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How would you take this comment on your facebook...

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Our3girls, Nov 29, 2010.

  1. Our3girls

    Our3girls Approved members

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    "sounds like you need to get your girlson a good strictdiet. they would do so much better!"

    Well coming from my dh's grandfather that has not called to check on my dd, nor seen my family in a year, I took great offense. My kids eat a well balanced diet BUT that would still not change my dd's diagnosis.

    So I explained it does not have to do with what we eat she has type 1 not type 2... and closed with- all we ask is you do not know what you are talking about and the differences please do not give us advise, I offered books and websites they could refer to and I have always offered my knowledge.

    My in-laws all attacked saying I told him to shut up and mind his own business as if his grand daughter is not his business. (Oh trust me I wanted to say that but choose to stay the mature one). I know where he got his mis information because at our jdrf walk dd was eating a donut and my MIL told her she should be eating the apple over there not the donut and then when we treated a low on the walk with juice her husband told my dd she should be drinking water :mad:. I kinda laughed because one says eat the apple and when she drank apple juice they made a comment. Well my SIL and her husband started posting diabetes facts on my MIL facebook and yep you guessed it all about type 2 saying that a bad diet causes it and if you eat high fiber, low sugar, fruits, veggies it would prolong an onset.

    Needless to say my poor dd is crushed that her own family does not care enough to simply ask us questions or research the right info before attacking us. She felt like they were saying we caused her diabetes and are going to kill her :mad:

    So my question :D finally- how would you have taken that comment?
    At this point they deleted me from FB :D:p, I laugh because it makes them look so childish, and no one is speaking.
     
  2. Bigbluefrog

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    Tough situation, I think most of us encountered type 2 and type 1 mix ups.

    Give it time, and sometimes gently explaining type 1 works, when it doesn't make sense to those who only know what the media is telling them, and this media is addressing Type 2.

    I feel for you, and your frustration.

    I guess I would thank them for their concern, and say would you like to learn more about my dd diabetes? And send them fact sheets via mail. Keep it simple and send it in a friendly way. IF they still give your grief...its not your fault...you tried...let it go. You have enough on your plate than deal with family members causing trouble.
     
  3. AlisonKS

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    I've had this happen before in public and asked them to examine their diet-which usually is unhealthy. Block em!
     
  4. Becky Stevens mom

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    Ive always said to anyone. If you dont have anything nice or intelligent to say, keep your mouth closed. I think that should go for dh's grandpa too. Age is not an excuse for saying ignorant things like that. The last thing you need is silly advice like that.

    I suppose you could have gotten real smarmy and said "Oh gosh Grandpa! You mean she shouldnt have a box of hostess donuts for breakfast with a six pack of Coke? Rats! She loves the box of Twinkies at lunch! Now what the heck will I feed her?:rolleyes: You get the idea:cool: I know its hard though, when people who should care and be interested in your childs condition, simply arent. I was the one who posted the thread about the MIL giving me a cookbook that is obviously for type 2s and kept mentioning how all the recipes were low fat. My son is in the 50% for weight BTW, definitely doesnt need low fat foods:rolleyes:
     
  5. StillMamamia

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  6. SueM

    SueM Banned

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    I can't believe that people would be so bold on FB (actually, I guess I can believe it...). I understand that people don't really "get it" about T1D, and that's ok. But, to call you out like that for everyone to see/comment on... That's lame. Ugh. :mad:
     
  7. MamaBear

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    I was talking to my brother this week about suggestions from people who have no idea. He came up with a new response I might try out. He said next time someone suggests some diet tip, or miracle cure, just tell them "oh I already tried that, it doesn't work". and evacuate the conversation.

    And I'm sorry they are treating you that way. But if he's going to have the nuggets to makes such comments publicly, he should have the nuggets to take your response, whatever it may be.
     
  8. JeremysDad

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    I truly believe that no one means any harm when they suggest we eliminate sugar from our CWD's diet to control or possibly cure their diabetes. My mother asked why Jeremy still eats sweets and "can we ask a doctor to give him pills instead of sticking a needle into himself once a day".

    People mean well. They are just not informed. We are informed because we live with diabetes every day. We have learned as much as we can about it so our CWD's will be as healthy as possible (with or without sugar) but we cannot expect everyone else to know what we have been forced to live with, unless we educate others.

    We need to make it our job to inform those who do not know the difference between T1 and T2 and, most importantly, teach others to know the symptoms of T1 so if they are ever in a situation where they have a child who is always thirsty and is constantly urinating etc etc, go to a doctor and test for glucose and ketones right away.
     
  9. Connie(BC)Type 1

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    I think you're lucky you're gone from their facebook accounts :)
     
  10. KatieJane'smom

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    Does your endo/hospital offer Type 1 education classes? Send them to one.

    I had my mother go with us when we went to the classes so she would understand. I knew she didn't and told her if she wanted to be able to care for my dd then she absolutely had to go to the classes and be educated. She went and it was great and SO much better for someone else to educate her instead of me doing it.
     
  11. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

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  12. Our3girls

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    Thank you all for your ideas!! I wish I was quicker to think to be sarcastic :p. It has been a sore subject because we have invited them i have offered them books, websites, this forum, doctors appts and they never respond or just decline so when they give me us requested advice it does not go over very well.
    I have signed them up to receive emails from a few sites each week, and I will be sending diabetes info daily :D . The ettiquette card will be included!!
    I made a promise to my daughter to bring awareness to the disease she has to live with 24/7 never getting a break so that is what I will do.

    Again, I so appreciate this site and greatly appreciate all of you that understand and can get my mind set back where it should be!!
     
  13. Jack's mom

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    Have they ever taken care of her for a day or more? My parents, who were supportive, became so much more understanding once they had my son visit for 3 days this summer. Having to deal with the highs and lows, and hauling all of the stuff around in 90 degree weather at the state fair, etc....... Ellen- thanks for the etiquette card. We had my son, age 11, write a few of his pet peeves of his own. Very insightful for us to see his feelings.:)
     
  14. sam1nat2

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    Im sorry they are not being more understanding. Its such a tough job to get people to understand when the media has done so much work to raise awareness on type 2.
    I'm with others, most people truly mean no harm when they offer up suggestions the first time. I explain real quickly that he's insulin dependent, his body doesn't make it so diet doesn't help control him.

    After you explain that you aren't harming her and they continue---different story alltogether. Diet police are never fun and I'm certain that if you were to investigate their diet, I'm sure you would find flaws too:rolleyes:

    Deep breaths, you sound like you are doing a great job for your daughter despite some serious obstacles from family!!
     
  15. mmgirls

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    I would say even without eating they would still have Diabetes and need to take insulin.
     
  16. lauraqofu

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    Argh...frustrating enough when strangers make senseless comments, but to have relatives do it makes me feel like pulling out my hair.

    My side of the family is great about listening to us, and knows Cass's diabetes is very different from my aunt's type 2 diabetes. Her dad's side of the family just doesn't know and won't go to any education. Very frustrating for her.

    Why doesn't your husband talk to his family? You shouldn't have to be the bad guy all the time.
     
  17. 5kids4me

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    I am so sorry you are dealing with this, i mean, really? Do people not have lives of their own and just feel the need to interject themselves just for attention or what??

    You know where this comes from, older generations were told too much sugar caused diabetes. My dad remembers a nurse trying to scare him as a child by telling him that if he didn't stay away from refined sugar, he could die and said she had seen it kill children. Scared him to death. This would have been in the '40s...

    Not to hyjack your post, i wanted to share that I had something similar happen to me and it has bugged me ever since...

    Recently, I corresponded with a doctor via email about type 1 and a cable news broadcast (about diabetes...completely generalized and it upset my t1 son) that had me hot under the collar. This DOCTOR, clearly thought type 1 and 2 were basically the same thing, or should be treated as such. He emails me back saying that there is some dispute about type 1 being an autoimmune disease (really?? Maybe there is and I'm not aware???) and how eating right and exercise is beneficial for everyone blah blah...

    I replied that yes, exercise and eating well is great! However no amount of exercise or diet modification would have stopped my son's islet cell destruction-and it certainly can not reverse it.

    Even medical professionals do not get this!
     
  18. GaPeach

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    You said that it was dh's grandfather. I would assume that he has had too many friends with Type 2 and too much Type 2 media input to ever really "get it". I am sorry that a family member is making inappropriate comments on FB. That is too uncool. Unfriending is a great solution to future comments.

    I always try to politely "educate" when I can. If people are genuinely concerned, they will listen. If they just "know it all", it's not worth your breath.

    A dear lady in my Sunday School class's husband has type 1. She lovingly gives me packages of Sugar-Free candy for my DD. :confused: I smile and say "thank you". I really do not want her to have them because it causes tummy upset. Sometimes it is hard to get through to "old-school" folks.

    Smile and move on - you are a great mom!
     
  19. cindyrn6617

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    lol...I was thinking the same thing!
     
  20. deafmack

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    That is why this kind of misinformation is so bad for both type 1and type 2. Neither one is caused by what one eats. When someone tells me that I so get the urge to educate. The thing is with all the misinformation going around about type 2 it not only hurts those with type 2 but it also hurts those who have type 1 as well. The thing is that a lot of people are stuck on the false idea that people with diabetes can't eat anything with sugar when that is just not true. Whenever someone says that to me, I say "It isn't about sugar, it is about carbs, carbs, carbs." That is why it is so important to get the truth out.
     

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