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'Mommy, you don't smile anymore?'

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by samheis, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. samheis

    samheis Approved members

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    Even at 4.5, my son saw my stress. From the moment he was d'x, i lived and breathed diabetes. It consumed everything about me. Friends stopped calling. Looking back, who could blame them? There was no joy in my life. I didn't have time for it. I didn't allow time for it. How could people possibly understand the implications of caring for a type 1 diabetic? They didn't get it. I quit eating until my pregnancy forced me to think about my baby's health. Even then, diabetes always came first. For 2 years, I stayed within the fog, allowing the depression to rule my moods, my days led by the belief that life sucked, that nothing would ever be fair again. My fake smiles fooled most people, but not my son. He saw the stress, and he often commented on it.

    I'm happy to report, 3 years after that awful day, I got my sense of humor back. I'm living again. Diabetes does not come first. It's dealt with the same way one would deal with a pimple-dab a little cream on it, then go on with the day, only occasionally wondering if it is grabbing attention. Now, every mistake gives us the opportunity to learn. Learn then move on.

    As for Sam...well, we could all learn a little something about resiliency from our kids.

    For those recently diagnosed-it's going to be okay. Honest to goodness. You can handle this, and you can continue to lead happy, fulfilling lives. And your CWD is going to be okay too-better than okay, they are going to bounce back and lead normal lives. Diabetes is just something special about them, just one small thread of their tapestry's.
     
  2. 2boysmom

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    What a great post. Thanks for sharing!

    I seem to drift in and out of the fog. December will be two years for us. Sometimes I feel completely on top of things (diabetes and otherwise) and other times (like lately) I just "get by".
     
  3. LJM

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    Yeah! Good for you. I am pretty sure I reacted to the diagnosis much like you. May you find much joy from this point forward!
     
  4. chkpea

    chkpea Approved members

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    thank you for this too. It will be two years in Feb for us and I had been going on the one year mark for things to look brighter but I would say only recently that I am feeling a little lighter.
     
  5. sisterbeth43

    sisterbeth43 Approved members

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    Thank you for posting this for those with newly dx'd children. It helps to hear it from someone who has been there.
     
  6. ecs1516

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    Really can relate to your post! Ten years later and it does get better!:cwds:
     
  7. nanhsot

    nanhsot Approved members

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    Wow. This really hit home for me. I often wonder when my JOY will come back. I have a strong sense of faith, an unshakable faith. But what I'm lacking right now is a sense of optimism, of joy, of good in the world. I really needed this tonight. It is nice to hear/know that what I am feeling isn't some weird anomoly, that others have felt like I do, and that there is light on the other end.

    Thank you.
     
  8. grantsmom

    grantsmom Approved members

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    Yes, what a great post.

    Takes me back to those first few months. I wish I could say things are "normal" but they are not. I still have my moments. I think I always will. They are just further and further apart.
     
  9. samheis

    samheis Approved members

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    Thanks guys. We still have bad days-those 'i hate diabetes' moments-heck, i'll always hate it :cwds: Like today, he's got a tummy virus, and my life has to go on hold while I care for him. But I'm still in a much, much healthier place emotionally these days.
     
  10. suz

    suz Approved members

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    Thank You. I need this reassurance today. it's been a tough few days (weeks) not just with D, but in general. But it's nice to be reminded that life will continue.
     

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