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Newly Diagnosed 14 year old - Very Angry

Discussion in 'Parents of Teens' started by Joretta, Dec 23, 2010.

  1. Joretta

    Joretta Approved members

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    I need suggestions on where to hold the line. Right now my daughter is very angry and lashing out. I am trying to hold the line for her behavior as I would normally; however, when I did she started to refuse to eat and used her condition over me to let her have her way. I gave in part way out of fear. We are unique to in at diagnoses 10/23/2009 as she was placed as type 2, even though everything pointed to type 1 or 1.5 it took until 12/16/2010 to get the endo to listen and run the antibody tests which proved my gut feelings. Any help anyone can offer would help especially anyone else who has a teenage diagnoses.
     
  2. wilf

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    You need to draw a firm but loving line, which I know is easier said than done.

    I'm not sure why refusing to eat should give her power over you. If she refuses to eat, then you should let her be hungry. If she is playing the game of refusing to eat after she's been bolused for a meal, then don't bolus until she is done eating (ideally using Apidra, which doesn't really require pre-bolusing).

    It is normal and ok to be angry about developing diabetes and you should gently validate those feelings, but it is not ok to use the D as a tool to get her way. That has to be nipped in the bud.

    It is sounding like you may well need professional help with this, and I'd start lining that up as quickly as you can.
     
  3. Kaylas mom

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    Kayla was the same way when she was first dx. We called it playing the diabetes card when she would flip out about things that weren't going her way. She also didn't bolus when she needed to and didn't eat things that she already had bolused for. We cracked down on her and the endo cracked down as well after she continued to lose weight at her 4 month check.

    Be firm, only talk about D as little as possible. I think we hovered for a little too long with Kayla and she started to resent us.
     
  4. kiwiliz

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    Quite a large percent of Type 1's don't have antibodies. Did the test for c-peptide come back normal too?

    I agree with Wilf - refusing to eat is a slippery slope. At least don't act as though you care. I swear they can smell fear. As long as she hasn't had her novo she will be alright. If she is refusing because she doesn't want the shot could you get her onto a pump. It would make things a lot easier for you and her. You need to have been on the long lasting and novo for a while for most endos - but some will move you to a pump quite quickly.

    It must be horrible to have to change your entire life just when you are wanting a little more independence. No wonder she is angry. You must be so worried. Persevere - she needs to comply for her sake - not yours. You are only doing what you need to. Our educator said to treat it like homework. Have a sliding scale of punishment for non-compliance. This has worked for us. I hope it gets a little easier soon. Ask your educator if there is someone you can talk to for advice on tips and tricks - they often have psychologists around. My heart goes out to you. I am very sorry - it is just as painful for Mums and Dads.
     
  5. Joretta

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    As for her diagnoses yes her C-peptide was low and her other two antibody tests were perfect for Type 1. The endo was shocked as I had to push for the tests I wanted type 1 ruled out or in for sure. They wanted to simple go by presenting symptoms and not the big picture as to how things had progressed during the year.

    Thanks for the suggestions I also spoke with our educator she said let her go hungry if she has not bolused. If she has when she get low treat it. She wont have any fight in her then. Your suggestions also helped it is just very scary at first. We had several lows during the this last year and she knows they scare us. But not now. Thanks for the reinforcement.:)
     
  6. kimmcannally

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    She may be angry at you for pushing for the T1 testing. Now she has to use insulin (in her view she didn't have to have it before the tests) and she may be blaming you for it. I know DS blamed me for taking him to the Dr. when I suspected D. He felt he would have had more time of "normal" if I had waited until he got really sick with D instead of taking him in when he was just having early symptoms.
    Maybe you could talk to her about that possibility?
     
  7. chbarnes

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    I would add meeting other teens with D may help her feel more normal and put things in perspective. Your CDE may have suggestions or your local JDRF chapter may help. One opportunity would be this summer's Friends for Life conference sponsored by CWD right there in Orlando. Also seeing young adult role models who are cool may help her see a positive future.
     
  8. MrsBadshoe

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    I see your from Orlando. I highly suggest attending the Friends for Life Conference in Orlando this summer. It is a great place for teens. Maybe if she was around lot of Type 1 teens it might give her a better perspective.

    I have a T1 13 yr old and a 17 yr old. and they both have found friends and learned aspects of care that have helped them throughout the year.

    Good luck as the teen years can be difficult without a T1 dx and withit and especially a hormonal girl......OUCH!! My thoughts are with you.
     
  9. Joretta

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    Thanks for the suggestion about Friends for Life this summer. I am going to try to bring her. I also looked into a weekend retreat for both of us. As for her being angry over the type 1 no if she had to have it she preferred type 1 as she hated type 2. She felt like everyone watched her and she felt the misconception of popular press about it always being over eating and not exercising as the cause instead in her case heredity for insulin resistance.
     
  10. Bigbluefrog

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    Diabetes camp helped us, and some family camp outing with others going thru the same situation.

    Anger, at D is normal.....but using it to manipulate u is not ok, I would sit down with her and the whole family. Let her vent, and it's ok to express yr anger, but not ok to use d to hurt yr mom...after all your her number one supporter......and re affirm yr commitment to help her thru this.

    I think camp, and jdrf walk helped us, it helped her see she isn't alone and other kids are going thru the same stuff.

    Hang in there.....:cwds:
     
  11. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

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    Although registration is closed for New Years on Marco Island, perhaps someone has canceled and you could still attend. I would contact CWD to find out
    http://childrenwithdiabetes.com/activities/marco2011/


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

    Also this is coming up and may be great.

    FLORIDA DIABETES CAMP http://www.floridadiabetescamp.org/

    Join Us As We Rock Through the Decades
    at the 2011 Teen Weekend
    January 21-23 - Camp Winona
    Open to Grades 6-10

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


    Camp Boggy Creek has a free family weekend January 29-31 for Diabetes
    http://www.boggycreek.org
    Usually it requires early registration but I encourage you to call and to find out how many teens will be attending and what they have for teens.
    We attended when our son was much younger, and the staff and volunteers treated everyone so beautifully. It was absolutely lovely.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


    She's absolutely entitled to her anger and emotions surrounding having diabetes. At the same time, it'll help enormously if you are able to set up very clear expectations . You may want to read this highly recommend article, and tailor it to your family: The Family Approach to Diabetes Management: Theory Into Practice Toward the Development of a New Paradigm
    Joe Solowiejczyk, RN, MSW http://spectrum.diabetesjournals.org/content/17/1/31.full


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


    USF in Tampa is also working on helping teens with diabetes. Learn more here: http://diabetes.health.usf.edu/
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2010
  12. Joretta

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    Wow, the article helped a lot. Thanks!
     
  13. Kalebsmom

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    My son turned 16 on 12-10 and was dx'd Type 1 12-15 so he was very angry to say the least. He is now 19 and things have gotten so much better but it was a long and very sad road.

    I wish you the best. If you have any questions or would like Kaleb to talk to her please just let me know. Kaleb is always willing to talk to others. It was actually another Type 1 that helped Kaleb realize he needed to take better care of himself.
     
  14. Joretta

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    Thanks for the support we are definitely going to family camp in Feb and she is scheduled for a teen camp weekend next week. She is mad about that but I think she will be fine once there. I know she is tired of my asking about stuff and I have offered to let her do the log sheets but she won't she started to do one and simply wrote oh 136 sounds good and let see ... as she moved to the next column. I hope she gets something out of camp and actually enjoys it and comes back a little happier for longer times. I have seen glimmers of hope as she saw a post I was reading and pipped in to help with a child going on an overnight trip. After all, she has been in insulin for a year only with the words she would come off in a year if she did well with her diet, so she knew how to manage that as we went through it. Thanks again and I think at some point meeting another type 1 will help but not online right now, so I hope camp goes well.
     
  15. wilf

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    What do you mean by this?
     
  16. Joretta

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    She was diagnosed type 2 and put on insulin right away but they did not test for antibodies and it took a year for the endo. to test her at my insistence. Endo. needless to say was sorry she did not listen sooner.
     
  17. C6H12O6

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    What was her BMI if you don't mind me asking. I think type 2 is pretty rare in caucasian children and adolescents. I know the clinical practice guidelines in the UK are to assume T1 and initiate insulin unless morbidly obese. Why did you opt to continue with the metformin ?
     
  18. Joretta

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    Her BMI prior to me seeing an issue arising was 25 however after she started puberty it soared in two months to 28. I hav PCO (poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and was found to be insulin resistant. However, I have never had an issue with diabetes other than with DD pregnancy and then it was controlled through diet and I lost 45 lbs during the pregnancy as I had ketones the whole time no matter what the doctors tried. I thought she had insulin resistance as I too gained weight at puberty. I a m keeping her on metformin because she is insulin resistant like most females on my mother side of the family. By the way though none are diabetic in anyway.
     
  19. C6H12O6

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    Sounds like a good plan.:) I think metformin is a great drug for those who can tolerate the side effects. I've been off and on it for a while now. I recommend keeping Imodium on hand, and if your insurance will cover the long acting once a day metformin has less GI side effects. Remember that metformin will impair the body's natural ability to deal with and correct a low so try to do night testing for safety reasons.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2011

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