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Just made myself sad and need comforting

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Emma'sDad, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. Emma'sDad

    Emma'sDad Approved members

    Oct 10, 2006
    Does this happen to you?

    This week, for Social Science, Emma had to either draw some pictures of what she learned when she was born to 1yo, 1 yo to 2yo, 2yo to 4yo and 4yo until now. Of course, me with a catalog full of digital pictures since she was born, decided to find some pictures and found some of her first steps, first time Daddy fed her solids, first trike, when she started to learn how to swim, learning to bake a cake with mommy, learning to play guitar. So I printed them off yesterday and we made a collage and pasted them on the sheet that the teacher prepared.

    Well of course, last night, I had all those pictures in a directory and uploaded them to Flickr before deleting the directory. So now I'm at work and looked at my Flickr account and saw all those pictures and most of them are pre-D. I don't know if it's because of that, or because I see a timeline of Emma growing up and realizing that she's growing up too fast, or looking at those pictures and thinking about that was Emma at Zoe's age where she was care free, and now I have a whole load of care free Zoe pictures and what's in the future for her and will I be looking at these pictures of Zoe in the same way. So now I'm all teary eyed and a co-worker wants to go for lunch with me and I don't want for him to see me with my eyes all watery! I hate D!
  2. Abby-Dabby-Doo

    Abby-Dabby-Doo Approved members

    Feb 23, 2007
    I'm sorry Tim:(
    I also have problems with photos. I got past looking at my child and not wondering what her blood sugar is, and my true wish is to do the same thing with photos and not thinking before or after D.

    It's good to let it out, we need to every once in a while. You have two very lucky girls (three including Mom) to have you!:cwds:
  3. GaPeach

    GaPeach Approved members

    Dec 29, 2007
    Melissa was sitting at my computer watching my screensaver slide show the other day. It has several years of pictures. She would comment on the pictures - "That was before D - my cheeks were fatter; That was after D - I'm so skinny..."

    I had to turn and walk out so she didn't see me cry.
  4. spamid

    spamid Approved members

    Jul 11, 2006
    I haven't been able to bring myself to look at pre-D pics yet, not more than just moving all of our pics to a single box. It seems to be a dream now, those days when we weren't carrying a small pharmacy in emergency supplies everywhere we go. They definitely grow up too fast, I wish we had a rewind button some days.

    I don't know what else to say, and not sure if this helped or not.


    We do understand, and hate this stupid disease!
  5. robinseggs

    robinseggs Approved members

    Jun 14, 2008
    Awwww! What a great dad! I feel for you...I always tell people that parenting is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life! And I believe it is partially due to these "tough" times you are describing! We love them so much it HURTS! We want the best for them and to shield them from everything including the huge burden they carry w/ diabetes. You've reminded me of something I tell people when they tell me it will get easier as Mandy grows older. I simply ask them "Easier for who?" And then I point out that yes it will get easier on me...but that will only because the weight of the burden has been passed to Mandy...and then they look sad... because I think they finally realize it doesn't end or get better. We are all here for you and understand your feelings! I say go to lunch! If the co-worker asks just say "bad day"...if they pry...lay it on 'em!!! Robin
  6. fossmommy

    fossmommy Approved members

    Oct 16, 2008
    I'm so sorry.. it is so hard to see them grow up and then you add the diagnosis to it and it just seems so much harder. Hugs to you!!!
  7. Caydens_Mommy

    Caydens_Mommy Approved members

    Mar 24, 2008
    Aww. Tim.. I must first say it takes a strong man to admit that he has tears!!

    Sorry to hear you are having a rough morning.. It is hard at times to look at those pictures or certain things and think of how different things are now then they use to be.. I hope that you can find some peace for the rest of the day..
  8. LJS118

    LJS118 Approved members

    Jun 20, 2007
    (((hugs))):( go to the restroom, splash cold water in your face, and go out to lunch with your coworker...it'll be good for you
  9. Bsbllmom

    Bsbllmom Approved members

    Jul 23, 2007
    Sounds like you need that lunch. Go and have a good lunch!

    I know what you mean about the pictures. I just had a good cry yesterday.
  10. bgallini

    bgallini Approved members

    Feb 23, 2008
    I get teary eyed looking at Alex's preD photos too. I agree....is it the preD thing or the growing up too fast thing? Probably both.

    It will be fine. She will have lots of fun times now and in the future. There will just be hard times along with it.:(

    Go have lunch. You can't hide in your cubicle all day.:(
  11. frizzyrazzy

    frizzyrazzy Approved members

    Dec 23, 2006
    pictures are hard fro me too because they ARE snapshots of what was before. And you can't help but remember - this is us before our lives changed. But you know, think about it, we do this with all pictures - "oh I looked SOOO good back then!" Or "wow that was the BEST vacation ever, we've never had a vacation that good" so put it in perspective - everything looks better in the past.....

    Just remember you have a healthy child now. Your child will have a healthy future. That's what is important.
  12. Christopher

    Christopher Approved members

    Nov 20, 2007
    Pre dx pictures of Danielle hit me hard too.....go to lunch....just tell your coworker your allergies are really acting up...:D
  13. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    (((HUGS))) I understand. Looking at pre-dx pics is painful for us too.

    Maybe just own up you're feeling blue to your colleague or use the allergies excuse.;)
  14. shirley83006

    shirley83006 Approved members

    Sep 14, 2006
    oh yes, i get that way too. when i look at her picutures and she was always smileing. and i oh did she had it then. But when you look at those pictures you just think of how that child makes you happy and your child is such a great gift. and your child will do great things, diabetes or no diabetes. and thank God that you found out before it was too late. and she is still here. Hugs to you!!:)
  15. caspi

    caspi Approved members

    Oct 11, 2006
    Oh Tim, I totally understand! It is still hard for me to look at pictures pre-d and not think about it. Go to lunch, have a great time, and enjoy yourself! You definitely deserve it!

    PS - I like the allergy excuse! ;)

  16. Mama Belle

    Mama Belle Approved members

    Jan 23, 2007
    Awww, Tim! Hugs! I am so sorry!

    I still get this way over pictures. I ook back and see how carefree life used to be, see smiles on faces and remember what an angel my child was alll the time before D came into the picture. She's till my angel, but her halo gets a little crooked when her BG goes up. I miss having a child with a straight halo.
  17. Barbzzz

    Barbzzz Approved members

    Jul 5, 2008
    Tim, I think it's like that for all of us... looking back at pictures is just the most tangible reminder. (HUGS) - (HUGS) You sound like you need a couple.

    And if the allergy excuse won't work, try the ol' "just swallowed something and it went down the wrong pipe" line.
  18. linda

    linda Approved members

    Jul 18, 2007
    Hope you went to lunch!! You deserve it!!
    I hate the pics of prior ems dxd, she was realy awful looking, wonder how long it was too.....
    But now looks gorgeous and healthy...look forward my friend!! To graduation, parties, weddings, showers, lol:p
  19. dqmomof3

    dqmomof3 Approved members

    Dec 29, 2007
    When I look back at the pictures, all I can think was "how did I miss this?" Makes me feel like an idiot.

    And then, I think - but I caught it. She didn't go into DKA, she wasn't sick, she was in the hospital less than 24 hours. And I try to feel better.

    Go to lunch and enjoy it - and let those tears freely flow when you're in a safe place to do so. Your girls are fortunate to have you!
  20. ange_mom

    ange_mom Approved members

    Jun 13, 2007
    I was looking at one the other day of David and thinking of the same thing. Some days are harder than others! Sorry you feel so badly today. There are lots more pictures to take of that beautiful girl. Diabetes or no... she is able to do all the same things that other little girls can do! Take pictures of it all!

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