the place. He can be high from the adrenaline, but then crash later. I don't feel comfortable letting him go. How can I be polite about declining the invitation? How much explanation should I go into about diabetes? And am I being over-protective? I mean he does go to school all day without me.

    Thanks for any input.
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Sep 23, 2007
    I'm in the camp of letting them do anything I would have let my kid do prior to dx.

    I would encourage you to find some way to let him go. Can he check his own bg? Can he bolus himself? Can you be there at the end of practice, check him, make a small correction if needed then give him instructions to check again in a hour?

    Maybe the playdate will be a little shorter than it might be without D, maybe you want to encourage low carb snacks, maybe your son needs a cell phone to be able to call you for instructions.

    Regarding what to tell the other parents. I always tried to keep it short and sweet. She always brought a bag with a tester and juice boxes. I warned the parents that her blood sugar could go low and if it did she would need a juice box. I left my cell # and gradually increased the duration of the playdate as I got a feel for how things were going.

    Baby steps.:cwds: It's not easy, but it's important.
  3. Helenmomofsporty13yearold

    Helenmomofsporty13yearold Approved members

    Oct 5, 2008
    After-hockey adrenalin crashes can be tricky, so I totally understand your concerns. Can they play together before hockey? I always had the kids on D's teams over to our house after games and practices. The other Moms were more than happy with that. Your son is still very young.

    The other possibility is to try to run him high for that hour. He probably won't be so high anyway as they will be playing.

    I think DD was was about 12 before I did not park outside a home or sit in a nearby coffee shop while she was on a playdate. Fortunately, I was friends with the parents of most of her friends and we would visit together.
  4. dshull

    dshull Approved members

    Sep 24, 2012
    My son is 8 and we encounter this all this time. It is so important to them at this age to be getting more independent and diabetes is such a PITA in that department. A nurse told me that every time I was nervous about letting my son do something, I should ask myself, would I have let him do this if he did not have diabetes? And if the answer was yes, that I should work really hard to make it happen.

    How long would the playdate be? 2 hours? Could you sit at a coffee shop close by so you could run over and if need be?

    I know it is so hard. And if you're like me, I feel like if I tried to explain to people I don't know too well what could go wrong and why I worry, they would look at my 8 year old who runs around just like every other kid and think I am a worrying and overprotective mother. But we know you're not!

    I would probably have a chat with the parents and see if there is something you can do close by while he is at the playdate. I have sat in my car in a parking lot at a birthday party and read a book just so my son could be "independent" at a party. Sounds crazy maybe but I actually enjoyed the 90 minutes of peace and quiet!
  5. ksartain

    ksartain Approved members

    Dec 21, 2012
    I'm still not too comfortable letting Chris go play at other people's houses. He has one friend who he can visit, but the friend's mom is an internal medicine doctor. ;)

    I'm working on my anxieties letting him go someplace where the parents might not be able to deal with an extreme low, which happens often with Chris because he is so darn sensitive to activity. He will drop from 199 to mid 30's after just 20 minutes of hard playing.

    But I know that's not fair to him, so I'm trying really hard. You're not alone in this. :)
  6. StacyMM

    StacyMM Approved members

    Oct 22, 2010
    I'd explain the concern with bg levels and suggest an alternate time. I'd rather have a great 2-3 hour time with easier maintenance that would encourage the other parents to invite my kid back ;) I'm obviously not of the 'if they would do it without diabetes...' camp because they DO have diabetes and I'm not big on hypotheticals. There are times my kids can't play at a neighbor's, or go on long bike rides, or sleep through the night, or whatever. We just figure out the best plans we can but recognize that diabetes does change our lives.
  7. Ali

    Ali Approved members

    Aug 1, 2006
    A compromise might be to plan a play date or sleepover not related to sports. If that is the route you go just say this year it's easier for everyone if he spends time away from home on a non sports day. If you want to make it work then get your endo team working with you so you feel comfortable.:confused::)ali
  8. mamattorney

    mamattorney Approved members

    Apr 9, 2013
    First, I'm sure they suggested the playdate to be after hockey because it's convenient, not for any other reason.

    Second, maybe it's just me, but I just want the kids to be able to get together, I don't really care whose house it's at. My son has a friend who never comes over to our house because he is crazy allergic to our dog. Sometimes I'll be "in charge" and take the kids to the pool or a park or something, but our house is absolutely off limits. I don't get upset about it; I mean, what are you going to do? In fact it's kind of nice to not have to play the reciprocation game ;)

    Do they know he has diabetes?

    I would just be honest, but upbeat about it, and say that 75% of the time everything's fine, but you'd hate to have things go goofy the very first time he's over at his friend's house, so could you plan it for a non-hockey day or before practice or whenever it would fit.

    I swear, virtually every kid in our town has a "thing" - whether it's allergies, food , medical issues or (in the case of one of my daughter's friends) shared parenting time that makes a kid totally unavailable half the time. Not going over to friend's houses after hockey may be your kid's "thing". Honestly, and I don't want to belittle the situation, no one really cares in the grand scheme of things. It just gets worked out some other way.
  9. Lizzy731

    Lizzy731 Approved members

    Apr 22, 2007
    I got Bethany a cell phone in the middle of 2nd grade. She texts me from play dates when her Dex alarms and if she eats anything. She can bolus, test, and count carbs independently. Now she has an iPhone because the carb couting apps are invaluable. The cell phone has been a God send. I highly recommend any D child has one as long as they can text or use it to call you.
  10. shannong

    shannong Approved members

    Sep 15, 2012
    Thanks for all the feedback. I realize after reading the posts, that despite my first response always being NO, I can make these things happen with some careful planning. It will be so worth it for my son! Thanks!

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