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How open are you are your cwd about D?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Lakeman, Dec 2, 2011.

  1. Lakeman

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    The other day we were watching a basketball game at school and my D was sitting next to me with a friend of hers and one of the friend's friends.

    I over heard the two 2nd grade friends talking:

    ...
    F: "she has diabetes"

    FF: "Can she eat candy?"

    F: "Yes, but only at certain times"
    ...

    We have always been very open about her having D. She gets her pricks and pokes where and when she needs them and we treat it as non-chalantly as possible. This is the first time that I wondered if my daughter felt uncomfortable and it wasn't not even because she was getting a poke but simply because she was not eating candy at that moment.

    So I was wondering how you all handle being in the "public eye"? How open you are? I know for example that my sister in law has D and she always does everything she does in private. Then I saw a thread where a young girl did not want to wear her pump...

    So basically I am just hoping to learn how you all handle this kind of thing and to get some insight into various thoughts you have. I expect it is different for many people and I just want to understand.
     
  2. Christopher

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    In that situation I would have asked my daughter (at a later date), did she hear the kids talking, and if so, how did it make her feel.

    To answer your question, for Danielle it varies. If she is around close friends, she does not hide getting her bg checked or even shots. Other times, if she is around kids she may not know so well, she is more private about it. When we are out to eat or at other public places, she tests and gets her shots right at the table. So overall she is pretty open about it.
     
  3. 3kidlets

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    Hana doesn't try to hide it but she doesn't put it out there either. She's 10. She does all her own BS checks in school in the classroom and uses her POD PDM in class as well. When I went for her parent teacher conference last month, the teacher said that Hana is very responsible and discreet (maybe keeps her finger in her purse when she checks? Not sure). But the teacher kind of said it like it was a good thing she was being discreet. Which kind of irked me. There is no reason for her to be discreet if she doesn't want to be - obviously if she wants to be that is fine though.

    My father in law has T1 and definitely is discreet about it. My husband has never seen his own father check his blood sugar yet he grew up in a house with him. He also goes in to the restroom to inject insulin if we are out at a restaurant. When Hana was on shots, I gave them to her where ever we were. But I think that is an age thing. My father in law is in his 60s and I think when he was dx, over 30 years ago, it was probably not as well known and having a needle out and getting a shot was probably frowned upon.
     
  4. sammysmom

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    My son does not hide it but he absolutely hates talking about it. We do not have classroom talks about it and we do not volunteer info about it. We do speak up if we overhear someone talking about him and his diabetes though. The teachers are instructed not to talk to other parents about our sons diabetes (many parents ask).The only info they are allowed to give out is "yes, he can eat that"! He does not make a scene when checking bg or working his pump. It's up to him if he wants to answer questions that people ask in his presence. I'm all for educating but if my son would rather not....we don't.
     
  5. danielsmom

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    My son has no problem being checked or gettting his shots in public or in front of friends. But he too would rather not talk about it. I think I talk about it too much, but anytime I have a chance to educate someone about it I do.
     
  6. KatieSue

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    Mine's very open. She wears her pods on her arms so people do ask what it is. She'll just tell them. She does get tired of it sometimes and she and her friends decorate the pods with sayings like "this is an insulin pump".

    She only HATES it when someone tries to tell her what she can/cannot eat. The rest of it, testing, pods etc she doesn't really care. At school she'll be snarky and tell someone who stares "what? I have a defective pancreas" or some other snippy remark.

    All of her friends have been great about it. Most are interested at first then it just becomes normal and they don't really pay attention to it at all. It's like someone with braces or a cast. It's interesting at first then it doesn't really matter anymore.

    I've always told her it's important for people around her to know she diabetic. In case she were to go low or high. They all might not know exactly what to do but they do know to call 911 and tell them she's diabetic.
     
  7. caspi

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    When my son was first dx'd right before his 8th birthday (2nd grade), I was adamant that he shouldn't be ashamed of his D and should be open about it. I was gung-ho that everyone should know all the facts and be educated. :rolleyes: He was fine with it as well - I spoke to his class every year from 2nd through 4th grade. Then things started to change and he didn't want to be the "poster child" for diabetes anymore. He is now in 7th grade, and while he's not ashamed of it, he doesn't like to talk about it publicly. He does test in class and out in public, but he does it discreetly. His close friends know about it, but that's about it. And I'm fine with that! :)
     
  8. Becky Stevens mom

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    My Steven was diagnosed at a young age so is very comfortable still being open about his diabetes. He will test wherever and will allow me to give him injections anywhere including at the table in a restaurant. I think that all children have different feelings about this and what their comfort level is with others knowing about their condition
     
  9. coni1523

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    My son is 12 yrs old now. He was dxd at 7 yrs old. As far as the diabetes part, he is not shy in any way. He is very open about it. He has never tried to hide while he checks his sugar or hide his pump. He says " this is a part of who I am, and if no-one likes it they don't have to look." I am proud of him. He knows that this is apart of his everyday life,( until we get a cure) and that he is no different than anyone else. He says he just runs on AAA batteries. I laugh, and he does to. He has a great way of looking at it. He says everything happens for a reason even if we dont like it. God is in control. Every child will be different in the way that they think about their diabetes. Just let your child be themself. They will find their way of dealing with this even if it is hideing it or being very open. My son just wants to help others when he gets older, he said he was going to help find a cure. I hope he does!!!

    connie
     
  10. momof2greatkids

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    Audrey is very private about having diabetes. I think a lot of that has to do with being almost 11 when she was diagnosed. (She's at that age where she wants to blend in and doesn't want to be different in any way.)

    I really wish she was more open for safety reasons. Its not really an issue yet because she doesn't go off with friends without an adult, but those days aren't too far off. I always let her friends parents know about it when she is doing something without us, but once she starts wanting to go places without an adult who knows, she's going to have to open up about it with friends or she won't have a social life.

    I've tried to talk to her about, and point out that her friends with asthma or peanut allergies don't hide it and she doesn't think any less of them because of these things. We tell her that her friends will still be her friends and won't make an issue of it, but she won't budge.

    She chooses to test and get shots in the nurses office. At restaurants, she will test discreetly at the table. If she's wearing shorts, she will get a shot at the table, otherwise she will go to the restroom.
     
  11. Heather(CA)

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    Seth is very open, he has been known to yell across a room...."Hey guys! Want to see me get a shot?" That was in Elem. school but he doesn't hide it now either :)
     
  12. lynn

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    Nathan was only two at diagnosis so he didn't have a choice at first. He did go through a stage of wanting to hide a bit. It seemed to take too much effort though because it was a short-lived stage!

    I would guess that there are so many factors involved; personality of the child, attitude of the person saying anything, age at diagnosis, etc.

    Have you mentioned it to your daughter?
     
  13. nanhsot

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    Almost comically open. He gets a kick out of showing people his pump, pokes, syringes, etc. I've witnessed him flashing the football team while injecting his lantus. He once allowed a girl (a cute one of course) to inject him (not in the bum, in the arm, he does have his limits!) 17 year old boys are a bit....different!

    I have a photo of him at Burger King surrounded by teens while he does a site change. They see him eat like a pig all the time. I have a photo of a friend who was threatening to force feed him a candy bar (you had to be there, it was hilarious). His best friend asks him EVERY TIME they eat "can you eat that?" because when he was first diagnosed the friend made the mistake of asking that in all seriousness and my son proceeded to roll his eyes and eat MORE of that. Now it's a joke between them.

    Interestingly my son has a friend (also on the football team, what are the chances, this is a SMALL homeschool team!) who is very very VERY private. He once accidentally got his supplies locked under the bus and I could see his concern so I asked him (in front of others) if he needed to borrow some insulin. Apparently that was the first time some of the team even knew he was diabetic (and I did apologize for outing him). It's really a very personal thing, he doesn't want to be judged for it, where my son wants to flaunt it to the world and dispel notions. Both approaches have merit.

    I personally wouldn't put too much stock into what you overhead. What your daughter is doing is not reflected fully in their friends perceptions, sometimes I think people see what they want and think what they need. One of my good friends who is also in health care once asked me if my son was OK climbing up a long ramp into a stadium....my son who plays entire football games with few breaks...walking up a long ramp?? Clearly some people just don't get it, or don't want to.

    What the friend may have interpreted was that she could only eat it at certain times...like after she took insulin, which is true! Or she may have witnessed your daughter waiting for her sugars to normalize before she ate candy.
     
  14. bnmom

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    Change "she" to "he" and that sounds like Bobby. :cwds:
     
  15. swimmom

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    The conversation sounds like an ok 2nd grade explanation for why she wasn't eating candy at the moment. Did it bother your daughter? Or did it only bother you?

    My daughter has always been very matter-of-fact about D. I don't think the discussion between the two other kids would have bothered her. She has never wanted adults fussing over her too much; she just deals with things as they come up. She doesn't mind other kids knowing about her D.

    Kids are pretty open with all sorts of issues (food allergies, celiac, other health issues). I think they seem to be more comfortable with a brief explanation than we adults are sometimes. We have the emotional baggage :).
     

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