- advertisement -

Parents with older children!!!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by lovemychild, Aug 10, 2013.

  1. lovemychild

    lovemychild Approved members

    Joined:
    May 14, 2013
    Messages:
    52
    Our son was DX 9-30-2011 at the age of 14. He started his new insulin pump a little over a month ago and at his age he is doing wonderful with it. He is now 16 almost 17. As a parent of a older child we don't want to bother them too much or drive them crazy asking them questions about their blood sugars,have you eaten,have you taken insulin,do you need to change your infusion site or how are you feeling. Those questions drive my son crazy! He says to us mom and dad I've got this. He says I know what I'm doing and I'm taking care of my diabetes the way I should. He is a good kid and wants no problems with his health. My question for other parents is:::: Do you always ask questions everyday to make sure they are doing ok with blood sugars and etc? As a parent do I keep asking him questions everyday about his blood sugars and etc?????:):confused::rolleyes: He has the new Tslim insulin pump and loves it!!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2013
  2. nanhsot

    nanhsot Approved members

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,626
    We're a trust but verify family wrt teens. I trust him in all areas but I also verify the trust is earned. For me that simply means I pick up his meter regularly and scroll through it (daily or more, generally).

    Most mornings I do ask, but only because he doesn't tend to see the trends for basal changes and will let things go too long. When he's out and about I ask him to text me his number, particularly in the morning after sleepovers, he does without complaint. (this morning I texted him with a "hey, how's it going", not meaning BG~just wanting to say good morning. He texted back, "88". I texted back with, "that's great but I actually just wanted to say good morning!" So sometimes I think it's important to let them know it's not ALWAYS about numbers!

    I do tell him it's for my peace of mind, and it is. I totally trust him with it because he's shown he can be. If/when that were to change, then I'd get more involved. He knows this, we've discussed it at length.

    I wouldn't say I badger, but I do check on a somewhat regular basis, very casually. I have never asked about site changes, if he bolused/corrected, or anything like that, don't need to, he takes care of that stuff great.

    Bottom line: trust but verify. Ask but not daily, check meters quietly. Discuss when necessary but otherwise let him own it. Sounds like he's doing great to me! I think that when they are diagnosed older management is totally different and they don't really want parents involved as much (not that parents involved is wrong, I just think when a child is diagnosed young it's habitual, and normal for parents to be in the thick of it all, even as they get older).

    He's leaving for college in 2 weeks, so all this will change. It's a difficult time for me, but at this point I really DO trust him with it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2013
  3. lovemychild

    lovemychild Approved members

    Joined:
    May 14, 2013
    Messages:
    52
    Thanks Nanhsot!!!! Your words do make me feel better. This is hard not to ask questions.... He wants to be healthy which is good but it does make me more comfortable to know and helps me to sleep better at night if I know what blood sugars are at bedtime. Thank you so much!:)
     
  4. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,521
    how is his A1c?

    My husband and I met and heard Joe S at FFL in 09 and felt this his talk should be available to people who don't get to go to FFL, http://www.childrenwithdiabetes.com/video/JoeS2.htm I really feel that it's worth the 40 min it takes to hear Joe speak about teens and Type 1.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2013
  5. lovemychild

    lovemychild Approved members

    Joined:
    May 14, 2013
    Messages:
    52
    His last A1C was 7.6 and that was before he got on his new Tslim. He is new to pumping and loves it. We go back to doc the end of September.:)
     
  6. Amy C.

    Amy C. Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    5,560
    I hardly ever talked about diabetes management. I checked his meter and pump every day and would ask if I saw problems. I guess this is similar to what Nancy did.
     
  7. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,521
    He's obviously doing a great job - my only advice would be to make sure that you aren't so out of the loop that were he to get sick or just need a little break that you didn't find yourself clueless about his management.

    I'd ask him to train you on what he does and how the pump works - make him the authority but make sure that you can at least be of help should he have a bad flu or injury and so that he knows that even though he's in the lead, that you have his back. :cwds:
     
  8. KatieSue

    KatieSue Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Messages:
    921
    I just download the meter (we're omnipod). Or I'll flip through it here and there. The dexcom now makes that all much easier I can just look at the chart for the day.

    She's good about letting me know when she's at sleepovers etc. I'll text her things like "yes I know I'm being an insane parent just humor me and text me your number". That seems to let her know it's me being nutty rather than anything to do with her.

    I also try not to to say "what did you eat?" when she ends up high. First triage the problem then see if she knows what happened. But not in a you did anything wrong more of a let's figure out why way.

    I've also had more success asking her not specifically her number but just if they've been good today. Especially if we've had a bad day previously I'll just ask "are your numbers better today?" I get my info but she's not pinned to a specific number. I do try not to ask every day, just if there have been issues. The dexcom helps with this a lot as I can just see things without asking her.
     
  9. nanhsot

    nanhsot Approved members

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,626
    Yes, I think this is an important point. If/when he's high I avoid accusing and just reflect back on him, something along the lines of "that stinks, what do you think is going on??" He almost always knows so it's more of a problem solving thing so he can proceed with fixing the problem.
     
  10. Caldercup

    Caldercup Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2008
    Messages:
    1,008
    We go the "trust but verify" route.

    I will occasionally pull up his BGs on his Ping remote (which stays home while he's at school.) If the numbers don't jibe with what he tells us, or his A1C starts creeping up, we step back in and ask to *see* the BG he just took. We'll stay on top of it until things improve.

    We also make sure to explain that it's all about the "long game" of diabetes management. Keeping his A1C under a certain threshold is important and, if testing and controlling his BGs is a hassle to him, then we'll help take that burden off of him by getting more involved again.

    We find that he would rather keep tighter control himself than have us butt in. So, he gets himself in the right mind-set again.
     
  11. lovemychild

    lovemychild Approved members

    Joined:
    May 14, 2013
    Messages:
    52
    All of this is just hard not to know everything. I trust his judgement and he knows if he doesn't do something right then he will feel horrible and he hates that feeling. I just worry too much and he tells me that all the time. I know how to download his pump to the computer to get the reading but since he has only been on the Tslim for a month he will eat and put blood sugar in and carbs and then he decides he is still hungry and then still hungry again so he just puts carbs in and in order for the readings to be correct you have to put blood sugar readings in everytime and we didn't realize that and that just takes more time so he just does it the easy way and puts carbs only after that first blood sugar reading.:) When we get ready to go back to the doc he will have to write down his readings for 2 weeks which he hates but he has to learn he has to do it.
     
  12. LucyAmber

    LucyAmber Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2012
    Messages:
    116
    Being a teen, Those questions drive me crazy. However, I also communicate with my mom daily about D stuff.

    I agree with trust, but verify.
     
  13. Lee

    Lee Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    9,633
    Well, my daughter had a great A1C until burnout hit - on both of our parts. I would look at her meter every day, but not download, I just took her word for it. Not that she lied, but she wasn't very forthcoming about what was going on - such as missed boluses. With her A1C higher then I even want to say here, we are switching gears. I read her meter every night in front of her, and then I download every other day. I have also bribed her with $ - if she gets it down to a certain point in a month, she earns $20, then if it is down below another # in two months when she meets the endo, she earns $50.

    Her A1C is all due to missed boluses.
     
  14. LJM

    LJM Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,300
    Why is it that burnout always hits kids and parents at the same time. Kind of unjust, but the way it seems to work:mad:
     
  15. Kaylas mom

    Kaylas mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2010
    Messages:
    1,306
    We are the same, Kayla dx at 14.. 17 now, I ask in the am scroll thru the meter, download the pump monthly or more often. Not usually an issue.. Last winter her numbers were horrible, I downloaded, she wasn't bolusing. We talked.. Watched a little closer and things are back on track. I tend to let her be except for those two weeks before an Endo visit, then I harp on her.. Did you bolus? Did you check?
     
  16. nanhsot

    nanhsot Approved members

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,626
    My son never, and I mean NEVER enters his BG or his carbs. He only/always inputs his units. He's had everyone in his team talk to him, he's had the tslim rep, no one can convince him that the pump is of superior ability than his own brain. It's crazy making when it comes time for an endo visit, as they have NO data to go with. He looks at food and makes a general bolus based on how he feels, what he knows his number is, and the amount of food/protein/fat in front of him.

    I've given up trying to change this, it works! I personally would take a more scientific approach but *I* am not the one living with this. His A1C has always been great for a teen in the midst of puberty, he tests regularly, he doesn't forget to bolus. So long as he's taking care of business, I let him do it his way. I have thrown him to the wolf of the endo team more than once, 3 different meters, no info on the pump, no data or log, just his smiling self. A1C under 7 and what can they say? They think he's unique and different and while they may fault his methods they can't really fault his outcome.

    I hear you, trust me. I love the data and I find it all useful and fascinating. He hates taking the time to input it. Ultimately as long as he's taking care of his health and not being an idiot, we have to trust them with it, so that when they leave our home (hello, college in a bit over a week!!), they will continue to understand and manage their health.
     

Share This Page

- advertisement -

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice