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How do you keep romance alive with a T1D kid?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by njswede, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. njswede

    njswede Approved members

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    Does this sound familiar?

    For the first time in a month, both kids are in bed at a reasonable time and you're actually not tired to the point of unconsciousness. You open a bottle of wine and have a conversation that's not revolving around diabetes. It feels a little foreign, but it feels good. Well, the night proceeds the way really good nights do and slightly intoxicated by the wine and the gentle caress by your partner you move closer and... BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP!!! 66 and two arrows down on the Dexcom!!! Well, there goes that night.

    Raise your hand if this has happened to you! :)

    With all the hassle of finding D-babysitters and all the worries when you do, how do you and your partner keep the fire burning despite D? Do you settle for less "couple time" and date nights or have you found a formula for it?
     
  2. Joseph

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    Not yet...
     
  3. mmgirls

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    I guess it is our normal, my odest dx at 13 months and youngest at 5. So I have 2 kiddos to think about! we did go out to dinner last Friday and I think I am going to make that happen way more often because it was nice, but we have been thru so many phases over the last 25 years, thinks are aways changing
     
  4. Lakeman

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    Yes it happens all the time. But it does not ruin the night.
     
  5. rgcainmd

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    Q: How does any couple keep romance alive?

    A: With erotic literature and restraints... :wink:
     
  6. njswede

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    LOL!!! :)

    I have to admit that part of me asked this question to see what wacky answers I would get. :)
     
  7. Theo's dad Joe

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    66 and one arrow down and I could make it work. You got me with two arrows down though.
     
  8. KHS22

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    Haha. Thanks for this. Made me giggle - love the way you put it!

    And yah. We try to trade off nights for being in charge of diabetes, which is great. Except that one or the other is always exhausted! LOL
     
  9. msschiel

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    Not usually diabetes related, but dh works 10 hours a day and is in bed by 8:30-9 most nights. I stay up until 10 (usually) to get some quiet time after the kids are in bed. Checks at midnight and 3 (Unless things go well that day then one check, which hasn't happened in a while. On the weekends, I am still usually in bed by 10 and dh is the one that stays up late and I still have to get up for sugar checks. My body is pretty much used to it by now.
     
  10. cdninct

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    I just laughed until I choked!
     
  11. njswede

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    No. Only when it happens during... well... the best part of the evening so to speak. And for some reason it has a statistically abnormal tendency to happen during... ehm... that.
     
  12. quiltinmom

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    Well, we set the low alarm to repeat after 30 min, so we know we have half an hour before it beeps again. It's all about alarm settings. ;)

    Next time, check his number before settling down with that glass of wine.

    LOL!
     
  13. Theo's dad Joe

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    Sometimes I will get a 1 am alarm and my wife will get an on-call phone page, and it turns out to be a compression drop and a patient who needs to be admitted to ICU and seen tomorrow, and, well, the moonlight is in the window...
     
  14. Lakeman

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    Ah yes, sometimes it does work out in the other direction as we can find ourselves both awake in the small hours of the night with little chance of falling back to sleep fast...
     
  15. njswede

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    Yup, and you need something to do during the 20 minutes or so it takes to make sure that whatever correction you made kicked in... Been there, done that and quite enjoyed it! :)
     
  16. forHisglory

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    Well, lets just say having a T1D didn't prevent #4 from coming along! Where there's a will, there is a way! ;)
     
  17. DavidN

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    Since we're here, I'll share this story ...

    Not long ago I'm at work grinding away on my computer. A text comes across from my wife, "Let's have sex at 10:00pm". Whoa Nelly! Now I don't know about you, but I don't get messages like this often. Needless to say, I was a bit taken back and ... intrigued. I'm not often at a loss for words but this one had me stumped. Do I take the theme and run with it? Do I ...? You get the picture. So I'm choking and the best I can muster is, "That's interesting". So I'm sitting there, very disappointed in my pitiful response, then another text comes in, "Ha Ha Dad, it's me, [your son], I got you!". He had grabbed my wife's phone and thought this would be a funny stunt. He barely knows what sex is but that didn't stop him. Suddenly I was very pleased with my bland response text. Things could have gone sideways in a hurry.

    I haven't been "gotten" in a while, but he got me. I thought it was darn funny but I'll never tell him that.
     
  18. njswede

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    Haha!!! I have a good one on the same theme. Back when we were a fairly new couple, my wife used to IM me cute little messages. She'd always keep it PG, since you never know who's standing next to me at work. Well, there was this one time she didn't keep it PG and sent me a pretty explicit suggestion on what to do that evening. Of course the one time she didn't keep it PG was also the one time I had forgotten to turn off IM before I presented on a projector to a room full of people... Oh, the fun times!!!! :)
     
  19. jenm999

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    I have been reading and percolating on this topic since it was posted.

    My husband and I met at 17 and 21 respectively. We are now in our 40s and together have been through: college, graduate school, death and divorce of close family members, my nonprofit startup, his nationally touring rock band, a home rehab (to the studs), a few broken bones and surgeries, crash c-section of our first kiddo, post-partum depression, secondary infertility, a second kid, more depression and medical issues, another home rehabbed, another nonprofit launched, and that's just off the top of my head. Madly in love the whole time. Then T1 came into our lives. This is the hardest thing we have ever done together, by a mile. And we have an incredibly strong foundation - it will be 25 years together this spring.

    For us sex is the barometer of happiness and contentment. So it's never been about finding the time to get it on. The challenge for us has been to keep our bickering and criticizing in check. We share the workload - I do night checks/dosing because I can fall back asleep easily, and have a flexible work schedule and can nap the next day; he lets me sleep in after a hard night and manages getting the kids off to school. Chores are evenly split. I manage insurance and basals and the nerdy stuff because I'm good at it; he works his tail off at work to maintain our great insurance. But we are two different people and there is no one right way to manage this disease. One wants to give juice, the other wants to reduce basal. One wants to make a low-carb choice for a high BG, the other wants to let the kid have a treat and correct later. Neither is better, just different. We both want the best for our kid and love him like crazy. But the constant, un-****ing-relenting nature of T1 means we never get a break and there are a million decisions and judgement calls to be made every day and - oh, that vial of strips is almost empty, did you remember to refill it?! - there's always something going wrong. We just have to work really hard to be kind to each other when T1 is not being kind to us.

    When we do that it's pretty easy to find time for canoodling. :)
     

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