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Hello...I'm new

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Kara, May 4, 2008.

  1. Kara

    Kara Approved members

    Apr 22, 2008
    I'm a single mother of a three year old, Carter, with T1. He was diagnosed about two weeks ago, the week before my finals at college. I was able to finish the semester, but I'm worried about going back to school in the fall (I already canceled my summer classes) and I've not been able to work since he was diagnosed.

    At the moment, my family is very nervous about learning to care for Carter, I kept him in the hospital when he was first diagnosed for a couple extra days so that they could learn how to take care of him. I was curious if anyone else has experienced this kind of anxiety with family members and if there's a possibility that they will come around. Just in case, I'm currently in the processing of finding an alternative form of childcare, because my grandparents were doing that for me previously.

    I guess what spurred me to post was that I had one of the hardest moments with him since we've been home. He said, "Mommy, why do you give me shots all the time?" It's very difficult to explain something like D to a three year old, so any suggestions would be appreciated.
  2. payam7777777

    payam7777777 Approved members

    Jul 28, 2006

    here's my suggestions to the parents of newly diagnosed kids:
    - please, dont hesitate to test often.
    - please, be ware of hypos. keep the numbers a little higher for a while.
    - switch from nph/regular to better/newer insulins: lantus/lispro or detemir/novolog.
    - or much better than that, get a pump as soon as possible (WITH the book: Pumping Insulin)
    - get an aviva/FreeStyle/GlucocardX meter to be able to use base of thumb for testing instead of finger tips.
    - read as much as you can. the more you know the better you'll manage. like Jeff says: "It is my belief that managing diabetes is 90% information and 10% medication."
    - learn 'carb counting'.
    - learn how to adjust basals, carb factors and correction factors. doc will help you, but since it's a 24/7 thing and since YOU are the one who's livin with it, it's you who should be in charge.
    - pray to the Lord. this is what i found THE most helpful.

    i hope this helps.
  3. cindyrn6617

    cindyrn6617 Approved members

    Dec 4, 2007
    Hi Kara,
    I'm so sorry you had to join us, but glad you found this site so soon. I can't help with a 3 yr old, but hopefully your family will come around. It took my sister about 6 months before she would let Ryan stay the night again. Honestly, it was out of fear something would happen and she wouldn't know what to do or the what if's. She couldn't watch him get shots or give himself the shots and would start to cry. My mom was the same way. I hope your family will come around sooner. There's alot of parents here with little ones who can help better than I can. Good luck and know it will get easier.
  4. twodoor2

    twodoor2 Approved members

    Oct 30, 2007
    Hi Kara,
    I'm so sorry about your darling little boy, but the good news is that this is the best place to come for information and advice. No question is stupid, and we're all here to support you and each other. What regimen is your son on (it helps to include that in your signature as well).
  5. dbz2988

    dbz2988 Approved members

    Jan 6, 2008
    First, welcome. Second, I'm sorry you had to find us and that you are going through a ruff time. Having said that though, you have found an excellent place to come to with questions, to vent, and make great friendships with people that know what you are going through.

    In the beginning it was hard for our family as well. Some do come around. My parents still have a hard time with the care and honestly depend on me a LOT to "tell" them what to do. My father only gave 1 shot to Jr and he's been diagnosed over a year. My mother doesn't want to be left alone with him. My MIL has never given him a shot, although has done all other care (Jr is 13 so luckily he could do shots on his own). We haven't left him alone with any other family member because no one feels comfortable with it and honestly, if they aren't comfortable caring for him, I'm not comfortable leaving him with them. You said you kept in the hospital a couple more days so family could be trained, but did they go? If so, I think it's just a matter of them actually doing it. Maybe the next time you spend any period of time with them, you could have them do it with you there and helping to guide them. It will help them learn and feel more comfortable.
  6. jendean

    jendean Approved members

    Aug 28, 2007
    Dont give up your schooling. Nolan was diagnosed on december 20th, exactly 15 hours before my nursing final exam. I took it, aced it, and that was that. (I did not ace most of my tests... I guess the trick is to be thinking about something else and on the verge of tears)
    It WILL get better. Diabetes stinks, is a full time thing, just like having a new baby that never grows up... I know, but he WILL be ok.
    I am glad you found us, this is a great place for support and friendship.
    Please call your local JDRF, and see if there is a support group near you.
    Your local endo's office may be able to help you too.
    Nobody should have to be alone in this!
  7. Christopher

    Christopher Approved members

    Nov 20, 2007
    Hi Kara and welcome. Sorry you are having to deal with this but you have found a really great resource with this site. The begining is very tough but over time you will become more knowledgable, you will get into a routine, and you will find a new "normal" that works for you and your son. As for family, I think they can be taught just the same as you are learning how to care for him.

    As for his question, I would keep it very simple now, "Honey, I am doing this to keep you healthy." As he gets older you can go into greater depth. There is a chat room on this site also, in case you ever want to talk to other parents in "real time". Hang in there :cwds:
  8. Judy&Alli

    Judy&Alli Approved members

    Jan 26, 2008
    Hi Kara,
    I'm sorry about Carter's diagnosis. As far as your family goes some will be willing to step up and some may not. Hang in there you will soon figure out which ones can handle diabetes. The only person on both sides of my family that can handle my daughter is my wonderful mom who steps up all the time. I have to be careful to not wear her out though LOL!

    This disease can be wrenching so take time to take care of yourself. I know that is easier said than done but promise you will try! Big hugs to you and your son!
  9. Kara

    Kara Approved members

    Apr 22, 2008
    Thanks for the comments everyone. It really feels better to know that there are people out there that "get it."

    He is on Novolog injections before every meal and one unit of Lantus before bed at night. We use the Pen with the PenMate for the sake of my boyfriend who is terrified of needles. My boyfriend of seven months has been extremely supportive and has learned to check BS and give injections. However, he lives 45 minutes away.

    Also, I've noticed that Carter's become very attached to me. I can't tell if it's because I'm spending more time at home with him than usual since I've not been working or it's because of the D. If I'm around, he doesn't want anyone else to do anything for him. And he's wanting to sleep with me at night, which he hasn't done since he was about one.
  10. twodoor2

    twodoor2 Approved members

    Oct 30, 2007
    Well the good news is that you are on a very good regimen, and there are many "experts" here on how to use Lantus. You are definitely not alone, and neither is Carter. I received more help and knowledge from this forum about how to manage my daughter on Lantus than you will ever know.

  11. Erin Grace's Mom

    Erin Grace's Mom Approved members

    May 9, 2007
    Hi Kara,

    I am sorry to hear about Carter's diagnosis, but you found so many friends and family here. My daughter was 2 years 8 months when dx. I am glad that your boyfriend is willing to help (even though he lives far away). It will be nice on occasion for you to get away for a few hours to give yourself a break - knowing that Carter is safe with your boyfriend.

    Do contact JDRF to find local support and also ask your doctor, friends, anyone if they know anyone else in your area with Type 1. We recently moved to NC and we did not know anyone (no friends or family nearby). I found out (by accident) that a neighbor of mine has Type 1 and has a teenage daughter with Type 1. Another neighbor is a nurse and another neighbor's father has Type 1. Now I feel like I have a support group and help if I ever need it. Also, if you have a dear friend near you, perhaps she/he will go through the training and be able to watch Carter.

    Prior to dx, Erin was very independant. However, after she was dx, she became very attached to me and did not want to be away from me. After a few months she started to become more independant again. She is still still clingy at times, but she is more like her old self again. There have been other parents here that have said the same thing.

    At 3 years of age Carter probably knows much more than you think he does. I speak in real terms with Erin and say things like:
    "No one knows why some people get diabetes"
    "It is not your fault"
    "A part of your body (like your heart, lungs, stomach) called a pancreas stopped making insulin. Your body needs insulin to work well and to help you feel good. so now we have to give you insulin with a shot"
    She has amazed me with how much she learns every day. She taught my husband how to use the new meter yesterday. :)

    We also read books about the human body (age-appropriate) and the kids books on diabetes. JDRF will give you a "Bag of Hope" that has a good book about Rufus. Our favorite kids diabetes book is "A Magical Ride in Foozba Land". It does a good job of explaining insulin and sugar in the blood and my kids really like it.

    Please feel free to ask any question - everyone here is wonderful! I am glad you found us.
  12. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Nov 17, 2005
    Hi and welcome. Sorry another person has had to join the gang.

    You've been offered great advise from posters already so I won't repeat.

    You will find a great support network here to help you out.

  13. frizzyrazzy

    frizzyrazzy Approved members

    Dec 23, 2006
    Hi Kara and welcome. I'm sorry you have to be here but you've just relieved a lot of anxiety in your life even if you don't know it yet, just by coming here. :) Most of us have family who are reluctant at best, and downright petrified and refusing to care for our kids at worse. Hopefully one of your family members will be able to help out. It is scary when it's not your own child but usually once people learn, they're just not as intimidated. Good luck!!!
  14. Lee

    Lee Approved members

    Oct 5, 2006
    HI! I just wanted to say - you aren't alone! It sounds like you have a wonderful support system - family willing to learn and a boyfriend who whelps (mine lives an hr away - so I hear ya!) but, your family will adjust and soon stop being so nervous. Everyone is worried abotu your little boy and they have just been reminded how precious he is and how much they love him. Give yourself the summer - you need to grieve and adjust, your son needs the same, and so does your family.

    Your little boy just went through a scary time, where he was feeling awful - and then put in a hospital, and finding out he has to get poked all the time - he needs time to adjust and some extra love from mommy to help him through - that is why he is more clingy.

    The next few months are going to be crazy - but in 3 months, life will be a new normal, you will be counting carbs like a pro, and your son will be into just as much trouble as he was prior to diagnosis - I promise!
  15. shekov

    shekov Approved members

    Feb 22, 2008
    Hi and welcome. My daughter is 3 as well and dx'd just 2 months ago so I know what you're going through.

    I have to encourage you to TRY to get back to work and school. It's going to be tough at first but the best thing for your son in the long run.

    You're lucky he's clingy..my dd RAN THE OTHER WAY when she saw me coming! :eek: I was the shot giver. :D
  16. Thoover

    Thoover Approved members

    Feb 5, 2007
    Welcome to the boards and you really have found a great place here. Like everyone's advise, I can only say also that it will get better.

    Remember if you have to vent, cry or be happy we are all here and have been through it before..Also no questions you have are stupid so ask away..
  17. zeb'smom

    zeb'smom Approved members

    Apr 20, 2006
    Welcome and sorry you are here. Carter is adorable. My son was diagnosed at 18 months and he also became quite clingy for a while after. I think it's normal, he's been through a lot and needs some extra comfort, don't we all. As far as talking to him about Diabetes what I did in the begining (Zeb's almost 4 now) was at every injection I would tell him that he needed it to grow up big and strong. Now we talk about it more and his understanding is this: everyone has a pancreas that gives you insulin to help you be healthy and grow, sometimes a person pancreas "gets broken" and then you have to take insulin (for him in a pump) injections. We also talk about the fact that 'doctors' are working hard to figure out how to fix a 'broken' pancreas but they don't know how yet and until they do we have to check blood sugar and take insulin to stay healthy and grow big and strong.

    I hope your family comes around and is able to help out, support is very important. I think it is important to get back to your routine but it's okay to take your time, you both need to be comfortable and feel safe for it to be successful.

  18. LJM

    LJM Approved members

    Mar 10, 2008
    Hi Kara and Carter

    Sorry to hear of Carter's diagnosis. We have a Carter too (age 10), just diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 3 months ago. I was struck by how much your Carter looks like mine did when he was three!

    You will learn a lot here. People will often respond with very helpful information. Ask for help---try to get a local JDRF mentor--they will be very useful to you.

    I will be thinking of you as you adjust these first few weeks.

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