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my son is lonley :(

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Austins mom, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. Austins mom

    Austins mom Approved members

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    Just wondering if there are any kids on here in northern ca? My son is 7 and going into second grade. He is having a hard time with friends.... His best friend used to invite him over all the time and now doesnt. I dont blame his parents... its alot to consider to just feed Austin...

    He was diagnosed in Dec 2012 and is now on the animus one touch ping pump which has made life so much easier on a day to day basis... But friends parents are still scared.... When he goes to a friends now I usually go at mealtime to do his insulin but he says they laugh at him... What to do??? He needs some friends in the same situation :(
     
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    If my kid's friends were laughing at her for having D I would meet with the parents and explain, in the simplest terms what's going on and ask them to curb that behavior in their kids. Not acceptable. Not by a mile.
     
  3. danismom79

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    Have you sat down with the parents? What is it that they're afraid of, exactly? Is there anything that you can do to help them feel more comfortable? I remember early on I felt like I had to explain everything to everyone who came in contact with my daughter, but I think giving too much info can scare people. I would sit down with the parents and give only as much as I felt they needed for a few hours, and took as much responsibility away from them as I could: text/call me with the meal plan, if she feels low she has candy/tabs/juice on her. I never depended on or expected anyone to give the same level of care that I did on a daily basis just for a playdate.
     
  4. Austins mom

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    thank you for the responses... yes I have sat down with the parents and explained everything in very simple terms. I even sent a lunch with all the carbs written on everything... offered to come and do the insulin... We are having his buddies come over to our house but He really misses going home with friends.

    I explained the situation to the little boy and his family that has been teasing him... They are our neighbors.... The only two boys on the block of course. It still continues :(

    School will be starting up again soon and he will meet new friends. Is it better to explain to the class right away what his pump is or wait till they ask?
     
  5. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    On the school front I think it really depends on the kid. Some kids want a parent to come in and explain things a bit, others wouldn't hear of it. I did it once in the third grade when she was transitioning to doing everything in the classroom where the other kids would see her testing, bolusing, treating etc. I'd talk with my kid about it and see what they think.

    On the friend thing, if you've spoken to the kids and to the parents and the children are still laughing at your son then I think you are wise to begin to wind down those relationships. Also, I'd try to get a fix on what your son meant by "laughing" at him - if they are saying, "you make such a funny face when you poke yourself" that's different from " You're such a freak that you have to do that" :rolleyes:
     
  6. caspi

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    I honestly don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to do so - and please understand this is coming from a good place and I truly don't mean any disrespect........... Are you making a simple play date/birthday party into a huge ordeal so that the parents are being scared off? The reason I ask this is because of your comment about "It's a lot to consider to just feed Austin" and that "friends parents are still scared". I think part of our job as parents is to also make sure that the parents of their friends are at ease. As long as your son is getting his insulin as required and if he feels low they are able to call you, that's really all they need to know. Just something to consider. :cwds:
     
  7. mmgirls

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    I may be reading this wrong, but at that age I would just ask that the parents let me know when my child wanted to eat and come over to test and bonus or ask then to sent him home to quickly return.

    You can still have him go home with friends, but unless he can test and bolus by himself you will have to do so until you find that the other parents are ok and capable to do so.
     
  8. Austins mom

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    I do go do all his testing or insulin for food but he feels weird about me always showing up , he feels like a baby... Im not putting any responsibility on other parents... He and I are doing it all, they are scared off because they think hes going to just fall on the floor and go into a coma... I have tried to explain to them that it doesnt work quite like that but they are still afraid.

    And as my original post stated... he was going out of town with his friend all last summer and now they are afraid to invite him... Obviously I cant go test him and do his food if hes three hours away :(.

    And I was just looking for a friend for him that is going through the same thing... I guess not here in northern cali...

    Thanks for the repsonses
     
  9. KatieSue

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    Do you have a JDRF chapter in your area? They may have some events where he can meet other kids with T1.
     
  10. danismom79

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    I didn't see any mention of going out of town in the first post, that obviously makes things harder.

    Is he not checking himself yet? Is that something you'd both be willing to work on to give him more confidence when he's away from you? Does he know how to work the pump and bolus with your input?

    I'm sorry the people around you have such a terrible idea of what type 1 is all about. What about organizing a get-together on your own turf, parents included? Honestly, I think it sucks that they'll send their kids to your home but don't want to return the courtesy.
     
  11. caspi

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    I wanted to add that my son was dx'd just shy of his 8th birthday in second grade and that first year some kids were downright cruel. Luckily his teacher had a brother with Type 1 and she spoke with the "cruel kids" and set them straight. A lot of times it is out of ignorance that kids say things. One girl told my son at lunch that her mother told her that he (my son) was probably going to die early because he had diabetes. Nice, huh? We started educating the class every September and every teacher read "Taking Diabetes to School", up until 5th grade. By then most everyone knew about it anyway. Hopefully your son will meet some new friends this school year. :cwds:
     
  12. Austins mom

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    He is checking himself and doing his bolus with assistance on the carb counting, and has an adult double check that he has put in the correct about of carb and the correct amount of insulin. He also has a cell phone in his pocket at all times with alarms set when he needs to check his blood sugar and that seems to be working well.

    We live in the northern corner of California behind "the Redwood Curtain" as ppl say... Nothing up here the closest groups I can find are in San Francisco (5 hr drive).... I did post on Craigslist for a diabetes support group for kids up here and no responses... Guess we will just keep doing what we are doing.

    Im glad he doesnt see all the issues with this. Hes great at taking care of himself and I see him getting upset and that just makes me upset :(
     
  13. KatieSue

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    Maybe your Endo's office would know if there are any local groups?
     
  14. caspi

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    To piggy back on to this suggestion, if there aren't any groups, perhaps you could start one and put up a flyer in the Endo's office?
     
  15. Austins mom

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    that is a great suggestion however... to add to my issue... His Endo is in San Francisco (5 hr drive) but its a great idea!!
     
  16. JenJen

    JenJen New Member

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    My son was diagnosed 10 weeks ago, almost at the end of his first year in school. When he was allowed to go back, he took his teddy bear, Rufus, and we read that book in class. The kids had questions and I helped him answer them. The classmastes were very happy to have him in back class and they were not at all scared of his condition nor did they ridiculed him. My son would also like to meet other kids with diabetes. He is 5 and we live in South Florida. There are 3 other type 1 diabetics at his school and I'm hoping that we can meet them next school year.
     

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