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new here...need some ideas

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by quiltinmom, Jun 24, 2010.

  1. lauraqofu

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    Okay, I'm new to D, so I want to find a way to say this tactfully, because I don't want to sound like the new person who thinks she knows everything...

    That said, I'm in complete and total agreement with Sooz. Yes, it's your son's body and his diabetes...but YOU are the adult, the responsible one. I cannot tell you much it bothered me to read, "he doesn't like." Kids don't like a lot of things, things that are required of them, heck, I don't like a lot of things that are required of me, but liking, when it comes to D care, is completely irrelevant.

    It's about realizing that even though we want our kids to be responsible and be in control of their own lives as much as possible, we need to be their safety nets. When he doesn't want to take a shower, or go to school, do you let him have his way? And those things aren't even life-threatening.

    We are only two months in, and I've already heard a lot of "I don't want" or "I don't like." My answer is always..."I understand how you feel, and I agree diabetes does suck, but I'm the parent and you WILL do as I say, because I love you and I don't want you to suffer from the repercussions of not taking proper care of your diabetes."
     
  2. Lisa P.

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    Normally I'd agree, but then I reread the post you are addressing -- she's not paid each time she's in range, but each time she hits 100, which you're rarely going to do even if you have great "control" all the time. There's a randomness to it. So, it's like a game with a goal, I can see that being pretty fun. And it could make testing something to look forward to ("I might hit the jackpot this time!"). It's a really interesting idea. . . . :p
     
  3. Lisa P.

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    Are you still in a strong honeymoon? Newly diagnosed? What was, if you don't mind my asking, his A1C?
     
  4. czardoust

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    Do you keep a written log of his blood sugar readings? I've found that the more I log Katerinas readings, the more I remember to make sure she is testing everyday, before every meal, between meals, even if its not a scheduled time, if she feels low, etc. I just use a spiral notebook. Its also great for going back, reading over what the activities were, what the meal was, what was different about that particular day (such as any other health issues going on), anything to help explain a bad number or an "off day". I've noticed since I've been diligent about logging that Kat has begun to really pay attention and will sometimes say "its time to check" before I do :cwds:
     
  5. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I like the idea of rewarding on occasion for the successful completion of the task, but rewarding for the outcome makes me uncomfortable. I think it sets up unrealistic expectations.
     
  6. Becky Stevens mom

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    Could someone pay me $1 every time the meter says 100 please? :) I think its more of a team effort here so Steven isnt fully responsible for what the meter reads. I think with any child its a great idea to reward them for doing chores such as a special outing or some extra video game time but I reward both of my children for doing their chores.
     
  7. Kaylas mom

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    I agree with this, I don't like the idea of being rewarded for the # because then it makes it feel like a failure if the number is out of range and then in turn makes the child feel bad.
     
  8. MyAngelEmma

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    We do this game, too, but before we started we let Emma choose the #. It could have been 40 or 400, we didn't really care what number it was. She just picked a random number, didn't have to be an in range number. I think this works better.
     
  9. MikailasMom

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    I am going to have to agree with some of the previous posters. What is YOU get the basal wrong, or YOU get carb counts mixed up, or YOU mess up the bolus? That sets the child up for dissapointment if not 100. As I am sure alot of us know, we make errors sometimes, and there is enough frustration with the blasted disease! I can see rewarding for checking, but not so much for the number on the meter.
     
  10. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I'm glad logging is working for you. From recent posts I had the impression that it wasn't, in fact, a tool you found advantageous. But as I think it's a valuable tool, I'm pleased to hear you suggest it to others.
     
  11. buggle

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    My brain isn't so sharp either, so bear with me if I misunderstood your post. So, your son boluses after he eats, but tests before? If that's the case, I suggest that you prebolus, which is better for keeping BG down after meals. The bonus is that if you test and give his shot at the same time, it's only one event to remember, not two.

    When we were on MDI, I don't know if I ever forgot a bolus, but I did forget Lantus and on top of it, my kid was on a split dose. More than once, we had to give him a Lantus shot in the middle of the night or go into school and give him one after we remembered... :eek: One thing I love about the pump is no Lantus shots to space out about.

    Since Brendan's on a pump, we've forgotten to bolus until after he started eating a few times, but we're more likely to bolus and forget to have him eat. Thankfully, he has a CGM that alarms if he starts dropping and we all forgot to feed him a snack or breakfast or something. I don't have a new baby to cause my spacey brain, just sleep deprivation and middle age.... and maybe genetics. :p

    My son was 8 when he was dx'd. He never lets us do his finger pokes and the only time we do them is during the night when he's sleeping. I wouldn't want anyone poking me either. He did some of his own shots on MDI -- he was 9 when we started pumping. But we really try to do the lion's share of the D care. I want him to know how to do everything, but not to have to bother with it. Studies have shown that the less kids have to do when they're younger, the more likely they are to take care of themselves and not burn out when they're teenagers and college age. I also don't have 3 other kids, including a baby. Brendan is an only child, so I think that makes it easier for us to do more for him. And every kid is different. Some want more control than others.
     
  12. wilf

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    I'd like to find out what the last "fine" A1C was.

    We didn't hear much from the OP about where her son is at with respect to the D. If he's having a strong honeymoon, then that could be part of what has contributed to the sense of complacency that comes through in the original post. During the honeymoon when a child's body is still producing some insulin, the D management seems easy. You can even miss a test here or an injection there and as often as not "get away with it". As a result you can start to think that following the rules of good D management (measuring and giving insulin before every meal) doesn't much matter.

    If that is what is happening, I would urge the OP to fight the complacency and start building the good habits NOW that will be needed later to properly manage the D. Because once bad habits and the sense that "it doesn't much matter" gets ingrained in your son, it will be very hard to change his attitude later.

    Note also that for an 8 year old boy it is way too soon to be expecting them to remember to test and/or bolus, even if they're able to do it on occasion. It is squarely the parent's responsibility - time to step up and take that responsibility on.. :cwds:
     
  13. GaPeach

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    We are 3 and 1/2 years past dx and our DD is almost 12. Yes, the "eye-rolling" and "sigh" stage. :mad:

    This is a frustrating dilemnia. It is very important to test and dose. As a parent, we must remind them. And yet, the typical child, teen, or pre-teen has the negative response that is typical to ANY reminder (i.e. pick up your clothes, shut the door, don't drink out of the milk carton). You get the idea.

    So, I love Joe's line (heard it at FFL) - "You don't have to like it, but you have to do it." :cwds:

    Recently, my DD actually came to me and asked if she could earn $ based on her BG numbers. I told her I did not like that idea. As another poster said, there are too many factors that determine the number. The next day she came to me with a log book. (I confess, I do not log daily. I review the meter when we have a what-happened moment. I downlod the pump and review the reports weekly.) She wanted to know if she could earn $ based on consistant logging and remembering to bolus for meals and snacks. BINGO!!!!!!!! :D

    It is working well. The goal is for her to develop a consistant habit. Habits I have heard take 21 days to develop. She is empowering herself by her own decision.

    And yes, I do still have to remind her at times. It's my job, I'm the mom.
     
  14. danismom79

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    ...Really?

    To the OP: ultimately it is your responsibility to remember. At this point you should automatically associate food with checking and dosing. If I were 8 I wouldn't want anyone to remember to give me a shot either. How many of you are forgetting? Is there another adult responsible here? Is the whole house that preoccupied?
     
  15. GaPeach

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    Quiltinmom, I believe that a couple of comments added to this thread are not an answer to your question. Rather, the posters are responding tactlessly to another member of the CWD family.

    I trust that you have found some positive ideas to help you.
     
  16. Flutterby

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    Being 8, its hard for him to remember, diabetes is a HUGE responsibility, and one that he didn't ask for.. My daughte ris 7.5 (almost. ;)) and has had diabetes for almost 4.5 years and she STILL can't remember.. we remind her to check.. but I just did, at lunch time.. Kaylee, that was hours ago, you need to check again.. We need to remind her to come to us for insulin (she isn't doing this on her own yet.. putting it in, but we supervise everything to make sure she has it right)..

    Like with anything else for this age, they need constant reminders.. I try very hard not to 'nag'.. but sometimes, it ends up that way. :D
     
  17. lil'Man'sMom

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    This was a conversation I had with my 9 year old son the other day, diagnosed D almost 3 years.

    DS: "Mom I'm hungry can I have a snack?"
    Me: "Yep, just test before."
    DS: " Um, yeah Mom, I always do."
    Me: " I know, it is just a habit, me reminding you."

    It is my job to make sure he is doing his job. Do I always remind him? No, but I do think me practicing good habits has helped him to practice good habits. I do get scatter brained on occasion too and he reminds me when I need it. It is how we work as a team.

    and welcome to CWD:cwds:
     
  18. hawkeyegirl

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    Honestly, at this stage, it's really your responsibility to make sure that he's testing and treating properly. It's great if he wants to do most of his care, but YOU are the failsafe, the backup, the adult here, and making sure that it gets done is your responsibility, no question.

    So the real question is, "How do YOU ensure that he is checking, dosing, treating, etc.?" For me, especially at the beginning, I had to have a system. We logged every BG check, every bit of food, every insulin dose for close to two years. It became so engrained in me that there was really no chance that I would forget to check or dose him. It would have been akin to forgetting to put my pants on before I left the house.

    I don't know what system would work best for you, but you need to find one. In my opinion, checking 2-3 times a day is wholly inadequate, and borderline dangerous for an active 8 year old. You need to decide how many times he should check per day (I would recommend 6, minimum) and when he is going to do those checks. Then you have to come up with a system to remind yourself. Whether it's setting alarms or creating a chart where you check off each time as it happens, or what, you have to find what works for you. As someone upthread noted, this is not going to get any easier once he's a teenager, and if you're sloppy or lax with his D care, how on earth can you expect him to be responsible with it?

    Good luck. I hope you've received some good advice and hope you stick around and post more. :)
     

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