My son went to D camp today, and they do video webcasts, which is totally cool. We got up at 3am to drive him there (6 hour drive) and I'm EXHAUSTED but I just had to stay up to see if I could catch a glimpse of him. Tonight is campfire, with a band and goofy songs, dancing, looks like fun. I love to see all the excited faces, the cute college counselors helping the younger kids, the teens acting goofy, love to hear the silly songs they adapt (they switch around normal songs and make them funny to the kids, with specific diabetic goofiness), love that they have this time together with others who understand. I LOVE that he is there, that he has this time to just let go and both forget and learn, all at once. But. I'm sitting here weeping, almost sobbing. I hate that he needs to be there. I hate that he's part of this fraternity that he never asked to be part of. As much as I hate that he was diagnosed as a teen, I hate seeing these really young kids, and knowing they don't even remember anything else. Seeing them in the crowd and it being clear that they know the drill, they know the songs, they know it all, because they've been going for years. It's SUCH a great camp, such a great resource. I just hate that it even needs to exist. I hate that he needs to even understand these silly songs. I hate that he has this disease. No point to this post. Just feeling conflicted tonight.