"I don't want to be a diabetic anymore!"

How do you respond when your child starts saying things like "I don't want to have diabetes anymore." "I hate diabetes"
Tessa is 5yo and just recently started voicing these thoughts. Not very often, but it was set-off today by seeing her big sister drink a Capri Sun someone gave her on an outing. At 27g carbs per pouch, it was just too much for me to let her have, even though her sister had gotten an extra for Tessa.

 

I am not certain what I would say, however, just curious, why not bolus for the drink?

 

Last year, my son would write little notes and give them to me that said things like I hate diabetes. I told him I hated it too. I would love for him not to have it but the fact is he does so we are in this together and we will figure out how to make the best of it. That seemed to help him.

I agree with jetsmom, why not let her have the capri sun?

 

Since the Capri Sun is so high glycemic, it would send her through the roof, and if I boluses for the 27 carbs, she'd shoot up, and then crash. Anything like that is fine for bringing up a low, but we avoid juices/sodas generally.

 

Yeah, no way can I successfully bolus for something like a caprisun, nor is it worth it to me.

Maybe carry something like flavored water and crystal lite around with you in the car and ask if they have some ice?

 

I would agree 100% with the statement, then try to avoid situtations where that happens. I have allowed my child to go high to avoid feeling different from the other kids. An ocsasional high doesn't matter that much.

 

I'd ask her to tell you more...give her the opportunity to share what she hates the most about it...what's bothering her at that moment in time...Sometimes it'll surprise you what is heaviest for them. It feels good to know someone is truly listening.

 

DD has said things like this before, usually when she is feeling left out or just "different". Only once have we had a full-out meltown. (Last year when she had to wear a sensor for the first time) When she melted, we did too. Our first "family cry" since dx. We just usually ask her what she doesn't like about it and then giving her a little leeway (sp?) for a while. When we had our "family cry" we just gave in and cried with her saying "we hate it too".

 

I say stick to your guns about not bolusing for the drink. It is never to young for these kids to learn that life isn't always about getting what you want when you want it. Yeah, it is hard and it sometimes hurts, but it is a lesson we all have to learn. I think that validating your child's feelings and asking her to tell you more about it is a very good idea. Make sure that she gets it that you hate D too and wish that she didn't have it. And whenever you can remind her that she is a child with diabetes, not a diabetic. I also will carry a spare Jammers 10 in my car or bag with me for instances like this. Sometimes I don't have one handy and we have to do without, but it has paid off several times.

 

I say "I hate it too", and try give him a little bit of what he wanted. Alex is often happy with a tiny bit of cake/juice/whatever so he feels included. Then usually I'll offer him something else, a treat just for him. It doesn't have to be anything fancy ("would you like a yogurt?") but it helps a lot.

 

I've said that before. I got yelled at. Now I only THINK it lol.

 

(((((HUGS)))))

 

I throw in with Seth too...Let him vent, keep him talking and listen. I also would not have let him have the Capri Sun...But I probably would have bought a liter of diet soda on the way home, or a diet there if poss

 

I always get a big lump in my throat that I can't swallow when I get this remark. I always end up wheezing out something like, mee too or I understand. She usually comes up with this when we're in a hurry and need to go somewhere so there's no time to investigate on WHY she hates it. But there were a few times that we talked about it over "coffee" at Tim Horton's.

We always carry Crystal Lite Singles with us everywhere we go so if everybody is getting juice, Emma is more than ok to be different and get a bottle of water and put CL in it. Her friends actually gets jealous because she gets to pour powder into a bottle and then shake it. Go figure.

 

Oh my! Feel free to say it here!

I want my DD to be able to talk to me about her feelings and concerns. I don't want her to dwell on it or use it as an excuse for a personal drama, but I certainly don't want her to stop talking to me about such an important part of her life.

 

I've dealt with this a few times, with one being a major meltdown. I sit down with him and tell him I hate it, too, then ask what he hates most. After he gets it all out of his system, I tell him the things I hate most, which helps validate his own feelings. We usually cry and hug and just give D a big ol' tongue lashing together, and in the end he is feeling better. I also offer to take over any of the care he needs me to, just to give him a break. It just breaks my heart when D gets these kiddos down.

 

I think dealing with her drinking the juice is far less important then her emotional issues. I would and do let my kids run high for the sake of being kids. Dealing with a child that is semi adjusted to their illness is much more important to me then dealing with whacking blood sugar.

 

We recently found "Fruit Falls" by Minute Maid, they are in pouches like Capri Sun and have 2 carbs. respect the pouch Makes Will feel a little more normal when others are drinking Capri Sun

 

Pretty much the same way my midwife did when I told her (in all seriousness -- during the hardest, worst stage of labor right before pushing), "I've changed my mind -- I don't want the baby. I don't want to do this after all. Make it stop!" Nod and smile. Be understanding, kind, and sympathetic. Provide a treat if possible and appropriate. Because really, what is there to say? You can't provide a magic solution, but you can give emotional and physical support, and just BE there.