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Paying for the sins of his father....or in this case, mother.

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by JJsMomma, Oct 28, 2009.

  1. JJsMomma

    JJsMomma Approved members

    Sep 25, 2009
    I couldn't even make this stuff up....what has been happening to us recently. We are now in the Alberta Children's Hospital for our OTHER son....my beautiful 2 week old son Kai. Please pray for us!!!

    I am not overly religious (well, not at all in fact) but I do try to be grateful for what I have and always approach things with the belief of 'it could always be so much worse'. I have always been intrigued by the saying of sons paying for their father's (and mother's?) sins, hence the biblical quote in my title. I don't know what bad things I or Jeff have done in our lives but seriously....I am a little tired and sad about our medical difficulties as of late.

    Sunday night Kai didn't feed well. He had been having some GI issues as well (I won't go into detail except to say no newborns' poops or floofs should ever smell that bad!!!) Monday I started wondering if maybe he had thrush as I had pink eye starting the Monday prior and had been on drops that entire week. I called the Early Start line which is specificly for medical advice for babies under 2 months of age. I mentioned he had a fever of 87.4 and as I laid him down in his bassinette while still on the phone, he had a seizure. They dispatched an ambulance right away and we were taken in. Jeff rushed home from work to care for JJ. At the hospital, they wanted to run three tests....urine test (to test for kidney infection), blood test (to test for infection in the blood) and a Lumbar puncture (aka Spinal tap) to test for infection of the fluids surrounding the brain.

    The urine test came back positive so everyone breathed a sigh of relief saying, ok no big deal.....kidney infection and while serious, certainly the least serious of the three. I was scared to death of the negative possibilities that might occur from doing the spinal tap and just about said no, because clearly, it was just a kidney infection. I opted to do the test regardless, JUST IN CASE. As the doctor was sitting with Jeff and I explaining how it is only a kidney infection requiring 4-5 days stay in the hospital, the other prelim blood results came back. The doctor went very still reading them and I knew...I just bloody well knew. Long story short....Kai has a kidney infection, a hernia, possible kidney development issues, infection of his blood and bacteria in his spinal and brain fluid - bacterial meningitis...a very serious condition...often resulting in death for neonates, and if not death, potential for hearing loss, mental retardation, developmental delays, seizures...you name it. We'll have to watch him for the next 10, 15, 20 years to make sure he is 'normal'....or it could happen as son as tomorrow.

    So we are in the hospital, Kai and I for the next 3 weeks minimum. He had an audiology exam yesterday (little hairs are still moving in both ears which is good), and EEG with about 20 wires connected to measure and monitor brain waves (I had the nurse take a pic of him....heartbreaking). Today is ultrasound on his kidneys and a dye test to see if there is backflow from his output back into his kidneys. As soon as he has 48 hours of negative blood cultures, he will get a pic IV....which involves threading the IV from his hand all the way up his vein to his clavical...because his little 2 week old veins blow out so quickly.

    I am sososososo tired of all of this. I have only started to tell friends...and in a way feel better being able to post anonymously. It is WAY too emotionally draining to have to go over the same story again and again and again....and everyone wants to help and come visit and all I want is a bit of sleep, to hold my baby and to not have to hear him cry or hooked up to a cathedar or the oxygen tubes up his nose or the incessent beeping of the blood HR machine, Ox saturation levels and IV. And of course....I just want him to be happy and healthy.

    I have always tried to be a good person....I have my downfalls and faults and can be a complete b*tch when provoked....but I am not malicious, I am not mean, I am not cruel....so why the heck is this happening to my babies??????
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

    Oct 22, 2005
    I'm so sorry for all you are going through with your precious baby. Prayers and wishes for a full and speedy recovery. Please recognize there is nothing you did to cause this - difficult things happen in life - often completely out of our control. We're here for you.
  3. sam1nat2

    sam1nat2 Approved members

    Jan 24, 2007
    I'm so very sorry. That just sucks!!
    You know, sometimes s&% just happens, even to good people!!
    Just continue to love on those precious little ones of yours.
  4. grantsmom

    grantsmom Approved members

    Jul 29, 2008
    Oh my..all I can tell you is my heart is heavy and I cannot imagine.

    I will pray right now for you.

    Please please keep us updated.
  5. hawkeyegirl

    hawkeyegirl Approved members

    Nov 15, 2007
    I'm so sorry this is happing to your precious boy. How heartbreaking.

    It is human nature to look for a "why", but there are simply no easy answers. You've done nothing to cause any of this, which I know you know deep down. :(
  6. wdhinn89

    wdhinn89 Approved members

    Mar 31, 2007
    I agree with Ellen.

    I am so sorry you all are going through this. Words are hard for me to say how horrible I feel for you. Life is so unfair sometimes.

    I am praying right now for your sweet baby to overcome all he has been dealt with. That he will grow to be strong and free from all side effects. I will also pray for strength for you and your husband. Your family will be in my thoughts. God Bless.
  7. KarenRI

    KarenRI Approved members

    Jul 18, 2007
    I'm sorry to hear little Kai is going though all this. You all are in our thoughts and prayers. Stay strong, as hard as it may seem.
  8. emm142

    emm142 Approved members

    Sep 7, 2008
    My prayers go out to you... Life is so unfair sometimes, and it's just not anybody's fault.
  9. liasmommy2000

    liasmommy2000 Approved members

    Oct 31, 2006
    (((HUGS))), I'm so sorry. Positive thoughts for Kai.
  10. Marcia

    Marcia Approved members

    Feb 22, 2007
    I am so sorry.You did nothing to cause this. There is no higher force that brought this on. It just happened. It sounds like your baby is being very well cared for. There are many positive thoughts headed your way.
  11. twicker1

    twicker1 Approved members

    Apr 10, 2006
    I am so sorry for you and your little ones! I will definitely be saying many prayers, and hoping that God will help lift you up.

    I know that your little one is just a newborn, but I wanted to let you know that I had menengitis when I was 16 months old. At the time, there were only two treatments, and one of those was experimental. They told my parents that I might never walk or talk again, along with all the other problems you described. My grandmother helped teach me to walk again, and I am a proud card carrying member of MENSA.

    Medicine has come such a long way, and it seems like you got him in to the hospital pretty quickly. Please get what little sleep you can so you can listen to what the doctors have to say. I'm sending you HUGS!
  12. buggle

    buggle Approved members

    Mar 24, 2008
    Life can be incredibly unfair. I'm so sorry that you and your family have had to endure so much. Brendan had kidney infections as a baby -- turned out he had kidney reflux, which resolved on its own by the time he was 1 -- even though he had the most severe form. Boys often outgrow the problem -- has to do with the placement of the flap valve in the bladder and growth can change the placement and make it work properly. So if Kai has reflux, I hope he outgrows it.

    The meningitis is very frightening. I've know of babies who've had it and had no issues -- are healthy, thriving children now. It sounds like he's getting the best care. I'm so glad that they went on and did the spinal tap and that all the tests are coming back fine so far. I can't imagine how draining and terrifying this must be. I'll keep you in my thoughts and check back for updates.

    I think you should tell people what you need and want -- tell them that you'll let them know when you want them there and when you need to be alone with Kai. People don't know what to do and they try to be helpful, but often do the wrong thing during an illness and hospitalization.

    Take care of yourself.
  13. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Sep 23, 2007
    I'm so sorry to hear you news. Just know that we're here for you. :cwds:
  14. Becky Stevens mom

    Becky Stevens mom Approved members

    Oct 14, 2008
    Im sitting here crying right now for you. I know that we dont know each other in flesh and blood but in spirit we have a bond because we have children with diabetes. I feel that bond very strongly and ache for you right now. The God that I love and worship isnt spiteful and he loves you I know thats hard to hear right now but he does. I will pray to him and ask that he watch over that sweet baby.
  15. goochgirl

    goochgirl Approved members

    Jul 28, 2008
    I'm so sorry to hear your news. Thank you for taking the time to let us know. (((HUGS))) to little Kai. We will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers. Please update us when you can.
  16. spamid

    spamid Approved members

    Jul 11, 2006

    I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family. PLEASE understand it is NOT your fault!! Sometimes life just sucks! Sending prayers and thoughts your way. Keep us updated when you can.
  17. Barbzzz

    Barbzzz Approved members

    Jul 5, 2008
    I'm so sorry. My prayers are going out to your precious little one.
  18. tom_ethansdad

    tom_ethansdad Approved members

    Apr 24, 2009
    Your precious child is not paying for any sins from either you or your husband. If you look more deeply at what is meant by paying for the sins of the father, it is that if a father leads a sinful life, he will no doubt teach his family/children the same way of life, or they will pick it up from him, and that can have an impact for several generations. Your new son is too young to have picked up any morals, good or bad, from either of you. That is a matter of practicality, not religion.

    Since you titled with a paraphrase from the Bible, some others to consider:

    From Ezekiel 18:20 - "The son shall not be charged with the guilt of his father, nor shall the father be charged with the guilt of his son. The virtuous man's virtue shall be his own, as the wicked man's wickedness shall be his own."

    From 1 Corinthians 10:13 - "No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."

    Not trying to preach, only pointing out that there are many words in the Bible so don't hang your fate or state of mind on any single phrase.

    That being said, my real message is hang in there. Draw strength from those you love and those who love you. Know that good thoughts and well wishes are coming your way from around the world.
  19. Momof4gr8kids

    Momof4gr8kids Approved members

    Sep 3, 2006
    I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) to your family.

    I agree, you need to let people know what you need, and when is a good time for them to visit you and Kai.
    One thing, people really do usually just want to help. If your DH needs help with anything, I'd have him lean on those who are trying to be the most supportive. Maybe he could say something like "right now Kai and his mommy are so exhausted, and really need their rest, but if you have the time, our family could really use help with ________.
  20. MamaC

    MamaC Approved members

    Dec 9, 2006
    I'm very sorry to hear of Kai's illness. I hope for a full and speedy recovery.

    While you are in hospital, if you continue to have internet access, may I suggest you use some of the dragging hours to blog so that your real life contacts can follow your story without you having to retell it over and over. If you can't manage it, perhaps your husband could do it from home.

    I know a lot of people in trying circumstances have done this. When my son was hospitalized last year, I worked on my blog from the hospital. It helped to type it all out and was less draining than telling the tale orally.

    Wishing you all the best.

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