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It's Hard to be a Grandparent

Discussion in 'Grandparents' started by EmmasPapa, Aug 8, 2008.

  1. EmmasPapa

    EmmasPapa Guest

    I am usually pretty good with words but I am having a hard time tapping my lexicon for the sentences that will do justice to my feelings on this subject. This has not been a good time for our family. Emma seems to face a new health problem at every turn; and even good news carries repercussions. We were all plunged into despair at test results indicating kidney damage in Emma. Further tests not only confirmed the preliminary findings, but were much, much worse than the day before. The good news was that the consensus reached by her several specialists and her pedi was that the damage was probably a result of the interaction of two drugs used to control the inflammation caused by her JRA, and that by discontinuing the use of one or both of those drugs the damage could be minimized or even reversed. The bad news is that her BG is adversely affected by steroids and NSAID medication yet uncontrolled inflammation caused by JRA is in itself crippling and painful. Whoopie - what great news! Tongue firmly in cheek.

    So just what does this have to do with grandparenting? Mom and dad are the front line defense aren't they? Yes they are - no doubt about it - but those parents are also hurting along with Emma, and they are OUR children. Grandparents hurt for all of them and yet are mostly powerless to provide more than moral and when able - financial support. Our (The collective our) kids are either too independent or too reluctant to cry on our shoulders, and our time with the grandchildren is too limited to provide the comfort and care our hearts cry out to give. The only analogy I can give is that being a grandparent is a lot like being the injured quarterback of a football team playing for a championship. You can root them on, give them advice and pat them on the butt; but you cannot get out on the field and call the plays. We are essentially a spectator in a contact sport.

    Nick, Amy and the kids are on their way to a well-deserved break at Seaworld in San Antonio. Papa and Mimi leave tomorrow morning for a week with Mimi's family in Branson, MO. We won't see or touch our grandchildren for 10 whole days. That is one more reason that being a grandparent is hard. :cwds:
  2. iluvmhp

    iluvmhp Approved members

    Mar 10, 2008
    Oh if we were all so lucky to have such a wonderful father and papa. Your children and grandchildren are blessed.
  3. toohughey

    toohughey Approved members

    Mar 18, 2008
    I wanna be like you when I grow up!! You are very caring grandparents and Emma is lucky to have you. She is in our thoughts and I hope their trip is benificial.

  4. Lance

    Lance Approved members

    Jul 20, 2008
    I think you've perfectly expressed it. It's not something non-GP's are typically aware of - - at least I know I wasn't until my GS was born. There are certainly differences to being a GP, and your analogy is a good one. We're no linger the players. I'm fortunate that my DD allows me to play a role in Zane's care, and I take that responsibility very seriously, doing my best to remember how difficult it is to place your child (d or non-d) in someone else's care when their health is challenged.

    The biggest difference now is that I feel the pain both for my grandson and for my DD. It tears me apart to know the anguish involved and not be able to "fix" it. Would I trade places if I could. Silly question! But that's not an option. So I do my best to be there and support their entire family, knowing that we are all only human after all, and can only do so much. I am just thankful that we are close enough to be able to help, and that they trust us enough to allow it.
  5. EmmasPapa

    EmmasPapa Guest

    I want to clarify that our kids allow us to take an active role in our granddaughter's care. They have been wonderful about that.

    My point is that a grandparent's role is not a 24/7 role and that is hard.
  6. hold48398

    hold48398 Approved members

    Mar 11, 2006
    I am so sorry for all your hurt and the hurt for your family and precious Emma. :( I wish and pray that Emma will get good news soon and that the doctors will find a miracle drug combination that can make her better overall. (((hugs))))
  7. EmmasPapa

    EmmasPapa Guest

    Just a brief update on Emma. I am sure that Emmasmom will give you all the details after she gets back from Dallas.

    Emma saw the pedi-neph yesterday. Her urine tests were still not good and we didn't get any firm answers. He did seem to think the Celebrex was a factor and wants to see her again in 6 weeks.

    I talked to Emma and she seemed as happy and vivacious as ever and is looking forward to her 4th birthday party next weekend.:) Bless her little heart.

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