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Hello

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Faith, Jan 4, 2011.

  1. Faith

    Faith Approved members

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    Hi, I'm a mum of five, four boys and one girl. My youngest was diagnosed in November with type 1 diabetes. He was 28 months old at diagnosis.

    He was having lots of wet nappies and drinking lots. The health vsitor advised his problems were probably behavioral and that I should restrict his drinks. I asked if I could get a urine test as I had frightened myself reading something awful on the internet. It took me a week to get a urine sample in a potty meanwhile I was restricting his drinks. On the day I dropped off his urine sample he was whimpering like an animal and when the doctor rang he was in such a state I could barely hear the doctor speak. When the doctor told me he had a high sugar level in his urine I have to say I still thought it was going to be ok. On the way to the doctors I convinced myself it must be because he had dropped some biscuit into the potty and it had secreted all it's sugar into the sample over night. Then when they tested his blood at the surgery and his blood sugars were high and they sent us to hospital I was racked with guilt thinking I was a terrible mother and they were going to find out that I had let him eat a really rubbish cereal for breakfast.

    Anyway I feel I could type out everything but that would make this introduction an epic instead of a paragraph.

    So to cut a long story short, that awful thing I read on the internet became my sons story too.

    He is on 3 injections of a fast acting insulin after meals and a slow acting insulin injected before bed. Our local health authority does not fund insulin pumps and they are way out of our budget but we are still in the early stages of his treatment anyway (We are in the UK)

    My son I feel is coping very well with all the treatment. He has lots of bruises from the injections but he does kick and fight. We are struggling to keep his sugar levels at a decent level, lots of highs and lots of lows, lots of eating half a biscuit at midnight etc.

    The first week after diagnosis I felt like I couldn't exhale. Shock and fear. And since then I have felt like Mrs Angry. Angry at people for their hurtful, ignorant comments. Angry that it couldn't be someone elses child for once (my children have all been through so much) and when their parents just pass diabetes off as no big deal. Angry that I have to inject my frightened little boy, angry that I have to wake him up at night and nag him to eat, angry that his sheets are smeared with blood etc etc

    And then I am Mrs Guilty. Was it something I ate when pregnant or when breastfeeding because I only stopped just before his diagnosis? Guilty that it wasn't me instead of him. Guilt that I am not giving my other children enough attention. Guilt that I am angry with other people and oh so gulity that I feel angry with God.

    Oh my word, what a nightmare this is!

    Well, hello to you all on this forum. I hope one day I will be of help to some of you. I have bucket loads of sympathy for any child in my son's situation and for any parent enduring this roller coaster ride. I pray everyday for a cure but meanwhile I hope there will be lots of help and support out there to keep my son as healthy as possible and to keep me as sane as possible.

    Best wishes to you all.
     
  2. Becky Stevens mom

    Becky Stevens mom Approved members

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    Hello and welcome:) You poor dear! Its such a hard road in the beginning ,isnt it?:( I promise you that it will get easier in time, every week, every day, you will feel a little more confident and comfortable and accepting. Right now you are grieving and that is very normal. You feel like youve lost your "perfectly healthy" little boy and your "normal" life. Is that about right? That is the way I felt for awhile at first and yes I was Mrs Angry too and Mrs Guilty. Thought Steven had type 1 because I didnt breastfeed or because I'd had a C-section. Now I know he has type 1 diabetes because of many, many things, most beyond my control.

    So first things first. You say that your son fights the shots? My son did too at first. Some things I did were to use the shortest needle available. Then I'd find something on TV that he liked to watch while I got the needle ready. I would bring it in and tell Steven it was time for insulin. I would then start talking about what our plans were for the day while I gathered him in my arms and did the shot. After the shot was done I would thank him and say "now we can get on with our day:) ) He started saying that after awhile himself. I also gave Steven a syringe with the needle broken off so that he could give all of us and his stuffed animals our insulin too. And I took an empty syringe and poked myself in the thigh and butt with it in front of him while he watched. He looked up at my face and I smiled at him. That seemed to help him to relax for his shots.
     
  3. VinceysMom

    VinceysMom Approved members

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    I am so sorry you are going thru all this, but welcome to our "family."

    Last year at this time, I was where you are. Going thru the grieving process, angry at everyone, angry with God, how could He let this happen, etc. It took about a good month or so for me to realize I had to settle down and try to learn all I could about Type 1 diabetes. So, my suggestion to you, is to educate yourself, read as much as you possibly can. Once I educated myself, some of my fears were relieved, and then all those horror stories you "hear" from others, well, most of them are just not true and you WILL learn how to keep you baby healthy. I have learned so much from this forum, I have become addicted to it, I am "here" every day as many of us are.

    If you have question about numbers, insulin, etc., come here, post your questions, post your numbers, SOMEONE will reply to you and try to help you thru it. In time you will even learn to make insulin adjustments on your own (REALLY, IT'S TRUE!). I know how scared and overwhelmed you are right now. But you will be ok, your baby will be ok. We are all here to help eachother. So come back often.

    Best wishes...

    Kathy
     
  4. Butterfly Betty

    Butterfly Betty Approved members

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    Welcome! I have spent the last month going through the same stages that you have described. I have been angry, and felt guilty. Like I did something to cause my daughter to get diabetes. Even though, logically, I knew that I didn't. I have felt frustrated that I have to think about how many carbs is in every piece of food that she puts in her mouth. I feel guilty everytime I have to stick her with a needle but I do it because I have to. It's saving her life and I keep telling myself that this is what makes me a good mother. Keep your chin up, honey, and remember that you aren't alone.
     
  5. 5kids4me

    5kids4me Approved members

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    I am so sorry you are in this too....

    I understand your guilt! Try to let it go or it will drive you mad...Slowly, I am learning to accept this-you will too and your anger and guilt will lessen.
     
  6. Faith

    Faith Approved members

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    Jan 4, 2011
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    Thank you for your lovely supportive messages and warm welcome.

    Now I shall pack up my troubles and smile, because it's not all bad.

    Two nights ago my little boy did a HUGE wee in his potty unbeknownst to me. When I walked into the room he was dipping his sweeping brush (Christmas present) in the potty and as I got closer I saw he had "cleaned" his new farm set, his baby doll and a vast area of the carpet. It was so funny but I did try not to laugh too much as I was disinfecting everything and telling him we musn't put the brush in the potty! I think he was quite proud of his cleaning, bless him.

    Anyway, thank you again x
     
  7. kiwiliz

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    What a cutie! Welcome.:D
     
  8. VinceysMom

    VinceysMom Approved members

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    Now THAT is too cute!! Omygoodness! :D

    Please feel free to join us on facebook if you have a FB... i am Kathy Comella-Adkins on fb.

    - Kathy
     
  9. Lovemyboys

    Lovemyboys Approved members

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    Sep 19, 2010
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    I also have four boys and my youngest was diagnosed this last September. I'm so sorry that you have to join our little club here, but also glad you found us. I've learned so much from the gracious people here. I too struggled with all feeling that you mentioned. But like everyone says, it does get easier. Now we've sort of found our new normal. I no longer wonder how I'm going to keep this little boy alive, I just do it.

    You're little one sounds like he'd fit in right at home here at our house!
    Blessings to you!
     
  10. Kalebsmom

    Kalebsmom Approved members

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    Welcome. I am sorry to hear about your son, but he sounds like a great kid.

    We are about three years into this and it does get better. There are still days where I want to cry, and sometimes do, but for the most part it is better.

    If you ever have a question there are great people on here always willing to help.

    Best of luck.
     

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