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Intimacy with Diabetic fiance

Discussion in 'Spouses and Significant Others' started by alaina468, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. alaina468

    alaina468 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    my diabetic fiance and I are intimate with eachother, and I mentioned in my introduction he has had diabetes pretty much his whole life. Occasionally there is difficulty and of course ensuing stress with difficulty of achieving intimacy. sometimes things go smoothly, other times... not so much. He monitors his sugar levels before, always makes sure he isn't borderline low before anything. He mentioned sometimes he cant feel much there. How do I approach him with the possibility of ED? He isn't even thirty yet, that seems like (pardon pun) a low blow. I dont see how it couldnt have possibly crossed his mind, most likely he is being stubborn and doesn't want to admit it. I have tried doing some research on ED, I haven't gotten very far, and there isn't much on how to figure out if it is actually ED or something else. If there is a problem, it needs to be fixed, I very much want to have children with him someday. Anyone have any further resources or advice for me?
    Thanks!
     
  2. monkeyschool

    monkeyschool Approved members

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    The only advise I can give it to "back off". He will come to in his own time. Perhaps the simple fact that he has diabetes and has to monitor or is fearful of issues during intercourse is enough to cause problems for him. The best way to alleviate it is to not bring further attention to it. Leave him be. When / if this becomes a problem he can figure it out for himself. Remember that we all feel something about anything that makes us different, usually it is in terms of what others think about us or 'would think about us if', if there is tension or attention to that particular area the problem is further complicated. An example of this would be a woman that truly believes her 'rolls' are unappealing. If her partner comes close to that area, even when he thinks nothing of it, her mind will bring it to the forefront because it is already in her mind and she already feels inadequate. If her partner was in fact bothered by this area and kept bringing attention to it she would most likely find a way to avoid his hands in that area, however if it became a problem to her and she felt compelled to change the situation for good she would most likely work out more or find a different solution, even something as simple as bringing up the conversation because SHE wanted his input. As with everything else I say, I could be completely wrong, but this is my opinion and how I would be inclined to approach the situation you describe. The last thing your man needs from a doc is more drugs to deal with and factor into his D management where chances are this is something he just need to work through on his own.

    We all fight for things that are important to us, others nagging or fighting our battles may put band-aids on the problems, but they don't permanently fix them.
     
  3. Ronin1966

    Ronin1966 Approved members

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    Feb 18, 2010
    Messages:
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    Hello alaina468:

    What you describe sounds very common whether your fiancee is a diabetic or not. Wind someone up, meaning give them enough stress and there is no "joy" male or female, whether diabetic or not.

    There are several pretty simple experiments you can do to help figure things out to a certain degree at least. The words YOU use... the actions taken could make a tremendous difference. Have you found any materials you like on the topic? There are several books tackling these issues.

    Janis Rozler C.D.E. wrote one though I have never read it myself. Discusses the sexual issues that couples (with diabetes) face I am told. Loathe the stuff most of the huge diabetes publishers put out, but maybe they made a good one this time :rolleyes:

    Its worth a shot looking at the local library, see what they can get for you before committing money to a book you both might hate the style/tone. But if you like it... should make the conversation a heck of a lot easier.

    Babe... I've been reading this book I wanted to see what you thought about some of the ideas... :cool:

    Does this help?
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2013

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