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Lost and mentally drained.

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Saniyah's Mommy, May 11, 2011.

  1. Saniyah's Mommy

    Saniyah's Mommy Approved members

    May 11, 2011
    I just found out last week my 19 month old daughter has diabetes, so i'm new to everything. My husband is deployed and really, I have no one to talk about how to really deal with everything thats taken place. Right now I'm mostly stuggling with my daughter eating after I give her insulin. The doctors told me that I had to give her insulin before she eats and she must eat right after. Well the issue I'm having is....my daughter is 19 months, she doesn't understand why her meals are changing and why she can only eat a certian amount. Not only that, she doesn't eat all 45 grams of carbs. Does anyone have any advice or a clever way of making eating her food fun. My mind is completly drained, so any helpful words will help. Thanks!
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Sep 23, 2007
    So sorry you've had to join us. :(

    Most parets of young kids bolus after they have eaten. Not perfect in terms of glycemic control, but way better than a shot then a refusal to eat. ;)
  3. Darryl

    Darryl Approved members

    May 8, 2008
    It fine to bolus after the meal. Bolusing before the meal is theoretically a little better, but insulin takes 1-2 hours to work, so a difference of, say 15 minutes, doesn't matter enough to take a risk on excess insulin in a 2-year old. So for now, count the carbs eaten then bolus as soon as the meal is done.

    If you are concerned with controlling post-meal BG spikes (which is why they suggested bolusing before a meal), another approach is to avoid high glycemic index foods which cause BG to rise rapidly. These include white bread, foods sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, white potatoes, candy, etc. There are many glycemic index lists online if you search google.
  4. Tuff

    Tuff Approved members

    May 17, 2010
    Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this alone. We are all here for you.
    Seriously - bolus after the meal! You'll soon realize the the Docs and nurses don't actually live with a child with diabetes. It is completely unreasonable for a 19 mth old to be expected to eat on demand and the exact amount. By bolusing for how much was eaten afterwards you will ease a lot of your stress.
    As for the amount of carbs 45 seems really high for such a young child.

    Take a deep breath. Do lots of finger pokes so you always know where things stand and know that people here actually understand how overwhelming this all feels. Yes it sucks but it does get better. You're doing great!
  5. Saniyah's Mommy

    Saniyah's Mommy Approved members

    May 11, 2011
    Thank you ladies! I will try your advise and see if that works a bit better. Thank you for the quick response back.:)
  6. Lizzie's Mom

    Lizzie's Mom Approved members

    Oct 2, 2009
    So sorry you have had this happen, so glad you found this forum.

    There is a wealth of information here, and many who have had children diagnosed as toddlers, so you will find good info here.

    I'm sorry you're going through this alone while your husband is deployed. My husband has worked out-of-town during the week pretty much since our daughter's diagnosis, which occurred nearly two years ago when I was 31 weeks pregnant with baby #7! When you are overwhelmed, just take a deep breath and do the next thing. After the initial shock wears off and you learn more about how to manage, a new reality will begin to take shape, and though life is different, it goes on. It will be okay.

    The learning curve is steep right now . . . learn as much as you can as quickly as you can without your head exploding :eek:.

    One thing that's been really helpful for me is to focus on the fact that we have so many tools available to us to help manage our children's condition. I learned about the history of the discovery and development of insulin, and realized that a mere 100 years ago, we would have lost our sweet daughter. Having a thankful heart and attitude for what we have, as opposed to what has happened, has been very healthy for me.

    Blessings to you and your wee one. I'll pray that all goes well for your family.
  7. selketine

    selketine Approved members

    Jan 4, 2006
    William was dx'd at 26 months of age - sorry you had to join us but welcome.:cwds:

    I agree - bolus after eating. Also he needed such tiny amounts of insulin that we used diluted humalog (humalog is a fast acting insulin like novolog but I do not think novolog can be diulted). There is a special dilutent sold for humalog and a compounding pharmacist can make it for you - ask you pedi endo about it even if it means an extra call. You can also get syringes with half unit markings on them.

    Diluted humalog means that if you child would need a half unit for 20 carbs (just an example) you would draw up a unit because the insulin is diluted to half strength. This is the way ours was diluted.

    Certainly it is easier at diagnosis to keep a set meal plan and be careful with the high carb foods - but if 45 carbs is too much talk to your doctor. Bolusing after eating helps too. There are some free food lists (foods with few carbs or no carbs) that are really helpful for newly dx'd and snacking issues.

    It definitely DOES get easier. As you have the time - look into insulin pumping - it allows you to give super tiny doses of insulin and is so helpful with a little one - William started pumping when he was 2 yrs old (just before he turned 3). Also look at the CWD website and their conferences and think about coming to one when you can. There is their big annual one coming up this summer in Orlando (Friends for Life) - they actually have child care for the little ones with diabetes and without and you can learn a lot - something to look at for the future.:)
  8. frizzyrazzy

    frizzyrazzy Approved members

    Dec 23, 2006
    just wanted to give you a shout out - I did our diabetes dx alone during deployment too. Been there. Not pretty. Not easy. But you can do it. Biggest issue is trying hard not to get snarky when the other wives are complaining about "omg my washing machine broke! Why does deployment suck so bad!!!" :rolleyes:
    Good luck with your little one. Feel free to vent if you need to. I will totally get it.
  9. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Nov 17, 2005
    Just wanted to say hi and welcome, sorry you had to join our club.
    My daughter was diagnosed at age 4. Back then, she was an unreliable eater, so giving insulin prior was too risky for us. Our nurse/endo both suggested that we give a shot 15 min after she started eating because by then you had a pretty good idea of if and what she was going to eat. I have to say, it worked pretty well.

    Best of luck, and thanks to your spouse for serving our country.
  10. MamaTuTu

    MamaTuTu Approved members

    Apr 1, 2011
    Good Morning! I hope your doing "ok" this morning. My daughter is 20mo. old and she was Dx just 6 weeks ago. I know how you are feeling, I think most of us Mamas do :/ I was taught to give Isabella her shot AFTER she eats for the simple fact of her age. I was wondering do you have a team of people who deal specifically with children with Diabetes? I drive about an hour and a half to get help with a wonderful team who ALL ARE SUPER supportive and whos lives seem to be as wrapped up in Diabetes as mine has become. I hope your baby is dealing with the transition well. Im still kinda waiting on our "new normal" that many of the wonderful Mamas and Daddys on here talk about. Right now we are in the process of getting Isabella on a pump. Maybe it is something you might want to look in to in the future? It allows for a more flexible schedule, eating when hungry, and a infusion site once every three days instead of the 4+ shots a day :) I think after the stress that I hear comes from that, that we may find our "new normal" in the mean time, this is a great place to have someone to relate too. I also find that I learn A LOT on here too. Best of luck to you, to all of us! XO
  11. Lynnieg123

    Lynnieg123 Approved members

    Mar 16, 2011
    Sorry you had to join us but glad you found us. My daughter is 6 and we were directed to give her insulin after she ate to make sure we knew what she ate and how much insulin to give. We were told told to give her insulin 30 minutes after she starts eating. I can't imagine deadling with this alone. It is a lot to deal with but I have no doubt you can do it.

  12. Becky Stevens mom

    Becky Stevens mom Approved members

    Oct 14, 2008
    Hello and welcome:cwds: My goodness! That is alot to deal with on your own:( Im sorry your husband isnt there right now but we are here for you and the diabetes team will be there too. Dont hesitate to call them day or night with questions. They honestly expect that during the first months. I agree that its better to just give insulin after your daughter is finished eating. Its nearly impossible to get a toddler to eat everything on their plate and it just ends up being a battle of wills with them. Let her help you in picking out snacks, giving her choices of Teddy Grahams or pieces of apple. Kids love being involved in decisions like that.

    How is she doing with the shots and finger sticks? Is there anyone else around, family, friends, who could give you some support right now? Even if they dont want to learn diabetes chores, they could come over and help with housework or to watch your daughter while you take a nap.
  13. DsMom

    DsMom Approved members

    Nov 9, 2010
    You already have good advice on your issue...just wanted to say welcome and that you've found the best source of advice and support here. Giving your daughter insulin after she eats is the best bet...you don't want to get into a situation where you are forcing her to eat and food becomes a power struggle.

    Take it slow, be kind to yourself, and know that it will all come in time. These difficult, scary days WILL end--and life will rearrange itself into a new, normal pattern. You will learn what you need to know in time, and your daughter will be happy, healthy, and lead a wonderful life. We have all been where you are now at the beginning...know that you will one day be where many of us are now--leading a life where diabetes plays a part--but does not control everything we and our children do. You will one day do D stuff with the same nonchalance you have when you brush your child's hair or tie her shoes. You will be a pro--and so will she!

    Hang in there, good luck and keep in touch! We will all be here for you!:cwds:
  14. Lisa P.

    Lisa P. Approved members

    May 19, 2008
    Selah was diagnosed at 18 months old three+ years ago. Here's my thoughts if any help. :cwds:

    1. 45 carbs at a meal was what we were told to feed, too, and this was too much for our kid. I've read that adult type 2 diabetics should eat about 200 carbs a day, to ask a tiny toddler to eat nearly 150 when she doesn't want to is nuts. Are you giving half a unit for 45 carbs, is that why you have to give so much?

    2. We stocked up well on food without carbs so our baby could still eat whenever she wanted. She doesn't know what's carby and what's not, she just knew that black olives were a treat, so we bought cases of the things. Cheese, sandwich meat, nuts when she's older, chicken from the night before, whatever she's got teeth for! Fun food is best, Selah put the black olives on every finger.

    3. Yes, I'd bolus after if you are stressing with the meals. Later, you'll learn how insulin times out so you won't be so worried about getting it into her "on time" -- it'll be o.k. We had a backup food -- grapes, cut when she was little and might choke -- that she would always eat. Loved them. But it wasn't candy, so she didn't whine to get them. So any time I'd freak out that she wasn't getting her full carb load, we'd add a few grapes in, fast and lots of carbs easily ingested.

    I'm so sorry you're struggling alone, my mom did that with us while dad was in Vietnam (she tells me she remembers holding me up as a baby and looking at me while she was sobbing, saying, "weren't you supposed to be my little bundle of joy?!" :eek:). It's o.k., of course, to feel overwhelmed, please know in the long run us military brats were all right, and mom still has all her hair (although she's dyed it for decades! :p). Is there a support system through the base, they called it keywives I think in my time? Use whatever they'll offer you, it's there for you.

    Nice to see you here, know that things will get easier.
  15. AlisonKS

    AlisonKS Approved members

    May 16, 2007
    ah so many memories! My son was diagnosed at 20 months old. They also said to give him insulin and feed him a ridiculous amount of carbs. When I told them he wouldn't eat that much they suggested I load him up with sugary foods :rolleyes: Screw that, I gave him a shot after he ate, most of the time he'd eat around 20 carbs so I would give him half the insulin after the fact. I'd give him around 30 minutes to eat. The endo's did not understand he was a little person and didn't understand why he wouldn't eat that much-they are used to bigger kids obviously. Now I give him a shot beforehand because what he eats is pretty predictable.
    if you need any more help you've come to the right place ;)
  16. Our3girls

    Our3girls Approved members

    Feb 5, 2010
    HI and I too am sorry you have joined us but glad you found us. My daughter was not diagnosed young, however I wanted to say welcome and ask what part of California are you in? I am in Ca also. We are between LA and Fresno.
  17. sage68

    sage68 Approved members

    Feb 25, 2010
    Hi. Welcome and im sorry you had to join the club. My girls were dx at 11months and 25 months and even at ages 2 and almost 5, I still bolus after they eat. My 5 year old is getting a little more predictable so if I know she will eat something i pre-bolus, but overall i still post-bolus.

    When my youngest was dx at 11months old, we used diluted novolog (diluted 10x) and it was wonderful, because the regular strength was just too much. That might also be something to look into if you are finding you cant give small enough doses.
  18. zoomom456

    zoomom456 Approved members

    Jan 19, 2011
    Sorry you are doing this alone right now. At first everything is new and scary. Soon you will get a routine that works for your child and you will get a new normal in life. My son was diagnosed at 13 months almost 2 years ago. He is a very happy, healthy and somewhat rambunctious preschooler. What insulin(s) is your daughter using? Are you using a sliding scale to dose insulin? I do agree with other posters that bolusing after meals helps at this age.
  19. Jen_in_NH

    Jen_in_NH Approved members

    Jan 12, 2009
    Hi there

    I definitely agree with everyone else - bolus after she eats. My son was diagnosed at 20 months, and we had the same issue. There's no predicting what they'll eat at that age. The best advice our CDE ever gave us was not to battle with him over eating. There's enough other things we'll have to deal with without making meals one of them, and it's one the parents will never win... :D

    Good luck. I know it's all overwhelming now, but as others here have said, it becomes more routine. It takes time, but it will happen.
  20. Saniyah's Mommy

    Saniyah's Mommy Approved members

    May 11, 2011
    Wow I am very greatful for all the responses back! I feel and know that I am not alone in this!;) ... You all don't understand how much this website helps and makes me feel. I know as time goes by things will get easier..When I first took her to the ER I thought that they were going to come back saying she was just teething thats why she's been acting different. Never did I think they would come back with type 1 diabetes. Right now she's on Novolog, NPH, and Lantis. I've tried some of the ladies advice this morning for breakfast, and so far so good! Thank you all again!

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