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Kids and sports

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by tiffanie1717, Jul 8, 2009.

  1. tiffanie1717

    tiffanie1717 Approved members

    May 16, 2008
    Okay, I'm going to be a bad sports mother! I can tell this is going to be a struggle for me! I'd love some advice how to deal with:

    1) when I think the coach is unfair to my child
    2) when my kids don't do as well as I know they can do and we're both frustrated

    To give you background, Travis is in all-stars for baseball. In the regular season he had a coach pitching to him at his level and he smashed the ball every single time. In all stars the kids have to pitch and he has not hit one fair ball. I'm trying to encourage him, but I'm frustrated with him! :)

    Any good coping strategies? I have lots more years of this to deal with it! I guess we're just starting to get into competetive play and I don't want to be the overbearing parent to the coach or my own child!! :)
  2. HBMom

    HBMom Approved members

    Jan 29, 2008
    First thing I would do is remember that he is SEVEN! I really think that they get into this "all-star" thing waaaaay too soon. That said, moving from coach pitch to kid pitch can be frustrating.....are the kids pitching 7 years old too? Maybe the coach can suggest what he can do differently to have better success.
  3. Reese'sMom

    Reese'sMom Approved members

    Jan 18, 2009
    I just hope my kids learn something about problem-solving, courage, interaction with peers and authority figures through their sports. They may not learn these lessons quickly, and they may learn better from adversity than from their successes. So, it's the ups and downs of sports that give our kids the opportunity to grow as people.

    And remember that all sports parents get a little frustrated sometimes!
  4. Mimi

    Mimi Approved members

    Dec 19, 2008
    Please don't take this the wrong way but the first thing I always ask my kids is are they having fun? If the answer is yes, then any gripe I might have with the coach is less relevant. The fact that he is not hitting the ball may not be as bothersome to your son as to you. Ask him about it.

    About speaking to coaches: coaches should always be open to a calm discussion on their methods, training and behaviour. That said, as a parent I try to wait till the next day after something has upset me before approaching a coach with my concerns. It gives me time to cool off, better organize my thoughts and sometimes see things in a different view.

    When both of my sons moved up to where the kids pitched to each other it was a struggle at first. Not only are the batters adjusting, but the pitching is new to a lot of these kids as well.

    Good luck, take a deep breath and have fun!!

    P.S. your son is younger, but my oldest is on a competitive level ball team this year, (we travel to games outside our city 2x a week)...the coach asked all the parents at the beginning of the season...once the kids are on the bench they are mine to coach and teach, please don't interfere; after the game in the car, at home etc. you can help them out. Now this might not work at your son's age...but I try to remember this at all my kids' game (all 4 play ball) because it is stressful and confusing to a child to be out on the field and have all the adults - coaches, his/her own parent, other parents etc. yelling directions at them.

    oh gosh - sorry, for the long post...near and dear to my heart you might say. :eek:
  5. ROVERT81402

    ROVERT81402 Approved members

    Sep 17, 2007
    Trevor hasn't played baseball for a couple of years, but he races. When he starts to get frustrated, you can tell he starts to ride a little harder. With most people (hasn't happened with Trevor yet...knock-on-wood) when they get frustrated when racing, they start to mess up, spin out,,,fall back. Race day, I'll tell him to calm down, don't get so mad. When he's not on the track, and we're watching the others race, and they start to get frustrated and mess up, I tell him "That's why I tell you to calm down". That way he sees what I am telling him.

    I don't get frustrated with him when he doesn't win. As long as he comes back safe and had fun, then the trip was worth it.
  6. LJM

    LJM Approved members

    Mar 10, 2008
    My son has done All Stars twice and my husband also coaches it. We are in the middle of advancing to play Super Regions next week in L.A.

    I have to at times forcefully keep my mouth closed and the only things to come out of it are:

    "That was a great game, did you have fun?"
    "Are you enjoying All Stars."
    In other words, only positive things (even though this is really against my nature):)

    Believe me, it is far worse to have your husband coach as there are endless disputes about playing time; starting line ups; why X kid is not playing in the infield, etc. etc. The coaches agonize (well at least hubby does) about who to start, who to get in the game, where to play them. Remember, at the All Star level, at least in Pony baseball, they can only play 9 boys and then sub in as needed. Not all boys will start, and some will be on the bench. And, the All Star coach is expected to advance and win in Regions and Super Regions and beyond.

    You can do it! Just stay out of the intrigue. Sometimes they will play better than other times. Sometimes they will be the hero of the game and sometimes not. We just have to stay out of it and let it be their experience not ours.
  7. tiffanie1717

    tiffanie1717 Approved members

    May 16, 2008
    Thanks for the replies. Like I said it's the first time I am getting into the competitive nature of kids sports and it's tough. I totally agree with the poster that said 7 is young, but unfortunately you either go for it or keep your child out of sports. They seem so competitive so young. My oldest is 9 and he didn't make all stars. The team he would've been on practiced for 4 hours a day!!! for 9-10 year olds! Yes, they are a great team, but wow! That's way too much for that age group if you ask me.

    Don't get me wrong - I'm not mad at Travis and try to be very encouraging. But inside I get so frustrated and I just don't like it. And since I have many more years of this I was hoping to get a handle on it now! :)

    I know our kids can't always be the star, but I sure like it when they are! :) haha

    Thanks for your insight! ;)
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2009
  8. Nancy in VA

    Nancy in VA Approved members

    Jul 16, 2007
    I would say you are going to have to eat any opinions you have about how the coach is dealing with your child. Unless he is verbally abusive, who he decides to play and when needs to be up to him. Our travel baseball coach benched Michael one inning because of his attitude in the previous inning. I actually sent him an email later and told him I 100% supported his decision. He said that its always really tough, especially when Mom is standing right there (I'm the scorekeeper) but that he needs to do what he thinks is best. When I agree with the coach, I try to explain to Michael why the decision was made. When I don't agree, it usually a general "Your coach is in charge and you cannot question his decisions. If you want to play, then think about this, this, and that that you can maybe do better."

    When they aren't performing as well as I KNOW they can, I just discuss what they think they can improve on and how.

    I also make sure they are having fun. And remind them that its just a game. Michael is just 9 but already really into baseball and gets frustrated easily, so I'm now in the mode of just reminding him that its just a game and his first priority needs to be having fun!

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