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Kept my boys home but still did the wrong thing (very long pity party)

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by Becky Stevens mom, Dec 25, 2010.

  1. Becky Stevens mom

    Becky Stevens mom Approved members

    Oct 14, 2008
    :(Yes, Im feeling sorry for myself tonight:( I cant seem to do anything right lately as far as my husband is concerned. Even on Christmas I screwed up ( I guess)

    My husband worked today from 7AM till 11PM. I was going to take the boys to my brothers and SIL's house for dinner. My brother called yesterday and said that 2 of his 3 children had had confirmed flu this past week but had been fever free for 24 hours. I was thinking that it would be ok to go until my brother called this morning and told me that his wife woke with a fever, he thought it may just be a sinus infection. I talked it over with my boys (Steven had the flu shot, Harry did not) Harry was worried about getting the flu and being sick over vacation. I was worried that Steven might still be able to get the flu. I called my brother back and told him that we wouldnt be able to make it. I was very sad:( Ive never missed a Christmas with my siblings and since my parents are gone I feel the need to have that family connection with them especially at Christmas.

    After lunch today my nephew and his wife and 2 kids came to visit. They came in the basement and we stayed down there so the kids could ride scooters and play air hockey. After they came in they told me they were coming from my brothers house. I thought nothing of this until I spoke to my husband after supper tonight. I told him they came to visit after they had left my brothers and he got very angry with me saying "Oh thats just great!:mad: You let them in with flu virus all over them?!?!?" I didnt know what to say:confused: Maybe Im just a stupid idiot but I honestly hadnt ever thought of it. I have to go into the basement tonight and try to spray down everything they touched with lysol.

    If youve read this far, bless you for that :cwds: Im just feeling a little down tonight but am so thankful to be here with my boys and hopefully neither of them get sick
  2. Brynn

    Brynn Approved members

    Jan 17, 2009
    First of all, Merry Christmas and I would be honored to have you at my house for the holidays!
    Second, you did what you thought was right, nobody should second guess you for that. Was anyone hurt? Is anyone bleeding or dying? Okay, so there is a chance of the flu, but you can handle the flu.. they have the same chance of getting it when they go to the mall and touch their face after opening/touching the door handles on the door at the mall.

    I'm sorry this happened to you, you did nothing wrong, and I'm sorry your husband is a little less than supportive.
  3. Lee

    Lee Approved members

    Oct 5, 2006
    Becky - all I can say is it was one snide comment - try and let it slide off your back and not ruin what sounds like a fun holiday...
  4. Kaylee's Mom

    Kaylee's Mom Approved members

    Dec 4, 2007
    Don't be down ... if you cannot make your hubby happy lately remember that is not your job to make him a happy person ... that is within himself .. I am guessing there is more going on with him than you letting your family in the house .. glad you had fun ... don't let it get you down. Merry Christmas :cwds:

  5. sooz

    sooz Approved members

    Dec 4, 2009
    Bless your heart Becky, I know about feeling you have messed up in your husband's eyes, I have been there too. But honestly, you sacrificed going to your brother's house for Christmas and that was a big deal. I think your husband was just tired and feeling guilty that he was away all day and took it out on you. I don't believe that viruses live very long on surfaces and I dont think you contaminated your house by having guests that had been in a home where there was a sinus infection. Your guests were not sick, and they were not contagious in any way. You stop beating yourself up and know that I and tons of other people on this site think you are one awsome mom and friend. If the kids get sick, it will because they picked it up at school or from one of their friends. It would not be your fault EVER. No one takes better care of their kids than you do, and no one is more loving.

    What would your husband have done had he been home, bar the door and tell them they coudlnt come in?? I dont think so...he was just blowing off some steam and you were caught in his crosshairs. He has probably forgotten all about it by now and you are left trying to put things back together..it's just what wives do. I hope you have a lovely Christmas day!
  6. Connie(BC)Type 1

    Connie(BC)Type 1 Approved members

    Nov 11, 2005
    Becky, I think you do EVERYTHIING right ALWAYS, you're the best
  7. lynn

    lynn Approved members

    Sep 2, 2006
    Oh, Becky, these comments always seem to come out easier on a holiday and they hurt more. I hope you can focus on the fun of the day and let the comment slide off.

    Remember it is impossible to please all time.

    For what it's worth, I don't think what you did put your family at risk.
  8. hold48398

    hold48398 Approved members

    Mar 11, 2006
    Dear Becky,
    You are caring, loving, considerate, dilligent, smart, and you ALWAYS put your family's needs before your own. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about, and you did NOTHING wrong.

    I am sorry your Christmas didn't turn out as planned. I hope you were still able to enjoy your day with the boys and the family.
  9. wilf

    wilf Approved members

    Aug 27, 2007
    Merry Christmas Becky! The only way they could have brought flu in is on their hands. Have everyone wash their hands tonight or tomorrow, and that's all you need to worry about. Keep handwashing in case anyone picked it up (which I doubt)..

    Best of the season to you and your family! :)
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2010
  10. 2type1s

    2type1s Approved members

    Nov 23, 2008
    Zoe got the flu shot, has been out of school for a week, not around anyone sick and still has the flu! I say damned if you do, damned if you don't. Have a beer and call it a night!
  11. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Nov 17, 2005
    You did what you felt was best for your family.
    Hopefully, you can chalk your husbands reaction to him being stresed and tired from a very long day at work...
    Maybe sit down and talk with him once things settle down.
  12. Yellow Tulip

    Yellow Tulip Approved members

    Jan 14, 2010
    Becky, I don't think you did anything wrong! The unsupportive husband comments always hurt a lot. I got in a big fight with DH a week or so ago, and things are better for the time being, but some of the things he said still hurt. Just remember that you're a wonderful, caring mother, who puts a lot of time, effort and emotion into keeping your family healthy and happy, and try to let go of the snide comment.
  13. sisterbeth43

    sisterbeth43 Approved members

    Oct 14, 2007
    Becky, the boys are going to get exposed to the flu as soon as they go back to school. You did what you thought was the right thing (and I agree with your decision). Your hubby may have been tired and stressed after working 16 straight hours, but I know his comment still hurt. BTDT! sometimes people just don't think before opening their mouth. Well, your hubby stuck his foot in his when he opened it! You are a great mom and you do the best for your boys

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