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Funny quotes to live by

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by StillMamamia, May 1, 2010.

  1. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    This is my current favorite. It cracks me up everytime:

    "Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.":D

    What are some of your favorite funny quotes?
  2. payam7777777

    payam7777777 Approved members

    Jul 28, 2006
    well, hi all, i been pretty busy.

    my latest favorite:

    All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

    Attributed to: Alexander Woollcott (1887?1943), U.S. writer and critic.

  3. momandwifeoftype1s

    momandwifeoftype1s Approved members

    Mar 4, 2008
    "You can't leave footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt... and who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?" - V. Lombardi
  4. kiwimum

    kiwimum Approved members

    Mar 14, 2007
    If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have made them chocolate!:D
  5. sugarmonkey

    sugarmonkey Approved members

    Feb 16, 2008
    LOL Love these quotes.
  6. Snowbound

    Snowbound Approved members

    Jan 14, 2009
    "I love how you I just make up quotes on the internet to suit my needs" ~Ghandi
  7. 2type1s

    2type1s Approved members

    Nov 23, 2008
    Well-behaved women rarely make history..... : )
  8. Sunni

    Sunni Approved members

    Apr 18, 2010
    Heavens not a place that you go when you die; its that moment in life that you actually feel alive

    Never be afraid to dream, live, love, and laugh.... Be afraid not to.

    Mistakes are a part of being human. Apreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life, lessons that can only be learned the hard way
  9. Illinifan

    Illinifan Approved members

    Feb 15, 2007
    I keep a running list of quotes that I've collected. Most are originals that need context to be understood. Here are some that can be applied in multiple situations.

    All analogies (or models) are flawed; some are useful. (I've used this one CWD multiple times)

    It's like trying to load jackrabbits on a flat bed trailer.

    A plan without action is a daydream. Action without a plan is a nightmare.

    It's like being nibbled to death by a duck.

    These guys are milking cows and trying to get chocolate milk.

    I'm like Madonna. I'm like a virgin, but with lots of experience.

    How are we going to put some lipstick on this pig?

    I'm a pig looking a wristwatch. Explain it to me.

    You were one of those kids who screamed in the back of the car while your parents tried to drive, huh?

    No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    I think this one is from one of the other dads on CWD: "It's like trying to play chess with an idiot savant, only to discover halfway through the game that he's missing the 'savant' part of the equation."

    It's not paranoia if someone is really out to get you.

    There are some things I just won't Goggle.

    And our current family motto comes from "Eli Stone" a couple of seasons ago. Not funny, but relevant.

    "You are one of those people for whom 'normal' is a failure of potential."
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  10. LittleGuy'sMom

    LittleGuy'sMom Approved members

    Jan 22, 2010
    Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.
    --George Carlin

    This one came from a button I got at a souvenir shop:
    I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

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