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kissing question

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by joy orz, Aug 6, 2012.

  1. joy orz

    joy orz Approved members

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    Ok, this one took me by surprise. Apparently the boy next door and Ava had their first kiss in the backyard. They are both six. It was on the lips.

    Seems perfectly harmless. We had a conversation that kissing was for when she was MUCH older and it's ok to be friends and play, but that lip kissing wasn't something you do with a friend.

    Ava was confused about why this doesn't fly since I kiss her baby brother on the lips and sometimes kiss her on the lips too. Hmm, didn't really have a good answer for that one. :confused: I'm not easily stumped.

    Do I tell the mom of the boy next door? I should add that she confessed the kiss, I didn't see it.
     
  2. Christopher

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    It would be interesting to know who initiated it. On the surface it seems like pretty innocent 6 year old stuff. As for why it is OK for you to kiss her, you could just explain that it is something that families do with each other. Friends shake hands or hug but not kiss each other on the lips. Depending on your relationship with the other mother, you could mention it in passing, as something kind of funny that happened the other day.
     
  3. MamaLibby

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    I agree with Chris...she's 6 and it was totally innocent. You handled it well!
     
  4. Joretta

    Joretta Approved members

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    When this came up for us, I explained families have the same germs but others have different germs and you would not want to share germs because somethimes when germs from non family mix someone is more likely to get sick. Now I have the complication of Hispanic and European cultures where they cheek kiss, so we learned to do a quick side air kiss with hug.
     
  5. Lee

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    What are you going to do when they grow-up though and kiss someone?
     
  6. danismom79

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    That's an Hispanic and European thing?
     
  7. Joretta

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    It is where we live. I did not mean to sound politically incorrect, but thoughts are these cultures do it and we accept it with them as what is expected. Nor do my white or black friends do this until we have been friends for long enough to be a part of my family as honorary members.

    As for explaining the later kissing to make a new family is explained as something you do when you are old enough to start deciding who you want to live with instead of living at home with your family. However, in my DD case she did not ask this until she was 7 or 8 a few years after her first curiosity. By the way she worked this out just fine. She is sixteen and has no problems, but is conservative with kissing anyone she is not dating for a little while.
     
  8. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Kissing on the cheek is less likely to get you all germy than is touching a shopping cart handle or a door knob, or an office phone, or a plastic coated Ihop menu or the change from the cashier or ....
     
  9. sooz

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    It seems sweet and innocent to me. Did you ask her what she thought about it? I think we have to be careful how we react to things because you want her to feel that she can talk to you about things. And you certainly don't want her to think badly of herself. You say " confessed" the kiss as though she had done something wrong. I would tell the mom just because I think it is a cute story to tell, not because anything should be done about it. I guess I don't see any harm in the kiss, it must be a case of different sensibilities or possibly religious standards?
     
  10. denise3099

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    I think that's super cute. Also a nice way to start talking about these types of things in an open way so she know to come to you whenever.

    BTW, I've also noticed that hispanics and italians kiss and lots of other cultures don't. I grew up in NYC where kissing hello/goodbye is common and ethnicities and cultural norms get all mixed up and when my friends all went away to college we all noticed that nobody kisses. It was weird. I'm puerto rican, btw.
     

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