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Letting go...so hard

Discussion in 'Parents of College Kids and Young Adults with Type' started by Margaret O, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. Margaret O

    Margaret O Approved members

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    I am just sad today...and worried about our son. Maybe because we did the Walk for JDRF this morning and he wasn't here to walk with us because he is now in college. He's been there for one month today.

    As parents we try so hard to keep our children from making mistakes, skining their knees, and getting hurt. As parents of children with diabetes we also know that making mistakes will happen, but their health is at risk more than scratching the car up or spilling milk all over the floor. Now that our son has left for college it is sooo hard to think about him making mistakes with his diabetes.

    Pat is our first child, so admittedly we (I) hovered over him more than our other children since he was born. When he was diagnosed with diabetes, our family learned as much as we could about how to help him take care of himself.

    As he got older, I nagged (probably too much) but he tested more when I did. I knew, for the most part that he was on a pretty regular schedule and always paid attention to his diabetes more because of his schedule. I could ask him whether he tested or covered the food he was eating. I could wake him in the morning to test to make sure he wasn't low and then let him sleep til noon if he wanted to. (he's a night owl).

    I know he has to learn, I know he has to go through this time when he is on his own... eating like a college freshman without someone asking what his numbers are, realizing he has been to the bathroom way too many times in the middle of the night and checking to see if his pump failed, always having something with him in case he goes low...

    Man, this growing up is hard...letting go...

    Maybe it is really hard for him and he isn't sharing with us, or maybe he is glad to finally be able to do this on his own and prove to us, but more importantly himself, that he can take care of himself. I know he has to.

    Sorry for the rambling, but I find it so crazy that you are with a child for 18 years, last 4 of which he has had diabetes, and all of a sudden he's not around every day...he doesn't call every day and I am just feeling sad and I miss him and I want him to be okay. :(
     
  2. OSUMom

    OSUMom Approved members

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    Awww don't be sorry for sharing. :cwds: It's comforting hearing you feel the same way I do, it means I'm not alone in this. *sigh*
     
  3. Tarheel84

    Tarheel84 Approved members

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    Margaret,

    Your post really hit home with me. My son was diagnosed in June and left for summer school in July. He is only on Lantus at night right now since he is still honeymooning but I know that eventually he will need meal time insulin and will be on his own while learning how to dose for that. I know that for awhile everytime we talked I asked something about the diabetes. I notice now he doesn't call me as often and its harder for me to get ahold of him. I have to back off and let him figure alot of this out on his own..but like you said the consequences for wrong decisions and mistakes is so great.

    Just know you are not alone...I miss my son and worry about him EVERY day. I have learned to pray more and try to have faith that everything is OK. My favorite verse is Philippians 4:6-7.

    Linda
     
  4. susanH

    susanH Approved members

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    i love the Philippians verse.

    and it is a very difficult "letting go" margaret.

    mine is a sophomore and it's still empty around here and my head is still full of worries for/about him. he's shown himself to be so responsible thus far, it's very comforting to me; i wish the same for you and your son. it's still hard having him gone and, truth be told, i'll probably always worry about him. ;)

    i hope your son has a wonderful first year at college margaret.
     
  5. Margaret O

    Margaret O Approved members

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    Thank you for the reminder that I am not in this alone. I pray everynight that he is okay. I think he is, and I am so proud of him for how he has handled all that life has dealt him. He is stronger for it and has his own faith to guide him. I guess I should have more faith in him and his ability to live life to the fullest.
     

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