What I've found is that there is no way to understand diabetes unless you're "alone" in the room with it. We have to carve out times when my husband is the only person who can do the work in order to have him thoroughly understand it and for me to have confidence enough in his understanding that I don't second guess everything he does when we're together. Those times we get away from this, like when he is working a lot and I take all the diabetes care, we start to get into trouble eventually, with him scared to try to do anything at all because it's invading my "kingdom" and with me both resenting that he won't do the work and criticizing him when he does do it but does it in a way I wouldn't. It takes conscious effort, and humility on the part of both spouses. It's so easy for me to get mad and pull a "Never mind! I'll just do it myself!" and it's so easy for him to just avoid every task both because he doesn't want to hurt his baby and because he doesn't want my critical "expert" eye on him. We both have to get over ourselves so that Selah has good, more rested, more diverse caretakers. That's the way it works for us, every family is different.