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need to get this off my chest in a forum that is not friends or family - forwarning hockey content..

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by chkpea, Jan 17, 2011.

  1. chkpea

    chkpea Approved members

    Mar 5, 2009
    so my dh seems to find trouble or trouble finds him. He is asst. coaching my oldest (7) hockey this year. The head coach (fyi this is just rec. hockey) has been fairly offstandish since the beginning of this year. Sort of like...this is my team...you guys just let the players on and off the ice. So really not creating a very good team approach with the coaches and of course will filter down to the players. Anyhow, my dh is approached by some parents over some concerns...one parent feels the kids should be playing different positions not just staying....and another parent has commented on ice time - and the dad/trainer who is workiing the defence door is letting his son have more obvious ice time....so my dh decides (and believe me I have given him the third degree about doing this...writes the coach an email about the concerns. Does the "between you and me....". The coach immediately gets his back up that the parents haven't come to him directly - umm ya but you have others involved so that the parents can go to anyone of them ....and then second "really bad thing" is he tells the dad/trainer - who lives two doors away from us, who's child is best friends with our child - tells him that my dh feels that he is giving his child more ice time - which again did not come from my dh but another parent and my dh just wanted the coach to be aware of the rumblings. Sooooo, of course our neighbour has been giving us the cold shoulder...and I said to my dh that of course the coach has shared this with him. So my dh talks to our neighbour - again through another media - fb...he is literally 100ft away from us - again he gets the third degree from me. They seem to have made amends and then had a face to face yesterday for an hour. So my dh says everything is good again. My dh has never played hockey and although he is aware of the politics I don't think he really gets it. So I said I hope you have learned something ----don't use email and please tell the parents to go to this coach directly as that is what he obviously wants. If you have read any of this or all of it thanks I just needed another forum to post this. I hate confrontation. They have been giving me the cold shoulder - so I guess they feel that I am part of this whole things as well - but all I want to do is go out and support my child and his team....and not get involved in the rest of the garbage.
  2. Heather(CA)

    Heather(CA) Approved members

    Jun 18, 2007
    Having been both a coach (Soccer) and a parent, I think you have given your hubby some very good advise. :)
  3. Mimi

    Mimi Approved members

    Dec 19, 2008
    My dh has coached my kids baseball teams for a number of years. My oldest also played rep baseball for one season. He also plays hockey and my younger son plays basketball. I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly. :rolleyes:

    Watching my husband coach and being a parent, I've come to realize that there will always be parents who think they know a better way. Some will be vocal about it and some won't.

    It says a lot that the other parents felt your husband was the approachable one of the three. It shows that he's there for the right reasons - the kids.

    It's not easy when you get people with different personalities, different coaching philosophies and different reasons for being there.

    Sorry you and dh had to deal with some drama. Hopefully, it will be the last for this season.

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