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New School NURSE!!!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by stewkimmom, Feb 25, 2013.

  1. stewkimmom

    stewkimmom Approved members

    Aug 17, 2012
    DS8 was diagnosed 2 years ago. He's had 2 different school nurses during that time and 2 different nurse aides. Everyone has their own little ways of doing things but there has never been a problem. The new person and I just meet, discuss things and come up with a plan. No biggie.

    A new nurse was hired in November. She works 2 days a week and the nurse aide works the other 3. All contact with her has left me feeling like I don't want her anywhere near my son.

    1st conversation:
    Her first day with him....she didn't know the system and was confused about a few things. She was frustrated and irritable on the phone with me and with my son who was recovering from a low. She very irritably told him that he didn't need to be down here this long and to drink his juice! I had to remind her that when he is low, he might forget to drink. You can't just hand him juice and leave him to it....you need to watch him.

    2nd conversation:
    We met to go over the daily schedule that seemed to confuse her the first day. She questioned everything?.why do we do this and why not do it this way and shouldn't his basal line be changed? On and on?.she knew better than us AND the Endo! She reviewed the Dr?s orders with me?there was no issue. She only had ? of the IHP. Said she'd look for the other part of it.

    3rd conversation:
    She emailed that she couldn't find the other half of the IHP and that 504?s are only done at the beginning of the school year, so we wouldn't review it until then. Umm?.wrong!

    4th conversation:
    She refused to give my son insulin for an unexpected cupcake that a parent brought in for a birthday. She called me to get carb count but after hanging up, she called me back to tell me she wouldn't give him the cupcake or the bolus because she just wasn't comfortable doing it. She said Dr?s orders aren't acceptable. (WTH? Why didn't she have a problem with them when she went over them with me?)

    She commented that ?he?s going to have to learn that he can?t have everything everyone else has? ??..his diabetes makes him special?????we can?t worry so much about how he feels about a cupcake?. She also compared him to the students with peanut allergies and said if they can get used to not getting a snack, so can he. She argued with me so long that I gave up and made an appt to see her. I talked to Endo to make sure orders covered everything. Endo office assured me the orders were complete but if the school nurse needed something else, they would be happy to fax it over?.just let them know.

    5th conversation:
    She and I met again. It was a disaster. I gave her my copy of the IHP she couldn't find. She told me it wasn't in effect because SHE could only find the one for last year. She finally took the copy but then started tearing into it. She argued about half of everything on that document!

    While rambling that she couldn't take 'all of his diabetic supplies' outside during evacuations (it didn't say she had to) and to make a point, she made out to just grab his glucagon?..she looked for 4 minutes before admitting she didn't know where it was and then blamed the nurse aide for not telling her where it?s stored. I was furious. I pointed out that SHE is the nurse in charge of that school and it is HER responsibility to know where the emergency supplies are kept. She argued that she had over 1,000 kids at that school and had to review all of their files. (WTH??)

    She flat out refused to accept the Dr?s orders as written but would also NOT tell me what she needed the orders to say or cover. I asked her over and over 'What do you need from the Dr?...what do you need the orders to say?.....how can they fix the orders???.she would only continue to tell me how they weren't acceptable and how snacks are not covered. (the orders mention snacks) Finally, I told her she was deliberately refusing to tell me how to fix the orders and she said, 'Your Dr just wants to put down that you can decide everything and that?s not happening!'.

    I ended it there. Couldn't take any more from her.

    Since that meeting, I found out that when my son was low, she made him do classwork. She called the teacher and told her to send whatever math they were working on for him to do while he waits for his blood sugar to go up. He was 49 at the time. The teacher questioned her but the nurse said they will be requiring him to do work any time he's in the clinic for a low.

    We have a meeting this Friday with her, the principal and the district's Director of Safety. I'm so upset about this woman. I'm obsessing about the meeting!
  2. Christopher

    Christopher Approved members

    Nov 20, 2007
    Sounds very frustrating. You are doing the exact right thing by having a meeting with her and the Principal and the Dir. of Safety. My only advice is to go into the meeting calm but firm. Outline exactly what your expectations are. Try and take emotion out of it. You (and his Endo) are the one directing his care, she is the one executing your wishes. Good luck!
  3. mmgirls

    mmgirls Approved members

    Nov 28, 2008
    I would not wait for Friday, I would make a point of it to let the Princle know that she is not following Drs orders and that your child is not safe at school.
    If it were me, I would take him out until this is resolved that is if you can not be there for his care.
  4. CAGrandma

    CAGrandma Approved members

    Mar 14, 2006
    There is a huge difference between an IEP and a 504. Get a 504 NOW! It may be a fight but once everything is in there it spells out what MUST be done. End of story.

    Sorry you have to deal with this.
  5. minniem

    minniem Approved members

    Apr 25, 2011
    I don't have any advice besides what's being offered above. Just document everything and be calm, but firm. Which is hard to do when it's your kid they are talking about. I just can't believe she wants him to do work in the clinic when he's low. That's outrageous!

    I would follow up with your principle before Friday and tell him/her you do not think your son is being cared for safely at school. Then, if it were me, I would consider keeping him home from school on the days she is working until Friday and you can get this resolved. Again, that's just me. I wouldn't want my son being treated that way. Also, if you don't have a 504 you should get one set up for your son. I believe they can be done anytime of year and it's a process so at least get the process started. The 504 carries more weight than the IHP. You can put in the 504 that your child is excused from school work until his BG is in a normal range (and specify what that is for him).

    I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I want to wish you luck in your meeting. I really hope it all gets better for you and your son. :cwds:
  6. stewkimmom

    stewkimmom Approved members

    Aug 17, 2012
    First, let me apologize for all of those random question marks. LoL!

    We do have a 504. The second page of the Individual Health Plan was missing. It's part of the 504. She insisted that because she couldn't find it, it didn't exist and she wasn't going to discuss it until the 504 review at the beginning of next school year. I told her I wasn't trying to get the 504 reviewed, I just want her to find the other half of the IHP. Since she couldn't find it, I gave her a copy that I had. She still tried telling me it wasn't in effect.

    I'm ok with waiting until Friday because the nurse only works Th/Fr. This week, my husband is available and can be at the school within 3 minutes. I'm not loving the idea of her taking care of him Thursday but she's been told that she is on a *hold* basis until the meeting. She has to follow everything as we've been doing it for the last year and accept the Dr's orders until we have a chance to meet. It's one day and dh is right there.

    I know I will struggle with the emotion part of it. It's so hard to talk to her because she is so confrontational and controlling.

    I also feel bad because at the beginning of the school year, I went round with the principal about training. They had to hire a new nurse aide and until they found one, they were going to put an office substitute in the clinic. She had zero training. I pushed for wording in the 504 that made it clear the school had to provide training for the clinic staff and a back up person and that a trained person always had to be there during school hours.

    I felt right about that issue and I feel right about this one. I just hate that I'm in there AGAIN and so soon.
  7. CaitlynGrisham

    CaitlynGrisham Approved members

    Mar 12, 2010
    Oh, wow.

    That lady is way out of line. Good for you to go in there and get this sorted out. I can't say anything else that hasn't been stated already, but I sincerely hope that this gets all sorted out.

    Good luck, and I will be sending happy, positive thoughts your way!
  8. liasmommy2000

    liasmommy2000 Approved members

    Oct 31, 2006
    Wow, what a witch! There are times when I'm GLAD we don't even have nurses at all, and this is one. I tell them what to do and train them on how to do it and they don't question the medical/dosing aspects of it. Just sometimes the wording of the IEP/IHP etc and accommodations. But not even that anymore, they just do what I say and follow my written instructions. Well dd does most of it now but you know what I mean.

    Good luck. I would be absolutely furious too. And it is hard to talk when that emotional. BTDT. Please update us!
  9. Ndiggs

    Ndiggs Approved members

    Nov 9, 2011
    Actually an IEP supersedes a 504 plan in what needs to be done, and is a more restrictive document. If you have an IEP (which can and should include everything in the 504) you are actually in a better position than having the 504
  10. shannong

    shannong Approved members

    Sep 15, 2012
    Remain calm during the meeting. You know what you are talking about and you are the expert on your child. Any rational person would be able to understand this. The nurse on the other hand, sounds both irrational and completely incompetent. You should (and I hope it goes that way) be backed up by the school administration. I would keep going up the chain of command until you get a guarantee that this nurse will act according to the documents already set out. I would not debate the hows/whys of your son's care with this woman. I think if she wants to argue with you about your son's care, I would point out to the principal that this is exactly why this woman is not competent to care for your son and demand someone else.
  11. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

    Aug 28, 2011
    I would put it in writing, too. Sometimes schools need documentation to be able to take action with incompetent employees. The idea that she couldn't even locate the glucagon....scarey! Those minutes wasted looking for it could be crucial. Fortunately kids rarely need them at school.
  12. Bigbluefrog

    Bigbluefrog Approved members

    Oct 1, 2010
    i agree with writing down all your notes and points that need to be discussed.

    MAke sure you bring copies of your 504 and doctors notes.

    I imagine it will be tough to be calm, I am getting angry just reading this.

    I hope your meeting is successful!
  13. Joretta

    Joretta Approved members

    Nov 7, 2009
    I would get a letter from the Endo that states parents are to relay and make changes with Endo assistance as needed for child's care at school. That is if that is not in 504 or IHP. I work at a school and a nurse tried to say I was not qualified to change basal settings. My letter declared me the liaison between the doctor and the school so she did as I said. Nurse then had todo what I said. Good luck you are in the right just be prepared with documentation and the letter I suggested if you are not already covered. You will do great.
  14. StacyMM

    StacyMM Approved members

    Oct 22, 2010
    I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Our school had a new nurse this year and the first time I met her, she insisted that diet was the secret because she's personally helped several T1s come off of insulin. :rolleyes: It only got worse and we ended up needing to work with the ADA's Safe at School advocates, as well as an advocate from our hospital. It was incredibly stressful and frustrating and we did have DS out of school for 8 days because we wouldn't send him until an agreement had been reached. I wanted to share that so that you would know you aren't alone - if the school doesn't resolve this, please look into the ADA program and reach out for help/advice. Everyone that I talked to was fabulous and I am so grateful for them!
  15. susanlindstrom16

    susanlindstrom16 Approved members

    Nov 29, 2012
    ugh so frustrating! It totally sounds to me like she is insecure in her new position and is trying to "prove" that she is an expert or mark her territory in some way.

    I don't have any new advice but like everyone said keeping calm is probably the best thing. I know that would be the hardest part for me. You don't want her to see you getting rattled, and you don't want the emotions of everything getting in the way of the ultimate goal, which is getting her to abide by your doctor's orders.

    Maybe you can just say that you appreciate her sharing her experience with you, and you will talk about her suggestions with the doctors, but that her office is not the place where changes are to be made.

    Good luck!!
  16. Andy'sMom

    Andy'sMom Approved members

    Jan 16, 2008
    I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. This nurse sounds incompetent. I think you're doing the right thing by having the meeting and documenting the problems. I don't have any new advice, but wanted to say good luck!
  17. stewkimmom

    stewkimmom Approved members

    Aug 17, 2012
    Wow. Just...wow.

    We had the meeting yesterday. The Principal and the Director of Safety were very helpful in keeping the meeting on track. I feel good that they see the situation for what it is and will help resolve it.

    It was 2 hrs of arguments from her. She was sitting in a room with 2 of her superiors, she's on probation because she was hired only 2 months ago and yet she STILL showed horrible attitude and flat out refusal to work with us on any issue. It was almost comical, how obstructive she was being. She showed her superiors how unreasonable and uncooperative she is and we were able to show how WRONG she is!

    It was very upsetting to see her act that way with her superiors. Who does that?? What does that say about her? She was also caught in 2 very obvious lies.

    It's not over, though. Unless they fire her, I still have to deal with her. Our Endo's office is going to send a letter to the school, discussing the issues that we told them about and will make clear that the parents have the last word on all issues.

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