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How much self- care is realistic for a 6 yr old?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by khannen, Jun 29, 2010.

  1. MamaChrissa

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    He tells me, as a matter of course, like "Ma, Im 56; Im having an Airhead!" called from the next room or "I'm 234 and Ive corrected for 1.5 units". Hes yet to make a mistake, but it is likely to happen, eventually.
     
  2. hawkeyegirl

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    Well, nothing would "ensure" that they don't get burnt out. Obviously. I'm still not sure what you meant by not "buying" the burnout theory, but whatever.

    See, I think we differ in our definition of "the smallest amount of responsibility" for a 6 year old. In our house, that's getting dressed, brushing your teeth, picking up your room, and being nice to your sister. My son does not appear to be insulted by the fact that I have not turned over most D care to him, but to be fair, I've never asked. Maybe he's nursing a huge grudge over it, and is waiting for the right time to express his dissatisfaction with our arrangement. As for it being "dangerous" for him to not do his own care, I'll admit, you've got me baffled at that one.

    But again, your son appears to be better at D care than I am. I'm the first to admit that I've made mistakes, whereas in your own words, your 6 year old has not.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2010
  3. MamaChrissa

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    I don't know what your obsession is with me and why every response is nasty and condescending. But that is your problem. Fact is, my well respected endo and CDE are willing to deem him "medically independent" next year for school, weather you think its a good idea or not.
     
  4. khannen

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    Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm glad to hear it wasn't just my imagination. I'm just going to continue in following her lead. She has started asking about changing her pods, so perhaps that will be her next step.

    To the other poster in raleigh... We're in Cary (Salem Elem.) so in Wake County. Trying to get everything in place before school starts, but the first day is next Friday so time is passing quickly.
     
  5. hawkeyegirl

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    ROFL! Obsession. That's a word I hadn't heard used before for normal dialogue on a message board. Rest assured that you are elevating your importance in my life to a delusional level.

    Congratulations on having your child deemed "medically independent" at such a young age. It appears to be very important to you.
     
  6. emm142

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    To the OP, my answer is going to be completely speculative - based on my experience having D as a teenager and what I think I would do if one of my kids in the future developed D. Take it for what it's worth.

    In many ways, I wish I hadn't taken on ALL my D care at dx (14), even though I've always been relatively responsible (with a few emotional slip ups in the first year of D - but never an A1C above 8%). Despite the fact that I've done okay with my D management, I feel like it could easily have gone the other way. And frankly, only 3 years in, I'm eshausted sometimes. Clearly I can't avoid responsibility for my whole life, and as it happened things have worked out pretty well.

    If I had a child with diabetes, I would do as much of their D care as I possibly could, for as long as I possibly could. With my experience, I personally feel that this is the best thing to do to avoid burnout. I'd let my kid do the odd check, or injection, and I'd try to make them feel involved in the decision making as much as they wanted. But I would never, ever put pressure on a kid to do anything until they were a few years older than 6.

    YDMV, and your child with D may also vary, wildly. ;)
     
  7. MamaChrissa

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    Why, thank you. I will take that for exactly what its worth. :D

    You have no real knowledge of me or my son. Your speculations about my intent or his feelings mean squat.
     
  8. hawkeyegirl

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    I've neither speculated on your intent nor on your son's feelings. I merely observed that requiring him to do his own care at a young age appears to be important to you. I'm basing that on your frequent posts on the topic. If I've mischaracterized your feelings on the matter, I'm sure you'll correct me.
     
  9. Rukio

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    ...When I read the title I thought "Depends on the 6 year old...." but that is just me. My cousin is 8, and when he was 6 these were his responsibilities:
    1. Put toys away
    2. Do asthma treatment under a parents watch
    3. Be a kid


    That was pretty much it. I think for a diabetic 6 year old they should be what they are, a young kid. I still forget to bolus occasionally and I have to be reminded. I'm 13, no one is perfect, certainly not a 6 year old. So again, I think little or no self care should be required from a 6 year old.
     
  10. hawkeyegirl

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    This is sort of a stream of consciousness thought post, brought on by thebestnest5's current thread about wearing a CGM. I guess I feel like I ask a lot of my 6 year old, even while not asking him to do any of his own care. I ask him to stop what he's doing and submit to me poking his fingers numerous times a day. Once every 3 days I ask that he lay quietly on the couch while I insert a 13mm needle in his stomach. Once every 7 days I ask that he lay quietly on the couch while I insert a larger needle in his little butt cheek. I ask that he not eat anything without telling me. I ask that he cooperate with being woken in the night and being made to eat or drink on a regular basis. I ask that he tolerate wearing two sites and a machine in a pouch around his waist. I ask that sometimes he stop playing until treatment for a low BG works. I sometimes ask that he eat a no carb meal so I can figure out what is going on with his BG. I ask that he stop what he's doing if his CGM alarms and that he tell an adult. I sometimes ask that he wait to eat a meal so that we can get a correction going if he's high.

    At this point, I am already asking an awful lot of him. An awful lot, for a little guy. :( It's frankly heartbreaking if I think about it too much.
     
  11. MamaChrissa

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    The operative word. I have never required him to be anything. You seem to assume that because my son has taken a great deal of interest and has a great deal of pride in his own care, that I am somehow pushing or manipulating him to be so. Hardly the case. Literally since birth he has been a very headstrong guy and has always preferred he be in control of any situation. Just ask his twin sister. I have simply used his desire to be in control to his best advantage. There are no rewards or punishments attached to his D care. He does what he does because he wants to and he can. Am I proud of him? Sure. But its not like other kids could not do what he does, given the opportunity.

    I suppose I do post more on this topic than others. I guess I just feel a child should be given the opportunity to care for themselves based on their abilities and desires rather than simple chronology or their parent's desire to stay in total control.

    But again, I have never told, nor will I tell, another parent what to do. I simply share my/our experiences.
     
  12. hawkeyegirl

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    You have previously stated that unless he's sick or low, it's not acceptable to you when he refuses to do his own finger pokes or operate his pump. Link.

    You've also said that there would be "consequences" if he was lax about his D care at school. Link.

    I also think that you're flat-out wrong about other kids doing what he does. It's not that we're all just not giving our kids the chance for "empowerment." It's that we think that 6 year old brains are not fully-formed enough to make life and death decisions independently, especially when impaired by a high or low BG.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2010
  13. MamaChrissa

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    Digging up links? Have you no better passtime?

    Defiant behavour is defiant behavour. I dont care if its D related, HW related or what have you. So, technically, yes, there are concaquennces related to D. But its a hair split, and you know it.
     
  14. hawkeyegirl

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    I didn't have to dig very far. They were all on the first page of your most recent posts. You post about this topic a LOT. ;)

    It's not a hair split for me. Forgetting to check BG or to carry supplies with you, or not feeling like doing a finger poke is not behavior that should be punished in a 6 year old, in my opinion. It's fine if your opinion differs; I'm just trying to suss out exactly what your opinion is.
     
  15. emm142

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    So, can you clarify, do you require your child to be responsible for his D care or not? Does his initial enthusiasm to take care of himself mean that he can now literally never get a break (without a good excuse)?
     
  16. MamaChrissa

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    Forgetting? Sure, I can buy forgetting from time to time. Everyone has a "blond moment". But not feeling like it? Do anyone ever really feel like it? It sucks, but we all gotta do stuff we don't feel like. And the "consequence" is the indignity of me doing it for him.
     
  17. MamaChrissa

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    My assistance is available upon request. I do not "require" a thing. He WANTS to do pokes and boluses.
     
  18. Rukio

    Rukio Banned

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    Is it wrong to request you two take this to PMing?
     
  19. emm142

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    In my opinion, their discussion is pretty relevent to the topic.
     
  20. Lee

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    Yes - because this is exactly what this post is about - and every parent needs to be able to defend the decisions that they make - which is what you are seeing an example of.
     

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