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Going it alone. Family & Type 1

Discussion in 'Parents of College Kids and Young Adults with Type' started by Paulz, Aug 22, 2011.

  1. Paulz

    Paulz Approved members

    Sep 20, 2010
    My 3 year old son is approaching the 1 year mark of being dignosed. It has been one heck of a roller coaster ride for us (his parents) and his siblings. Many changes impacting the whole family and his younger siblings but I am proud the way we have faced this challenge.

    The one thing that still upsets me to no end is the lack of involvement from the rest of the family. No one has stepped up to offer any help or interest in learning. I tried training some family members to do blood tests and show them how to give an injection but that fizzled out because of lack of interest.

    There is also just a pure lack of knowledge when it comes to type 1. Infact just yesterday I had to correct my mother in law when she mentioned that she knew someone with "sugar" diabetes (type 2) just like my son. I quickly (and rather pointedly) corrected her.

    Have any of you experienced the same thing? Were you able to over come this? Is this normal for family (and friends) to shy away from treatment or showing any interest in educating themselves. Am I way out of line for being upset?

    Sorry for the rant, but I have no where else to go.
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2011
  2. Lize

    Lize Approved members

    Jul 14, 2010
    I've the same problem. My DD's father has stopped seeing her just after diagnosis. She hasn't seen him in 18 months. My mother faints at the site of a needle and my fiance is just not interested. I seriously don't know what will happen to my kids if I should die before they are adults. Scary...
  3. Paulz

    Paulz Approved members

    Sep 20, 2010
    I also just realized I posted this in the wrong section :( I dont think my 3 year old qualifies as a young Adult :D
  4. kpoehls

    kpoehls Approved members

    Apr 18, 2009
    I hope that you posted this on the Parents of Children with Type 1 forum.

    This is a perfect post for that area. I am certain that you would get a lot of support and helpful responses.
  5. Cdpimpinella

    Cdpimpinella Approved members

    Aug 11, 2011
    I am having the same problem. My d has had diabetes for just over one year and the only people who know how to care for her are my husband and i and the school nurse. I honestly thought by now someone would step up and learn. I have begged. My mother thinks she is going to do something to "hurt" her. My sister just has no interest. And my husbands mother still thinks she is going to cure my daughters diabetes. It is very frustrating and i have no wise words to help you. Just know that you are not alone!
  6. Adrienne

    Adrienne Approved members

    Sep 8, 2011
    I can totally relate. I am the only person who knows how to treat my daughter. My ex-husband has never even learned. I think my 8-year-old daughter said it best:

    "If they really loved me, they'd learn. You love me and you learned".

    Her comment has stuck in my head since the day she said it to me. She isn't wrong to equate love with knowing how to keep her alive.
  7. samheis

    samheis Approved members

    May 20, 2008
    Hey Paul. I was in your shoes not long ago, still get angry at my in laws for their lack of involvement.
    But this past year, my mom and my brother have really stepped up. I've tried to pinpoint what is different now, as they were very against doing any shots or having any sort of responsibility during Sam's first couple of years with D.
    These are the things I've noticed that may have worked in our favor of getting them involved:
    1. Sam is getting older-he can check himself, identify when he's feeling low, and prepare his humalog pen making lunch outings much easier.
    2. My husband and I have started to relax. By this point, I've made enough screw ups that I know mistakes happen, and instead of reacting intensely, I learn from it and grow. My mom used to be terrified she would screw up and I would hate her. Now she sees how I'm handling it, and is feeling more 'adventurous' herself.
    3. He's had scary lows and survived. This is a biggy. Them seeing that yes, D can be scary, but manageable, has given them confidence.
    4. They live next door. It became a matter of Sam pushing himself back into their lives. How can they be cruel to my little brown eyed angel?
    5. Sometimes I lower my D standards. My brother took my son camping a few weekends ago. (gasp, still can't believe I let it happen). I stayed in close phone contact, but there were still odd numbers, and my brother made a wrong choice here and there. But, Sam had a blast, I knew he was safe, and it was only a few hours of wonky numbers.

    I'm trying to create this kind of comfort with D in my inlaws, but the distance (they are 2 hours away) complicates things. Now I just remind myself how scary it was in the beginning, how terrified I was, and know that this is probably the same fear uninvolved family fears. It's a terrible circle, one I'm trying to break, as it's affecting Sam's relationship with his family.

    I hope as time goes on, your have some family step up and share in the responsibility. Our children need it, they need to know that they can be away from us and be okay.
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2011

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