Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by ecs1516, Apr 13, 2009.
Just wondering how people ' destress' from daily care giving of diabetes.
It can be overwhelming.
It is overwhelming.
I take yoga, and am currently taking an art class on Thursday nights. You need to find an outlet.
The first year, my outlet was chocolate and cheese. Umm, yummy, but now none of my clothes fit.
My outlet is exercise. I agree you hav eto do something for you and not diabetes related. I was impressed with my endo, a few years back I was telling her the kids were doing diabetes wise and she stopped me and said,"But how are you doing?"
We put the kids down for the night after dinner/baths, and then I snuggle up with my Honey and watch some tv or a movie. (Of course, it's short-lived, as I get up every 2 hrs or so to do a blood check.) Nothing relieves my stress better than this!
During the day I like to take the boys for a stroller walk, putting them on one of their ponies for a ride, or else just sit outside in the sun pushing them on their swingset. Somehow being out in nature with giggling little boys makes the whole nasty D seem to go away for a bit, and then I can just relax and enjoy being a mom.
I think having an upbeat attitude is the best stress buster of all!
Stockpiling/shopping coupon sales. Helps me burn off energy. We need to find something better though as I'm running out of room in my basement. We sell excess at tag sales to raise $ for his diabetes supplies.
I don't. Now let me explain.....
We haven't even gotten into this a year yet, I am overwhelmed, stressed and completely boggled by all of it!!!!!!
My thought on the whole thing is this.....he doesn't EVER, for the rest of his life, get a break, get an hour off, get to ditch it.......why should I?
Now I know I will have everyone all up in arms on this comment, but it is something I feel is how it should be, for me. Do I spend time crying, yes. Do I spend time wishing and hoping, yes. Do I spend too much energy steaming full force ahead, yes. But there is no way I could ever feel fair or equal or right being in a calm, pampered, unstressed class or hobby. Maybe in a few more months I might change my mind?????
You are completely justified in your feelings and they will change in time. Things will calm down a little and it does get easier as they get older.
Our boys are around the same age (my son will be 15 on Aug 9th) and I would suggest getting him on the pump as soon as your endo allows. It really helps alot during the teenage years when they are out and about on their own, eating and goofing around with their friends. Hang in there Mom, it does get easier
In answer to how do I destress? I take a few hours to have lunch or dinner with friends every so often.
I go to the gym a LOT!
DH also takes the boys fishing and "out" regularly. This weekend they went on a bike ride while I went shopping.
And honestly, I had to quit coming to CWD for a while (please don't shoot me!) I just needed to not think about D so much!
We have 2 great babysitters and we go out occasionally.
I know you homeschool, so you're around D all the time. Having Carson at school has actually helped me more than I thought. I thought I would be stressed the whole day he was at school, but actually it's nice -- the nurses are GREAT and it's so nice to have them be "in charge" of D during school hours.
Kari, I used to feel like you do. I spent about 2 years completely absorbed in diabetes and all the emotions that go with it. The good part was that I read a million books and spent hours here on this board each day and learned a lot about caring for my daughter. The bad part is I gained 40 pounds, became very depressed and socially isolated.
About 6 months ago, I finally got totally burned out, and it's been a good thing. I started sleeping more and not getting up every 2-3 hours to make sure her BG number was as close to 100 as I could get without the threat of a low, stopped reading books and stopped coming to the D boards. I'd had enough. D had taken over my life and my joy was gone.
While D is still an everyday part of our lives, it's not the ONLY thing. We've started taking trips again and I have become more active in church and spending time with my husband and friends--away from the kids. I've started exercising and spending less time on the computer. I don't let numbers control my mood anymore.
The thing is, our kids are more resiliant than we realize. Your son WILL have a life outside of and in spite of D, and D won't be the first thing on his mind. Oftentimes I think D hurts us parents more than it hurts our kids.
Take it from me, you NEED to de-compress. I didn't do it and it's taken a toll on my health, both mentally and physically. You can't give the best care to your son when you are not in your best frame of mind. Find a hobby or something--ANYTHING--outside of D. It will be beneficial to both you and your family. :cwds:
I really haven't figured out the answer to this question. I love to read, so when I can steal a few minutes to do that, I do. Sometimes I just sleep...seems to be the thing I'm the most short of these days. I do sing on the worship team at my church and try to never miss a practice, because that is divine relaxation for me...I love it.
As much as it pains me to say this, I am looking forward to Jayden going to school in the fall. We have been homeschooling since before dx, and I think I'm just tired of dealing with diabetes 24/7. I will be going back to work when she goes to school. I'll be teaching, so my schedule will be mostly the same as my kids' schedules are. I might change my mind about how I feel about it in a year, but right now, I'm excited and ready for the change. There is a fantastic nurse at the middle school, and there are five other students with type 1 at the school. They all get together on Monday afternoons with the nurse for their own support and encouragment - I think that's awesome, and I think it will help Jayden not feel so alone with this disease.
I am far from an expert yet, but I completely believe in the need to relieve stress for the benefit of my son.
Diabetes is a very complex, overwhelming disease, BUT, in my opinion not the worst possible option. With the help of his parents, Jared can lead a pretty normal life considering. When I am stressed, he knows it. When I leave and go for a run or something, I come back much calmer and often times with a different view of a current issue.
I believe that if my husband and I don't make time for our individual hobbies and times to regroup that Jared will suffer because of it. As it is, Jared is a very happy, adjusted child who knows that we need to take care of his Diabetes but that life is still a very happy place to be.
That is my 2 cents...
son, Jared - Age 4 1/2, Dx 9/18/08.
I go shopping. I also have an older daughter and i did not want her to constantly stress about diabetes. I do have my days where I want to cry and vent. I have a very helpful husband who does the middle of the night testings so i can sleep. I then in return get up early and he gets to sleep in. Our kiddos go to bed between 8-9pm so I cuddle up on the couch with my husband for our time. i would love to find a way where my husband and i could have date night, but at this time I do not trust anyone with my baby.
Hmm... aside from the almost empty open bag of jellybeans next to me at the moment?
I have a very hard time escaping from it enough to destress really. I'm not shy to admit that. My father lives with us so we technically have a 'live-in babysitter'. However, he has trouble with all the measuring/carb counting for her. DH is wonderful about me taking time for myself as I go to scrapbooking crops or out to dinner with friends. However, he sometimes just doesn't "get" some of the most important things in her care. For example, don't panic when she is 120 an hour after a pizza dinner and still has 1.5 units on board so she better have like 20 uncovered carbs to make up for it. Ummmm nope... that food is still digesting and that insulin will be used. Therefore, I come home to find her 380 before I go to bed and get to fight the stubborn high for several hours overnight. Ugh... but I KNOW he is trying and wants to help.
I'm the 'default' parent for everything in our life... D or otherwise. It's stressful, no doubt about it. I just take one day at a time and do my best with what I can handle. At the end of the day, I'm just thankful we made it through another day.
We are only about a month into this, but I have managed to work in the gym about once a week (not much, I know, but it helps), escape for about an hour at a time to walk around Target, Borders with a coffee, and we have left the kids with my mom (between dinner and night shots) for a nice dinner out with just the two of us. I haven't managed much over an hour, but those are nice little mini-breaks for me.
I exercise. a lot. I exercise with my kids, too. I read. I go out with my girlfriends/husband. I trust my teenagers to take care of their little sister. My oldest has had 2 sisters with diabetes (one for 10 years) so I trust her completely to handle the daily needs. My 14 year old has had it for 10 years, and she is more than competent about caring for herself and her little sister. I play piano, flute, and nap (about once a month). I think it's REALLY important for our kids to see that their lives do not stop for diabetes, and ours shouldn't either. If we are consumed by the disease, then how can we not expect our kids not to be?
To de-stress I carry out extensive scientific sampling of the products of Canada's many excellent microbreweries.. And once a month a game of poker with the guys.
You are entitled to your feelings, but I respectfully disagree. It is true that they live with this 24/7, but it need NOT always be at the front of thier minds. Our sons are about the same age, though my son has had D for about 5 years. I can guarantee that I think of D waaaayyy more than he does, and I think at this age that is a good thing. He is a good kid, and manages his D pretty well. The endo is thrilled with how he is doing. It is something that is always in the back of our minds and we make necessary accomodations for it. We do not let it rule our lives though.
Mostly, I play tennis to relieve my stress. I do this while he is in school, and I leave my cell phone on. I am always prepared to take a call from the school nurse. I am very grateful that I am able to do so...I'm not sure where I'd be if I didn't have that outlet. I play nearly every day. My heart goes out to the parents of younger children (preschool and younger) who deal with this. It does get easier on us as caregivers as the children get old enough to help manage D on their own (the flipside being that they take on more of that responsibility).
I completely agree with this and have done the same...several times. This is a great resource, and I highly recommend this site to people, but overload isn't good, and sometimes it pays to take a step back for a while.
Ok Im coming to your house!! LOL....seriously, I dont really destress and honestly think its gonna be an issue soon. I love to read, but lately I cant concentrate. I have a zillion craft projects half done, one that Im doing for my mothers eastern star group - covers for their books, but I just cant seem to get on the ball. The nights I work 2nd shift, I cant fall asleep till @2am, if I work days or have off, I actually struggle to stay awake until the kids bedtime. Im hoping now that the weather is getting warmer, things will get better.I still think I should take a trip to Canada though
i go to a movie
Honestly? I don't find the day-to-day of D terribly stressful at this point. Yes, there are stressful days, but overall it's not like I am in a constant state of stress due to D. It's so much part of our routine that 80-90% of the time, it's just check, bolus, check, treat, calibrate, move on.
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